“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Get Lost In The Crowd

iqqi

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Too many of us are trapped by our successes. We work so hard to get somewhere, to be someone, to rise all the way to the top. Some are trapped by money. Some by fame and glory. And some by their own intangible wisdom and knowlege. This is about levels, and why the top is not the last level.

Many people start off insecure, and lacking confidence in themselves. They have a low sense of self worth. They think that nobody cares about them really.

If they are lucky they begin the process of introspection. They essentially discover themselves. Their worth, their confidence, and then they become secure with themselves and their abilities. I believe in the hierarchy of needs that this is called self actualization, and it is at the top of the paramid. As if that is the ultimate goal, the last level.

For some that is indeed the last level. They are selfish, and once they have satisfied the self, they are content to be where they are at. They have no need to discover nature, or to revel in its beauty. They do not desire to solve any of life's great mysteries, or unearth any of life's great secrets. They know themselves, and their power, and that is all.

But for some, the journey is not complete. Once they are secure with themselves, they may be able to begin identifying the true nature of others. And the fundamental truths of the world itself. They begin to truly understand things. They gain wisdom.

For some this is the last level. These are the great philosophers, the great intellectuals. They sit high on top of a perch and observe the world below and learn about the nature of all mankind. We have those here at sosuave. They are wise, and intelligent, and they are safe. But they are safe.

They bestow the levels below them with their great realizations at times. They invoke admiration, adoration, idolization, and sometimes desolation. And loathing. And they rise back up to sit atop their clouds in their heavenly skies of knowledge and discovery.

Well I am here to inform you that you all sitting atop your perch, your pedestal with the light shining on you (only when you are good and ready to be awed that is), that you are lazy and scared to take the next step.

The next step, the next level, which is to fall from your skies back down to the earth. To step off of your pedestal and step into the congregation. To lose yourself in the crowd that you have risen above, and to bury yourself in the soil of the earth that you truly belong to. To take pleasure in the little things, the unimportant things that will not result in glorification.

Because you are not free. You are locked in the gilded cage you sing from. Get free from the idolization and the reality of martyrdom. Free from the confines of your self and your own mind. You will be lost in the crowd, but forever changed by the journey.

Do not study nature forever! Become one with nature once again!

You will not lose what you have gained! It will always be there. And as long as you keep it on display, above everyones heads where they cannot interact with it, then what is it really? Nothing but a museum artifact. But you are alive! And so is all of your wisdom. Do not fossilize it! Do not lecture it! Merge it into the world that you owe. Give it back. Give is not even the right word. A martyr would hold on to that word, and their martyrdom as well. Let it go! Let yourself go. Free your soul from its vessel. Do not try to hold on to or keep what is not rightfully yours alone. Because then you never really have it.

Kind of like love. But is it not the same thing? Do not strive to remain untouchable. Because then what is the point? This is something I was driving at in the beauty thread.

You will now be able to appreciate things you never could have before. You will be lost in the crowd, but not controlled by the crowd. You belong on earth.

"It's lonely where you are, so come back down..."
 

E-Z Rider

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Goo Goo Dolls...gross.

I agree with you though.
 

ManOMan

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I would agree, if I knew what you were talking about?

You start out by saying Self-Actualization is good, then bad? :confused:

Most people who are self-actualized don't look down on others, they are at peace with everything and everyone around them and VERY grounded and down to earth.
 

iqqi

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Originally posted by ManOMan
You start out by saying Self-Actualization is good, then bad? :confused:
self actualization is a level i described. it is good.

then i went on to talk about a couple of other levels, they are all good, these levels. moving up is always a good thing, until you forget to come back down to earth.

stagnation is bad.

being locked at "the top" of the levels is something i view as lazy, and defeating the purpose.

i wrote this post as someone who realizes that i am in the guilded cage right now, i am the performer high above the audience. and i can recognize those on this level.

but i have also begun to have moments of epiphany. these occur to me when i am not the shining star in the sky, but when my face is a little dirty, my clothing a little strange and haphazard, when i am basically stripped of all adornment (material as well as intangible). when i am just a part of the streets, of the crowd. something raw, something true about myself begins to come into focus.

at these times i have realizations that are so very simple compared to the intricate, complex ideas i entertained at the "higher level". it is very hard to put into words, especially since i have only begun to have these moments, this is not something i can honestly say i myself have done completely.

i have visited this common crowd, this earth, nature, humanity, this energy of just being, and i can say that this is where truth resides.

it is the same world, but different, for after such a rise of levels, and such a journey, you are different.
 

ShortTimer

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I watched Average Joe for two nights and I noticed that the chick there, like this chick here, kept talking about 'levels.' Where the hell did this come from for chicks?

Were you all secret Dungeons & Dragons players? Maybe that girl on Average Joe has a level 21 paladin using 3.5 rules kickin' it epic style with a +5 holy avenger.

Umber hulk... guarding... vorpal blade... ugh.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

iqqi

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Originally posted by ShortTimer
I watched Average Joe for two nights and I noticed that the chick there, like this chick here, kept talking about 'levels.' Where the hell did this come from for chicks?
chics didn't invent the term, or its usage here, shortypie.

what is "levels" but a word? what is a word but a tool used to reach understanding of intangible concepts and ideas?

do not focus so much on my toolsssss.
 

