Get attraction, OK. Now what?

AntoniousIV

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So I've been on a self development journey for a couple of years.
And I've gotten the physique, haircut (attraction) part down. But what now?

I work as a bartender part-time while finishing my studies. And sometimes we go to the restaurants near us to get a pack of beer or something that we don't have.

I've been going to multiple different restaurants and most of the girls give me IOI's, but the problem is my mind goes blank.

I had a situation where all the waiters were serving a table and I was alone with the cute bartender which was giving me ioi's but my mind was blank. And I didn't say anything.

This also happened a few weeks ago to a girl who still gives me IOI's but my mind is blank.

Edit 1:
I forgot to say, I get ideas of what to say afterwards, like (Do you go out in this city? , let's go together. etc)

Any advice?
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Any advice?
Sure, figure out why your mind goes blank.
Does it always go blank when you want to talk, or just when you want to talk with the objective of getting between someone's legs?
 

CornbreadFed

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My true red pill vs fake red pill topic addresses this. If you were attractive enough to these girls then they would do most of the work and throw you slow softball pitches. Your blank mind would be non existent because they would be talking to you instead.

You either need to:

A). Self improve more to overcome your lack of game, bug this depends on where you are in the smv ladder. If you are a 7/10 then yes if you are below a 7 then see below.

B). Approach different types of women. Maybe you just aren’t attractive to waitresses and bartender women because you wouldn’t be struggling if you did. These women like a certain type of man or like the captain save a hoe beta male that bails them out. I assume you don’t want to be the latter, so I’d put yourself out there to different types of women.

C). Study game aggressively and grow a pair to approach women. This not my favorite because I prefer to work smarter not harder, but sometimes it’s necessary. Since you approach women in similar industries it should be easy to relate to them. Bring up some bullcrap commonality complaint to get her talking.
 

Foe

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Think of looks like creating a good net, you can capture allot of potential candidates but unless you know how to whack them on the head you might as well let them go, pointless letting all those nutrients go to waste.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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It's the second option.
In that case, if you have no problem having conversations with people you're not attracted to, is to de-pedestal these women you're tongue-tied with. Figure out why you are pedestaling these women and stop seeing them as 'above you' and yourself inferior.

Also, don't try to impress every fvckable woman but relax so you can have some light banter.
 

AntoniousIV

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A). Self improve more to overcome your lack of game, bug this depends on where you are in the smv ladder. If you are a 7/10 then yes if you are below a 7 then see below.
Don't some girls want to be pursued a little in the beginning?

B) Approach different types of women. Maybe you just aren’t attractive to waitresses and bartender women because you wouldn’t be struggling if you did. These women like a certain type of man or like the captain save a hoe beta male that bails them out. I assume you don’t want to be the latter, so I’d put yourself out there to different types of women.
What do you mean by the save a hoe analogy, how am I saving them in this contex?
 

AntoniousIV

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In that case, if you have no problem having conversations with people you're not attracted to, is to de-pedestal these women you're tongue-tied with. Figure out why you are pedestaling these women and stop seeing them as 'above you' and yourself inferior.

Also, don't try to impress every fvckable woman but relax so you can have some light banter.
I don't think that I have oneitis for them.
Maybe I should change my objective from trying to go on a date with her to having fun in the moment?
 

AntoniousIV

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Think of looks like creating a good net, you can capture allot of potential candidates but unless you know how to whack them on the head you might as well let them go, pointless letting all those nutrients go to waste.
Yeah, I completely blanked out and kinda created distance. I should've stayed and talked about something neutral.
 

CornbreadFed

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Don't some girls want to be pursued a little in the beginning?
They only want to be pursued by guys they have enough interest in to put in the secondary lineup zone, but not in the starting lineup zone. The guys they have the highest interest do not have to lift a finger because the girl outs in 99% of the work for. If they find you ugly then they just say" awww that's cute, but I have a boyfriend" or call you a creep.

What do you mean by the save a hoe analogy, how am I saving them in this contex?
Girls in the service industry are notorious for making hypergamous decisions and hitting the wall early by having multiple kids out of wedlock or becoming stale bread after being ran through by so many Bad Boys. After they give up chasing Chad and Tyrone, they usually settle down with a captain save a hoe beta male to save them from their past mistakes. This is why these girls are the primary punching bag for the Red Pill & Manosphere communities.
 

BaronOfHair

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I've been going to multiple different restaurants and most of the girls give me IOI's, but the problem is my mind goes blank.

I had a situation where all the waiters were serving a table and I was alone with the cute bartender which was giving me ioi's but my mind was blank. And I didn't say anything.
Waitresses and bartenders put on fun, flirty personas with EVERY guy who walks into their establishment. Not to be a killjoy, but simply candid: Your interpreting the affectations of these broads as them genuinely lusting after you is no less absurd than the typical American voter thinking "The candidate I'm voting for cares about me!!!", the minute said candidate starts regurgitating talking points the voter themselves has desperately clung to for f-cking decades
 
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Rainrain

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The next step is the social aspect of game, which involves interacting with other human beings. This involves doing small talk, reading body language, have interesting topics to talk about, and heaving a good attitude. It is important to know that you should be talking to everyone: other men, kids, women, etc. This will give the impression that you are a high demanded person and elevate your status.

