get involved without your own apartment

[warrior1]

This is something that just bugs me so much. I'm 21 and go to college but its a commuter college so i live with my parents. I havent been able to do anything much because i lacked a lot of confidence. It's still not that good but it's getting a bit better maybe. Since i do not have an apartment that restricts everything right? I don't even bother asking woman out because I still live in my parent's place.

I do not have a job currently but definitely will look soon. Another thing that bugs me is my parents treat me like a kid. My mother keeps saying stay home you don't have any money. My dad is sort of like her too because he worries so much. Their the type of people who will asks where you're going and even if I'm out to 2am, they call my phone and tell me to go home quickly because there's so many bad people outside. Gosh, Im 21 already and they still do this.

My mother even said when you get married, we should buy a house and have 2 floors. One floor with her and dad and the other floor me and my wife. Are you kidding me? These are the type of people that I just despise because they want to control my life even though they say we ALLOW you to do what you want. Allow?... Isn't that a right of mine? They are one of the main reasons why my life has been bummed right now. My mother keeps saying go move out, you're going to have problems like mice and nobody doing your laundry. She just wants me to be a mama's boy.

If i can get a job soon, I would assume everyone here thinks it's best for me to get my own apartment right? I never "lived" if that's the right term for it. I have been really down this whole time because I don't feel like i have anythign to live for. I want to just everyday come to my own place watch the game with a friend of mine on a wednesday night and... have friends over or get some woman and have a place to bring them home to.I just can't approach women because of the fact that I don't have my own place. I just say to myself why GAME when i don't have my place for privacy.

Would everyone agree moving out is a plus? I see no negative sides to it as long as I can pay the bills right? Are there any guys here who are in a relationship or date a lot but still live in their parent's home or family member place? If yes, how do look for fun really? How old are you?

I have a lot of guy friends who are my age and all live in the parent's place and have NO thoughts whatsoever to move out. They get no women at all and all even get nervous when talking to a girl whether their hot or not. I just don't want this to happen to me.

Comments woudl be really appreciated?

 

[Interceptor]

My advice:


Get out as quickly as you can.
I mean gather up as much money as you possibly can, and move out as if your house were on fire.
Motivate yourself with the thought that you don't have a car or a place to take a woman home to. You will have no privacy. And no respect.
You are an adult and need to live your life, not your parent's life.
Get out.
Get out as quickly as you can.
Get out as if your life depended on it.

 

[DJStrawberry]

I am 23, go to a commuter JC, and live with my parents. I just make girls take me to their place or find a friend that has his own place and utilize his pad. Ya, it would be nice to have my own place, but I love my parents and not paying food/rent is sweet right now. If a girl doesn't have her own place she is understanding of my situation and realizes I'm a student that is working on getting an education and moving towards success. Also, I've realized a lot of chicks with their own place love showing it off and feel at ease in their own surroundings. Plus, their place would be a lot cleaner than mine and smells nicer.

Don't get me wrong, it is much better not having to rely on getting her back to her place or a friend's pad, but you got to have the mind state that you are really money and it's who you are right now and that if she thinks anything less of you then it is her loss. Let me pose this question. You meet a really cool, hot, and fun HB but she lives with her parents. Is that going to stop you from gaming her?

 

[warrior1]

Wow thanks for that advice. And what you said on if your house is on fire is real good. yes i told them i need to live my life and not my parents life.

Would almost all women see it as a negative thing that a 21 year old still lives with his parents? If i was a woman, i see it as a big turnoff.

 

[warrior1]

you said:

"Let me pose this question. You meet a really cool, hot, and fun HB but she lives with her parents. Is that going to stop you from gaming her?"


Of course not! I just don't feel it works the other way around.

 

[DJStrawberry]

you said:

"Let me pose this question. You meet a really cool, hot, and fun HB but she lives with her parents. Is that going to stop you from gaming her?"


Of course not! I just don't feel it works the other way around.

Well I look at myself as an investment. The only way I am going to get where I want to get and become the man I want to become is by getting a college education and going to school. I want to become a dentist. I got a couple years of college and 4 years of dental school before I become that. Right now, the most economical way for me to achieve this is to stay at home with my parents. I have to focus all my energy on my school in order to get the grades to transfer and be accepted into a dental school. I realize that at this current point in my life, that might be viewed by some girls as a turn off...but in a few years when I am balling and making a few hundred K the tables will turn. Plus, I am a fun guy to be around and know a lot about attraction and have no problem getting girls to look past my current situation.

 

[xblitz44x]

It does work the other way around...

5 years ago I was in the same boat as you. I was 21 years old, and going to community college. I had a decent job but just didn't make quite enough money to move out on my own. I lived with my miserable parents, in their basement. Did this make me keep my junk in my pants? Hell no.

Every weekend there was a girl sneaking in and out of my basement. On more than one occasion I was banging a chick in my bed when I heard my step-father walking down the stairs. When he opened my bedroom door he found me "sleeping" in bed. What he didn't realize was that there was a hot, naked, sweaty broad hiding behind the door wrapped in a sheet.

