Getting a second chance after becoming more masculine

[Questionitall]

Let's face it: You pretty much get your one chance with a girl and that's it. She sizes you up very quickly and either there is flow and attraction or there is not. If you don't get what you want then there is no going back.

But......

If one saw a former potential mate after not seeing them for say a year and.....

If one gained say 15 pounds of pure muscle (and has a lean body), gained confidence and was generally more masculine, could there be a "re-set"/second chance?

For the record: I do not have anyone in mind and I am not hoping to try this. I am simply curious about the experiences and opinions of others on the subject.

 

[redskinsfan92]

"It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was." -Rollo Tomassi

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Let's face it: You pretty much get your one chance with a girl and that's it. She sizes you up very quickly and either there is flow and attraction or there is not. If you don't get what you want then there is no going back.

But......

If one saw a former potential mate after not seeing them for say a year and.....

If one gained say 15 pounds of pure muscle (and has a lean body), gained confidence and was generally more masculine, could there be a "re-set"/second chance?

For the record: I do not have anyone in mind and I am not hoping to try this. I am simply curious about the experiences and opinions of others on the subject.

People have been seen as attractive after time away and drastically changing their image.

 

[EyeBRollin]

No. Never.

Gentlement I’ll be blunt:

You get one shot per girl per lifetime.

Why? She can’t forget how you were pre-“transformation.” They have long memories.

But, but...

When a former fling hits you up, assume her intentions are nefarious. If you choose to entertain this, it should be for booty call purposes only. Once you drop a girl, that demotion must be permanent.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Let's face it: You pretty much get your one chance with a girl and that's it. She sizes you up very quickly and either there is flow and attraction or there is not. If you don't get what you want then there is no going back.

But......

If one saw a former potential mate after not seeing them for say a year and.....

If one gained say 15 pounds of pure muscle (and has a lean body), gained confidence and was generally more masculine, could there be a "re-set"/second chance?

For the record: I do not have anyone in mind and I am not hoping to try this. I am simply curious about the experiences and opinions of others on the subject.

yes, that's a dream come true for some Disney girls with Disney brains.
I can think of one girl who would pay good money to see an exboyfriend become muscular, masculine and throw off the chains of gynocracy.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

There are too many women out here to be giving out second chances and forgiveness... Place her ego inbetween her and you, you'll see how she really feels.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There are too many women out here to be giving out second chances and forgiveness... Place her ego inbetween her and you, you'll see how she really feels.

How do you place her ego between you? So in the case of people who have growth going around people they formerly interacted with. It's risky because they won't accept all of your growth. You risk some of your changes reverting back or at least weakening.

 

[SW15]

You get one shot per girl per lifetime.

In bigger metro areas, this is good. If you mess up a situation with a woman, it's so easy to start fresh. Since graduating college, I have lived in 2 Top 15 metro areas of the U.S.

You'll run through fewer women if you never use swipe apps and are reliant upon meeting women in-person. No man or woman can get as many dates from just offline efforts as they would on a swipe app. When I have participated in using swipe apps, 4-5 first dates in a 2 week period after downloading is pretty common for me. In real life, it would take me multiple months to achieve that outcome.

The idea is that if you meet women in real life, you'll have better quality interactions. Even from meeting women at the grocery store or on walking paths, I've had women ghost, flake, and do the sorts of things that you'd expect from some thot on a swipe app.

When you live in a major metro area with a population in the millions, you are unlikely to run into the same women over and over if you are strategic about where you plan to meet women and to do approaches. After a failed swipe app date or website date (pre-2012), I've almost never seen that person in real life again randomly in the course of my life. I can't think of an instance where it happened, though I'm sure it happened. It is a real outlier type event. The gym or a fitness class is a venue where you might have to see a woman after a failed pickup attempt, a failed date, a casual bang that runs its course quickly, or a failed extended relationship. There's a good chance you or her might end up changing gyms or fitness studios. Pre-pandemic, ClassPass was a good app to use to go fitness classes at a variety of locations and meet a variety of women, instead of relying upon your primary gym. That's the real caution with the gym or fitness classes. If you meet women at grocery stores, so long as you alternate days/times going to one particular store or even grocery store brands themselves, you should be fine with running into different women. A crowded walking or hiking trail should produce new women. The mall would also produce new women. If you go to bars, you'll be fine so long as you alternate locations.

