get out of my head.

[soverign]

I met a girl. We are still in the process of getting together. We ran into each other at some parties. We have flirted with each other in real life and online. Her IL is high. I can tell because she plays with her hair and giggles. She didn't pull away when I used keno. Which is great.

However this is the first real oppurtunity for me to hook up since my divorce. I am having a difficult time getting her out of my head. I have only known her a short time, but I feel like I've been thinking about her constantly. I have tried to busy myself. I've been to the gym, I've worked on my hobbies, I've tried to read books. My mind wanders back to her. What can I do to distract myself from her?

Soverign

 

[NewMan]

there's one thing - the most important - that is not on your list.

Other pvssy.

Make sure you have other options.

Don't put your eggs all in one basket.

 

[soverign]

It make perfect sense. But then wouldn't I have more than one girl in my head distracting me?

I don't see how some DJs find the time to hit on tons of women. I work and I go to the gym and hang out with friends. I just about have enought time left over to sleep.

 

[MacAvoy]

Originally posted by soverign
It make perfect sense. But then wouldn't I have more than one girl in my head distracting me?

Once you date other women, you'll stop getting that one stuck in your head. You'll realize that you don't need that one cuz you can have ANY one of the others you have on the go.

 

[joekerr31]

my armchair psychoanalysis...

you were married, didn't work.

you meet this chic and subconsciously you're mind is analyzing whether maybe, with this one, it all work.

its human nature for hte mind to obsess over various things. i mean, if its not women its your bank account or something or other.

when the mind is confronted with things that aren't fully resolved or revealed it tries to analyze it to death to figure it out.

you may not even realize it but your obsessing with this woman probably has a LOT to do with your divorce.

the key to getting her out of your head is to no longer need anything from her. if you can wake up and be happy with whatever the day has to offer, and not desperately need somethign else, then nothing can control your mind.

think about it and i think youll find that you can't stop thinking about her because she somehow plays into all the repressed thoughts and feelings you have regarding your divorce and women.

J

 

[soverign]

Joker, I think what you said is right. My marriage ended very badly. It left me with a lot to think about as far as my problmes go. I know I have issues with women, probably steming from my mother and grandmother. I made a decision in my life to be happy, to find things i dislike and to change them. That was about when I found this site. I wasn't activly looking for anyone when I found this girl. I debated with myself if i should follow through with her. At first I wasn't, I was going to spend more time dealing with my problems. However she seems really into me, so I think i'll hook up with her and also work on my problems.

Soverign

 

[joekerr31]

ya, nothing wrong with that.

but when you find yourself obsessing about her, remind yourself that the reason you are doing so isnt her, and that in fact your analyzing your views on women in general nad your past relationships and how all that affects you.

at least then youll turn your mind towards constructive thinking and potentially discover and resolve things. versus projecting your analyzing onto this one girl.

good luck man,
J