The point is, although it's not the most convenient set-up, you can still game while living with your parents. It's much better to lose a few superficial girls to not having your own place, instead of moving out and taking on a payment that you can't afford, all in the name of some puss. Finances and your career come first.

The women who are fun, and who appreciate a great time and don't care about how much you make, or what you drive, will visit you no matter what. If you play your cards right they will love you regardless of where you sleep; as long as it's next to them.

 

[warrior1]

well i think a basement is MUCH different. I live in an apartment that just have a couple of bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom and living room. If you make ANY noise, everyone can hear it. It's not that big of an apartment. If anyone makes a noise, my parents would go and check it out.

 

[xblitz44x]

That's not the point. If you're dating a girl and going home just isn't an option then be up front with her:

"Listen, I really want to take you home, pretend to want to watch a movie with you so I can molest you on the couch but my parents are crazy and there is no room. So lets go for a ride for ice cream instead."

Grab your ice cream, make out in the car afterward and chances are she'll invite you back to her place.

 

[Serialized3]

Well, I'm 22 and I just transferred to a commuter college in my hometown. I live with my folks right now, but we're a really close but liberal family, and they treat me like an adult and really don't care what I do. I usually go out and drink, bring girls home, whatever, no problem. Most of the time when I bring girls over, the girls don't even realize I live with my folks, because we hang out on the back porch or my basement. If they ask, I tell them the truth, and they really don't seem to care.

Before this I lived on my own for three years going to university in another city, and it was a really good experience. When I moved out and started living in (and paying for) my own apartment, it was great. It gave me a really good feeling, being self-sufficient. I sort of felt like a real man, like I could handle anything that came up because I was completely caring for myself. It was probably one of the biggest steps I took towards getting more confidence in myself, and with women.

So I highly recommend you moving out. Make sure you have enough money saved up though, because small stuff like utilities, fees, cable, FOOD, etc can start to add up really quickly.

 

[warrior1]

Wow an apartment close to the clubs. That's sweet. Yea it just bugs me i can't game when i live in parents home and considered still not on my own. I mean when i was 18 it was okay, it didnt bug me. But now that i'm already 21 it gets to me. If i don't do anything sooner, i'ma be 30 and still like this. Who knows, i might even be there when i am 40 even though there are people like this.

I just didnt want this to happen to me.

 

[DJStrawberry]

i agree about feeling like a real man when you are on your own. You got to be smart about it though and put what is best for your life and future ahead of pvssy. If moving out and paying for all your bills is going to impede your progress in school as you move towards a career then I would highly advise not doing it. Would you rather be independent now and struggle and hurt your future or would you rather suck it up and pull your sh!t together and then move when you have a real job and are balling?

Another note. I find that my current situation is a quality challenge. In a way, it weeds out the gold diggers and real superficial chicks. I am also very satisfied when I pull an HB in my current situation. After I game a chick and close the deal and she starts liking me, I realize that it can only get better for me here on out. If this chick digs me while I'm living with my parents and a student, just think of the game escalation when I'm out on my own making some real cheese.

 

[ScrewIt]

if you're 21 you should be graduating by now. anyway im in a similar boat as you, I graduated this semester and I saved enough money working my ass off this year to roomie up with my buddy. Parents will be parents, they never change, you cant really blame them for caring but all you can do is move out to make a statement that you can take care of yourself. If you are moving out, i suggest taking up a job and saving up a few grand for when you do move out. jobs are jobs, its as easy to get layed off as it is to find one.

Dont let the concept of 'living at home' be the same as you cant grown unless you go away for college. I've done a lot of growing up altho living at home and commuting to college, perhaps moreso than ones that go away for college. In the end its up to you how open-minded you are to adapting to change and being independent. You can apply the same to women. Dont let living at home be an excuse not to interact with women or have a social life. If the girl gets turned off by the fact that you live at home, then she isnt for you...although it is true that most girls preferably like to see a guy who's doing something or has goals other than school and home.
When women ask me, im upfront, im working and saving up money to move out. Dont be ashamed that you're living at home, lots of people do that while finishing their college degree. What really matters is after college.

 

[DJStrawberry]

"if you're 21 you should be graduating by now. "

Is there some law that states that somewhere? People take different paths through life..that's the type of stereotypical thinking and labeling by society that fvcks people up mentally.

 

[warrior1]

I am behind in school right now so thats why. I also dont want to finish my degree the whole time staying with my parents. I heard once you enter the real world, your social life is gone. I never had a social life so thats why I want this to happen.

 

[ScrewIt]

I am behind in school right now so thats why. I also dont want to finish my degree the whole time staying with my parents. I heard once you enter the real world, your social life is gone. I never had a social life so thats why I want this to happen.

dude..if you want a social life, forget the pad and get a car, everyone will be calling you up. Besides, monthly car insurance and gas is way cheaper than the apartment.

but, if you want to get laid regularly and bring friends/girls over, stick with the pad.

