Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Gender Struggle Escalation

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,635
Reaction score
180
Age
44
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Is it out of control??

Men trying to "get over" on women, women trying to "get over" on men. The power struggle seems like it's escalating out of control.

The "classic family" has the man as the authority of the household and a woman more as its vision.

At some point, men started regarding women as the "inferior" sex and began taking them for granted. In some cases, they abused them or treated them as property to be exchanged for things like money or political favors.

Then there's the backlash...the feminist "girl-power" movement, where women began to leverage their own sexuality as a way to get "one-up" on the men. But in a way, the "feminists" became exactly what they were trying to destroy. It wasn't enough to live "with" men, they had to live "over" men, as men had lived "over" women. With feminism came this constant brinkmanship, formerly the domain of aggressive men, and this "adversarial" relationship where each gender is trying to prove its own worth in front of the other.

And then there's this forum.

This whole "PUA subculture" seems more and more like a reactionary backlash in the OTHER direction...a "masculist" movement. Feminism focused not on gaining rights for women, but on making them equal to men, either by putting women up or (unfortunately, more often) putting men down.

Society embraced it to the point where men are portrayed everywhere as lost doofuses, completely beholden to a "smarter, wiser" woman directing things behind the scenes.

The more I look around this forum, though, the more I see the same things in what I'll call the "masculist" movement. This desire to blame women for the sad state of the romantic power-struggle, the same way feminists blame the men.

I don't know how many threads I've read JUST TODAY where I've seen some link posted to a mainstream article or current events example that suggests that men "ain't what they used to be". What's the reaction? "Well...uh...what about the feminists!! THEY MADE us this way! We're just reacting to all their BS with marriage and relationship domination and their Cluster B psycho personality disorders..."

You know why so many Western women are crazy? It was their way of striking back at a perceived male superiority complex. I'm not saying that it was done on purpose, to maliciously put women down, but it was done. So women taught their daughters a new set of rules to play by. The brinkmanship escalated. Dating was no longer a simple system...it started becoming a war.

Men feel sleighted now...and rightfully so. But what's NOT so "right" is the feeling that MEN now need to retaliate BACK against women.

All of these "PUA guidelines", these mind-games that are encouraged on this forum, this push-pull, power-struggle nonsense, all gauged in a way to gain CONTROL from women, the same way women try to CONTROL men...isn't that "stooping to their level"?

In our quest to "win" the battle with "crazy women", have we become "crazy men"??

Are women now looking at MEN and thinking about how "crazy" and "entitled" and "cluster-B" WE all seem sometimes? Is the "masculist" movement being regarded as an insanity equal to that with which we regard feminism?

Is that going to encourage them to change for the BETTER? Or will they just ESCALATE the level of emotional conflict even FURTHER??

And is this REALLY what EITHER men OR women want??

Do you really want to DOMINATE women? (I mean, in bed...but other than that... :D ) Is it really essential for us to establish ourselves as the "better sex" by shaming women for being women and trying to develop strategy to "get one over" on them? Or are we just trying to survive in the "dating game" while searching for fair companions with caring, nurturing, and supportive feminine virtues?

Do women really want to DOMINATE men? Or are they just trying to survive in the dating game until they can find fair companions with ambition, self-respect, and honor?

Are men and women really two warring tribes with such bitter resentment toward each other that they are beyond a diplomatic compromise??

When I first started out on this forum, I read a lot of articles that suggested that this was as much about "attracting a woman" as about "being a better man" and that women should appreciate what men were becoming because developing our masculine virtues better honored and complemented their OWN feminine virtues and gave them "men worth dating".

I don't know if this website or this community is turning out "men worth dating" any more.

I feel like it's starting to teach a sort of respectless adversarial relationship with women. Sure, you have to avoid putting yourself in a position where anyone, especially a woman, can take advantage of you. But the focus has shifted from "avoiding" crazy or no-good women and more toward "winning the battle" with them...the only end to which is that you have to sink to their level.

Worse...it starts to regard ALL women as "crazy, entitled, self-centered Cluster B headcase b!tches". That may be a "safe" way to go through life, but 90% of the women out there would LOVE to just set aside this bitter rivalry if men were willing to do so as well...then we could all step up and be better people.