With all these IOIs you were getting, a simple “hello” would have worked. Maybe the “you come here often” to the waitress would have been cheesy and funny, and maybe the conversation would have transgressed to your last vacation trip, type of alcoholic beverages both of you like, or the benefits of your breakfast smoothie.

When you have enough confidence and experience, you have 2 options with women:


1. Be polite. Exchange numbers. If she has high interest she will text you first and make your life way easier.
2. Act interested. Exchange numbers. Take her out, kino, escalate, show her a good time, impress her, etc. This is medium to low interest.
 

Gamisch

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So I've been on a self development journey for a couple of years.
And I've gotten the physique, haircut (attraction) part down. But what now?

I work as a bartender part-time while finishing my studies. And sometimes we go to the restaurants near us to get a pack of beer or something that we don't have.

I've been going to multiple different restaurants and most of the girls give me IOI's, but the problem is my mind goes blank.

I had a situation where all the waiters were serving a table and I was alone with the cute bartender which was giving me ioi's but my mind was blank. And I didn't say anything.

This also happened a few weeks ago to a girl who still gives me IOI's but my mind is blank.

Edit 1:
I forgot to say, I get ideas of what to say afterwards, like (Do you go out in this city? , let's go together. etc)

Any advice?
Looks money status are vital, but as you've noticed: it only half the battle for SOME men.
Salute for making the thread, will be helpful to a lot of men myself included.

As you say, the LMS is now just 25% of the battle.

It comes down to having the balls to go after what you want. You lack those. Anything else becomes obsolete when you lack those.

As long as you lack those they will count for 75% of what's missing. Even when you get a mansion and a German car you will still miss 75% BALLS.

Nobody will do this for you. Nobody (especially women) dgaf as long as you're unable to figure it out for yourself.
 

zekko

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It's the second option.
I used to freeze up around pretty girls, it was very frustrating. Not the same, but similar to your situation. Basically you need to desensitize yourself some. Force yourself into interactions with these girls and start with some light flirting and then as you get used to it slowly amp it up. Baby steps if you have to.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Waitresses and bartenders put on fun, flirty personas with EVERY guy who walks into their establishment. Not to be a killjoy, but simply candid:
This. Remember. The flirtier they are, the bigger the tip.
If you are good looking enough for these ‘professional flirtations’ to be ‘real flirtations’. You already know it.
But focusing on Waitresses/Bartenders (which I have dated many). A few ‘Tells’.
Do they ask a lot of probing questions?, Do they compliment your looks? Do they give you free food or drinks? Do they ‘hang out’ in your vicinity? Are they giggly & giddy? Do they focus on you rather than they guys you’re with?
Sometimes, your buddies might catch what you miss. Two examples.
1) My friends and I would go to a cafe once a week & play cards. The cashier was super flirty with me. My friends said: ‘You better ask her out or she’ll think you’re gay.’
2) My Hapacel friend and I were at a brewpub. The waitress, who was really young was very friendly & flirty. She hung out in our area slowely washing tables and smiling in our direction. My friend said: ‘she’s hanging out here because she wants to talk to you.’. I said. ‘How do you know.’. He replied. ‘She’s been hanging out here doing nothing and she flouncy around you.’.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Looks money status are vital, but as you've noticed: it only half the battle for SOME men.
Salute for making the thread, will be helpful to a lot of men myself included.

As you say, the LMS is now just 25% of the battle.

It comes down to having the balls to go after what you want. You lack those. Anything else becomes obsolete when you lack those.

As long as you lack those they will count for 75% of what's missing. Even when you get a mansion and a German car you will still miss 75% BALLS.

Nobody will do this for you. Nobody (especially women) dgaf as long as you're unable to figure it out for yourself.
I would argue Looks is 75%.
 

CornbreadFed

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This. Remember. The flirtier they are, the bigger the tip.
If you are good looking enough for these ‘professional flirtations’ to be ‘real flirtations’. You already know it.
I’ve been left a lot of numbers on receipts before. I can tell the difference between being flirty for a bigger tip or she likes you. In addition, I’ve had people get jealous and tell me that she just wanted a tip when the signals were obvious as day. Service workers are skilled sensors and they can sense a good and bad tipper like a scent hound. A waitress won’t put much effort in to a guy she perceives as a bad tipper for sure.
 

Gamisch

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I would argue Looks is 75%.
If your mind(set) is right it definitely is. But when it ain't..a man still needs at least two cojones and not be completely autistic living just in his own insecure mind.

I do agree that your face has to be somewhat hypnotizing and women should be somewhat mesmerized when they see you.
 
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