You can easily date with a metro area of millions for 5+ years and not develop any sort of reputation.

 

[user252009]

too, TOO many guys out there (and here too, probably) aiming to get buffed or some sh1t to become chads because of women

 

[Lynx nkaf]

How do you place her ego between you? So in the case of people who have growth going around people they formerly interacted with. It's risky because they won't accept all of your growth. You risk some of your changes reverting back or at least weakening.

Even acquaintances can't warn you this is about to happen. It can be debilitating to witness someone 'rooting through the trash'.



But I always congratulate a man or woman for trying, because you just never know. Especially if they've worked hard at changing their characteristics.

Maybe a romantic love story is born again out of one of the partner's transformation mastery and perhaps there's good 'scraps' still in the garbage can.

Anyone who has done 'rehits' with an expartner that you love, knows the validational sex is amazingly satisfying. so there is that at least. Lol.

 

[bat soup]

Since women are totally controlled by their emotions, if you do anything that makes her "feel" bad or makes her think that you are unattractive then that's it forever. The chances of a woman that rejected you changing her mind are about 1 in a 100.

 

[Who Dares Win]

You never really have a second chance to make a good first impression.

Even if you make it few years later after a decisive improvement, it only takes a mistake for her to recall her old idea of you.

I strongly suggest to start fresh and new not only for the good outcome but to avoid any useless stress that reminds you of your old self.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I had to learn this the hard way, myself. Get ripped and become a better man, but don’t do it just to try to win validation from some girl who dumped you. That would be sad on many levels.

 

[user252009]

I had to learn this the hard way, myself. Get ripped and become a better man, but don’t do it just to try to win validation from some girl who dumped you. That would be sad on many levels.

Why is getting ripped good? I genuinely mean that. I know that exercise is good for us (that's why I do it), but I fail to see the reasoning behind the overused "just get ripped bro" that's constantly being thrown around here.

 

[metalwater]

depends; if we really did not deeply notice each other then we are really like a new meeting. In that case yes it can be or if WE did not have a high interest in her before and only notice her strongly now that she does us, then yes.

If we really already had gotten to know each other before and had some negative stuff, then no. She might change her whatever about us, but we will always remember the rejection. It is broken forever from our side. We can never trust one that rejected us no matter how or what they do. It is buried in the deep subconscious. might make a good date, but not a forever mate.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

She can’t forget how you were pre-“transformation.” They have long memories.

^^^ THIS ^^^

Classic example happened for me...
I lost 95lbs after getting out of a (VERY) long-term - Took about 9 months and in that time, confidence etc. gradually soared too.
The transformation has been dramatic.
These days I have no problem getting dates (Covid notwithstanding) and moving things forward - I'm finding that having my **** sorted in my 50s, it's wa-a-a-ay easier than it was in my 20s.
Anyways... a year or so after getting my act together, I asked for - and got - a date with a woman that I had known when I was a fat, downbeat, mouse of a man - The date went nowhere.
Then a few weeks later I got together with a mutual friend (who didn't know me when I was fat)... She told me that shortly after we'd got together she had spoken with 'woman #1'... asked her WTF she hadn't taken it further, and was told that she 'just didn't see me in that way....'
It's obvious that the fat version of me had tainted me in her mind - Didn't matter that I'd turned into a MUCH better prospect.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Why is getting ripped good? I genuinely mean that. I know that exercise is good for us (that's why I do it), but I fail to see the reasoning behind the overused "just get ripped bro" that's constantly being thrown around here.

Men's testosterone levels have been 'under attack' for a few decades now.
The levels naturally sit at 10 to 17X higher than women's T-levels. The levels are low across the male population almost everywhere right now.

