"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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getting back with an ex

DoubleA

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Congrats.

The only thing I ask, is you use what you have learned from this experience to another man in need.

As is written..."To each one, Teach one."

I knew you'd do it, kid. :cheer:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Ricky

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I have some specific questions on what you said when you contacted her. Did you any way express that you had interest in her again. Could you PM me.

I have played my hand cool with my ex even though to everyone else I have the AFC oneitis talk.

She thinks I was mad at her not for her but the fact that someone broke up with me. Like a girl had the nerve to break up with me.
 

Ricky

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Congrats on getting back with her. Take it slow and easy.

You give me some hope, although my ex is far away.
 

speedo_meme

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basically i was going to "ante up" with her like Rollo had said, but the conversation sort of stayed light and so I went with it. At a high point in the conversation, I asked her if she wanted to get some ice cream Thursday (very important that you get specifics right, so you're not calling her over and over). After we went out she brought up the issues so we worked them out.

The theory that a girl with high IL makes it easy for you is true. this was an easy process. At this point my advice would be to move on and believe that you have moved on. Me and her both agreed that us moving on taught us some things. I wouldn't suggest dwelling on an ex, and i doubt any of these other guys would either. What you have to do is show her an improved version of the guy you were when you first met. And man, I got MAJOR afc on her at the end, so if i can recover, anyone can....

I'd try her back once a month until i got a positive response or you find something better. It's funny how some of these things hinge on one phone conversation sometimes.......
 

Ricky

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I get a positive response when she picks up the phone. I only try once every 10 days or so, or sometimes I email

I'm taking a break.

At first I thought I was waiting too long between contact. I was worried she'd forget about me completely. Now I'm thinking the longer I go the better I might feel about it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Diligentsd

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Best of luck to you speedo!

I think that time you took off, really paid off. Even in my two-monther and being just a few weeks from breaking it off, I think my oneitis would flame up if we got back together. Letting the dust settle and regaining your mental focus has made you strong. Keep it there brother.
 
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