I disagree, once you get out of college does your social life begin - because from there you (should) have the financial flexibility and security to do more than you please vs. being in college. the 'gone' part is when you decide to settle down and have kids.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Take 'em to a Ho-tel!!

 

[sav]

guys,

i go to college.. (u of t.. it sucks btw..) i have my own place downtown (bought fully) and i work... i can tell you this.. i could live without my own place but i would not be able to live without my car..

once agian this problem is all about sorting yourself out.. GET A JOB.. start making money... its the only way to independence... you cant ask for 40 bucks from ur parents every time you go out.. because thats quickly going to turn to 80 bucks once you find a girl.. (you'll want to pay for her, or at least be able to pay for her a little bit even if she wants to pay for herself)...

i have a friend who's the biggest pimp, has *****es hanging from him left and right and guess what, he lives at home... but guess what, he drives his own car, pays his own way, pays his own bills... he doesnt have restrictive parents though which his why he chooses to live with them..

you have to find the deeper issue here then just the fact that you live with your parents.. the real issue is is that you are STILL DEPENDENT on them.. kill that dependency and you could do that without moving out.. a big question is how would you move out without having a job.. and still being at school? ..

i recommend you get a job that you could make 200$ / week, that should keep you somewhat independent of your parents..

good luck!

Sav.

 

[DJStrawberry]

Ok..I've smoked a blunt and reread this post and my third eye has come to some realizations about this particular situation.

This is to the Original Poster. You have some serious self esteem issues man. I now realize that getting out of your house in your particular situation is your best option. I don't think it is your best option because you will have your own pad and place to bring back chicks; it is your best option because getting your own place would mean that you got a job, worked your butt off, became active, more mature, proved to your parents/yourself you are a man and stopped your self loathing. For me, I don't mind my living at home situation because I am confident in myself and feel like I got my inner game issues worked out. It is quite apparent you have serious self-loathing and confidence issues and your parents smothering complicates everything and has given you an inferiority complex. You know how they say that "it's not what you say but how you say it"? Well, it is also true that it "is not what you write but how you write it". When reading your writing it is quite apparent you have some serious self
esteem issues.

You wrote:


"I havent been able to do anything much because i lacked a lot of confidence. It's still not that good but it's getting a bit better maybe."

that is the most indecisive, non confident sentence you could conjur.

"Since i do not have an apartment that restricts everything right?"

Is that a question or a statement? Again, very unsure, non-confident, seeking approval.

"Another thing that bugs me is my parents treat me like a kid"

You sound like a kid. Show them by your actions that you are not a kid. When they give you money, do you take it? Do you pay your rent? Do you pitch in around the house? Do you fight back or let them control you via their phone calls?

"My mother even said when you get married, we should buy a house and have 2 floors. One floor with her and dad and the other floor me and my wife. Are you kidding me? These are the type of people that I just despise because they want to control my life even though they say we ALLOW you to do what you want."

it's quite apparent your parents love you to death and still baby you. Don't be angry at your parents, you only get 1 pair. They have mad love for you and will be there for you through everything. At the same time, don't have a guilt complex either. Don't feel like you have to be the perfect son that does everything they want you to. Your parents don't see you man enough yet to let go. Being a man, taking care of your sh!t, providing for yourself, and growing up will put them at ease and they will realize that you do not need to be babied. They see you as a child because you act like a child. You will not always have your parents in your life; you and them need to know and see that you are strong enough to survive on your own.

"They are one of the main reasons why my life has been bummed right now"

You obviously aren't in charge of your life. Don't blame others. Be real with yourself and take blame for not being the person you want to be. The beauty of this world and our country is that you have the opportunity to change and better yourself and climb the ladder. Stop your loathing and put that energy into bettering yourself.

"I have been really down this whole time because I don't feel like i have anythign to live for"

That is some serious **** there brother..that is some deep, morbid, depressed sh!t. I think you need to talk to someone close to you and not on an internet forum and seek some help.

 

[warrior1]

yes, i knkow i have some self esteem issues. I don't think you needed to pioint that out because I thought it was pretty apparent. I was also depressed a few years ago because of things that happened to me which is why I am down.

I was really happy before this whole thing. To tell you the truth, i was a geek back in hs but once college started, I changed a lot. Lot of my friends wouldn't even recognize me now. Then i hit a bad event in my life which is why I haven't been the same.

Also, i haven't been given any money from my parents since i was 18. Things like electronics, food and clothes are things I buy. And no, i do not ask my parents for money if i go out. I also have some money saved from working a few years ago so I am not broke.

I like to add also that whenever i stay at a friend's place instead of at home, I feel real different and free. Even my friends say why am i always real happy when that happens. I dont even have any bad thoughts in my mind because I'm away. Is there a reason then that I don't have these "sad" feelings like you said that explains why I am different when I'm away at my home?

It's that can't do stuff because I live at home now messes up my thinking which affects my self esteem which is why I am not motivated. I agree best with the poster that said he knows what i mean because this affects my "inner game" because he went through the same thing although he didn't have the other problems i had.

thanks.