Tearing open muscle fibres when lifting heavy weight causes T-levels to rise dramatically in the muscle repair/build stage.

Lifting heavy weights also makes a man's baseline strength reserve higher if needed suddenly for surviving a defensive lifethreatening situation.

Testosterone will change the way a man thinks as well.
More purposeful tasks and goals will be easily accomplished.

Ripping apart muscles under lifting stress will flood more bloodflow to areas like the skin and will help maintain a glowing healthy look for yourself when you view your own image in the mirror.

 

[RickTheToad]

Let's face it: You pretty much get your one chance with a girl and that's it. She sizes you up very quickly and either there is flow and attraction or there is not. If you don't get what you want then there is no going back.

But......

If one saw a former potential mate after not seeing them for say a year and.....

If one gained say 15 pounds of pure muscle (and has a lean body), gained confidence and was generally more masculine, could there be a "re-set"/second chance?

For the record: I do not have anyone in mind and I am not hoping to try this. I am simply curious about the experiences and opinions of others on the subject.

If one works on themselves and the person then reaches out, there's no reason why she cannot be used for a lay. However, you must make her work for anything more than just a f*ck buddy. But yea, if she's open to f*cking, and you are still interested; then go for it... As long as she's the one advancing to you and not vice-versa. Must maintain frame at all times.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Why is getting ripped good? I genuinely mean that. I know that exercise is good for us (that's why I do it), but I fail to see the reasoning behind the overused "just get ripped bro" that's constantly being thrown around here.

For the record, I myself am not a gym-rat and am not jacked. I run 30-40 miles a week, keep a low-ish body-fat percentage (around 10%), eat well, and I try to lift weights using only the main compound pulls/presses. This gives me a great body that I like and that I get a lot of compliments on, but I'm not huge. 6' tall and around 160lbs.

Also for clarity, my advice wasn't to "just go get ripped...." I was responding to OP specifically asking if he should get ripped for a second chance. I was saying, "Yeah, sure, do that - get ripped, but......"

The important parts to working out are:
1. Confidence that comes from you looking in the mirror and KNOWING you look good, as opposed to relying on an external source of validation such as what a woman thinks of you (although you'll get that too if you look good but the point here is that you no longer rely on it because you simply know within yourself that you look awesome). The second half of this is the elimination of self-defeating thoughts about your appearance and your willpower, both of which destroy confidence.
2. There are many health benefits to lifting weights and staying healthy, including restoring proper hormone levels, mental changes, better performance in the bedroom, and it also helps change how fat is distributed across your body (IE less belly-fat).

I think the "just get ripped bro" advice is just meant to be abbreviated and simplified for some of the core points of red pill which is that you shouldn't be a fat lazy weak beta slob. So instead of really paying attention to what people are saying and asking, some guys just toss that out there as the solution to everything. But if you think about it from an averages perspective, most men WOULD benefit from taking the advice.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Masculinity as a concept, at its most base level, is simply a function that we use to solve our individual reproduction problem...

Femininity is, at it's core, the response to our solution.. For example, the need for their to be media that men are familiar with, but making it overtly female and if we hate that it is overtly female, it is a problem, yet their representation of our media is a response of hatred towards us, we know this.

There is this intrinsic hatred of men built into feminism, yet these ideals are just simply no match for the Higher Masculine... Instead, she sees the Higher Masculine man as way to further the ideals associated with Feminism... She wants to channel her hatred of men, through a man, like you cant make this stuff up, the cognitive dissonance is thick.

I suppose she wants to channel her hatred of a certain type of man, maybe even an individual.

Why is getting ripped good? I genuinely mean that. I know that exercise is good for us (that's why I do it), but I fail to see the reasoning behind the overused "just get ripped bro" that's constantly being thrown around here.

Men are tools for women to compete against each other with; you are ripped, so she can say you are ripped, to trigger jealousy or make her friends view her differently.

Its also the highest passive state of attraction.

Its also a function of social status for a man among other men.

It also displays that you are able to financially support this body... Good food, gym time...

This list grew quick hehe