Mr. Fingers

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I reckon it is personal...

But one thing life is teaching me is that people have to earn their way into my hidden depths. It is one thing to get lost in the crowd and entirely another to get lost in the intricate realm of a person.
 

Big Pappy

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Iqqi,

I like the way you think. My question for you is this: Isn't self-actualization a never ending effort? You said that it was selfish to a degree -- and I do see what you're talking about. Yet, I do think that when one does what is best for one's self, one does what is best for "the congregation".

I'm not sure that if we spend our time progressing to the next "level" that we will forget about the smaller details and the beauty of life at all levels. I can certainly see how a fellow could fall into the trap of forgetting where he came from, but I don't think it necessarily has to happen.


Aren't you really just saying, "take time to stop and smell the roses?"

Or did I misunderstand?


(still, nice sentiment)
 

iqqi

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Originally posted by Mr. Fingers
It is one thing to get lost in the crowd and entirely another to get lost in the intricate realm of a person.
beautifully said!!! and i so agree. i add that to my "essay"!

when you are lost in the crowd, you are one with the crowd, you are "intricately weaved" together because you give up the notion of being different in a higher, egotistical sense. it is nothing personal, and entirely personal. it is all one and the same. but it is not the intimacy you speak of. that is indeed special to me as well.


another level, hidden and secret. like a bonus track on a cd!


Originally posted by Papdaddy
I'm not sure that if we spend our time progressing to the next "level" that we will forget about the smaller details and the beauty of life at all levels.
yes, sometimes when i have an idea i just type or write away, even if the idea is not fully evolved. before you wrote this i was realizing that as we ascend to higher levels we continuously descend to previous levels with better understanding of how to take away meaning from each level.

and we of course never forget where we come from, for each level is what shapes us, so it is always there, always a part of you.

what i am saying is that the right direction is not continuously up to the sky, to the heavens of philosophy and wisdom where you reside as a lecturer, untouchable and idolized (by even yourself).

my "epiphany", my new realization is that the origin is the destiny.
 

Donjuanpablo

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Brilliant post. You obviously have a firm sense of who you are and I enjoy reading your posts. A lot of the stuff you read here renders itself useless and irrelevant once you reach that self-actualization stage good stuff.
 

ManOMan

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Self actualization is at the top, isnt it? maybe your defintion of it is different from what I know of it

Maybe you are saying "Push beyond self actualization?"

Self actualization isnt about getting to the top and then looking down at people below you

Its actually about realizing your place in the world and your relation to both nature, society, self, spirituality, being happy and making others happy and as cliche as it may sound "To be at one with the world", Unity in every sense

:)

Its about being comfortable with who you are, acheiving every goal you have had in life, have achieved peace and understanding of everything around you, being happy with your achievenments and going to a level where you are so content in life, being free of insecurities and you have decided to make the world a better place and giving something back

Its almost like the zen buddhist mentality, where they are at peace, immaterialistic, happy with who they are and what they have done
 

iqqi

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Originally posted by ManOMan
Self actualization is at the top, isnt it? maybe your defintion of it is different from what I know of it

Maybe you are saying "Push beyond self actualization?"
ok. now when i began this post i did no research or anything of the sort it just all flowed out of me. so to answer your question i researched the Self actualization thingamajiggy. And was pleasantly surprised to find a website where they actually included the next level after self actualization, that i spoke of.

this all comes from Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and it pretty much is equivalent to the ideas i had.

Self actualization: to find self-fulfillment and realize one's potential.

this is selfish. (we automatically delegate a negative association with this word, but it is not necessarily so.) this has more to do with your self as opposed to the rest of the world.

then they went on to include, to my delight,:

Self-transcendence: to connect to something beyond the ego or to help others find self-fulfillment and realize their potential.
i described this as
These are the great philosophers, the great intellectuals. They sit high on top of a perch and observe the world below and learn about the nature of all mankind. We have those here at sosuave. They are wise, and intelligent, and they are safe. But they are safe.

They bestow the levels below them with their great realizations at times. They invoke admiration, adoration, idolization, and sometimes desolation. And loathing. And they rise back up to sit atop their clouds in their heavenly skies of knowledge and discovery.
but what was not mentioned was my final and ultimate point. one i have just begun to glimpse.

that the origin is the destiny.
this is the next level, though i hesitate to call it that, as it is the origin.
 

Snoopy

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Destiny

Strange that I come across this post just after reading about "Zen." But iqqi, how can I use this information to get chicks? Haha!
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

ManOMan

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Iqqi, did you know Maslow had a VERY DEEP hatred for his mother? He hates her with a very deep passion

I had this in a psychology class once, and he had a list of people of who were supposedly self actualized, he was DEFINTELY not self actualized

the theory is intriguing, and I have met some people who appear very content in their life and were old and happy

but my view of being the best you can be and spreading the joy is close to Maslow, but this mindset is more hypothetical

gawd, Im still having problems with making cold approaches, Im no where NEAR self actualized :D
 

Don Ronny

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This post is ironic because it preaches humility from a very egotistical standpoint.

Sounds like you need to take you own advice dude.
 
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