As it is, we have two genders, male and female, constantly at arms against each other in some kind of sexual civil war, both sides just hoping for the day when we can put the guns down and embrace each other again, but neither side trusting the other to want to do the same.

Is there no room for peace?

Sun Tzu once said that "conquerability lies with the enemy, but unconquerability lies in the self". So it begs the question...why, when all we want to do is enjoy the company of a special woman (or women, in some people's cases), and all women want to do is enjoy the company of a special man, can't we lower our guards and work our way through the TRUE "crazies" in the dating world to find our way to each other??

I think it's because we don't have confidence in ourselves.

We need to PROVE that our gender is superior, and get the other to acknowledge it, because deep down, we truly don't know. Men AREN'T confident in their masculinity, and women AREN'T confident in their femininity. So they have to stay "at arms" until they conquer and destroy the "threat". Deterrence and brinkmanship, indeed.

We, as a gender, can no longer "love and lose" without losing a piece of ourselves. Why is that? Why is it so important to "win every time"? Is it the video games? Why are we so insecure that defeat causes us to despair, instead of learning? Why does a failed date or failed relationship cause us to either lash out at women or turn our anger inward on ourselves? Why does there have to be a "winner" and a "loser"?

It wasn't always this way. Before, you just learned a little better what YOU wanted out of life, what you DIDN'T want, and used that knowledge to determine what situations you put yourself in, what kinds of people you associated with, and what experiences you exposed yourself to.

Now, anything short of total victory means "the terrorists win". Romance is no longer exciting, it's discouraging and draining. Why are men no longer men? Because men don't know what it MEANS to be men any more. To them, "being a man" means fighting an endless battle that he cannot win and then being forced to blame someone for his loss...usually himself. Easier to just curl up on the couch and play video games.

Contd...
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,635
Reaction score
180
Age
44
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
...contd...

You want the answer to masculinity? It's not in how many days you wait before calling a girl, it's not in some "c0cky-funny" brinkmanship game, it's not in screwing with her head and passing her "sh!t-tests". It's CONFIDENCE and DEDICATION. It's declaring, "this is the person I WANT to be", and sticking to it, and believing you can be that.

You want to be the kind of guy who can go talk to that cute girl? GO TALK to her. Don't be ashamed. Don't question whether you're in "her league". Just go talk to her and see what happens. Chances are she's WAITING for a guy to be "real" with her, so she can lower HER OWN guard and let you in.

Will you get the "sh!t tests"? Sure, you might...but you have to see them for what they are and not BEAT them, but refuse to even ENGAGE in that brinkmanship. THAT'S how you answer "sh!t tests". You realize they're vapor...they can't hurt you, and you make it clear that you have better things to do with your time than get into that war. You DON'T throw your OWN "sh!t-tests" in return. What do you think the feminist lines are calling these "PUA/DJ tactics", as you call them? You guessed it..."sh!t tests".

I've been trying...trying for about ten goddam years now...to replace genuine belief and confidence in myself and genuine discipline and determination with some bullsh!t system preached by websites like this. Did it get me laid? Sure! But it also got me a lot of heartache when I discovered that this ISN'T what women (people in general, really) wanted in a friend or a lover. It's just confusing and stimulating enough to keep them hanging around, despite their desire to break free. It's a mind-f*ck art. This is the "dark side" of the Force.

The "naturals" never had to do this. What makes them "natural"? Why do people gravitate toward them? Everyone on this forum knows at least 2 or 3 people who people genuinely gravitate toward. Ask yourselves...do THEY think "all women are crazy b!tches"? Do THEY need to arm themselves and constantly conduct social power struggles?

Or do they just KNOW who they are, KNOW what they're worth, and express the confidence of "real men"? Do they only give out with the intention of calling in favors...or are they generally "pay-it-forward" kinds of people? Do they feel the need to "win" when others engage them in social battles...or do they just see your feeble game for what it is and leave you to it?

Think about this "game" for what it is. Think about who YOU are, and who YOU want to be. Not who you HAVE to be. You don't have to be ANYONE you don't want to be.

That's what I meant when I said a little while back...don't let this stuff consume you. It consumed me. You saw the results...depression, anxiety, instability, personality disorder, all centered aroudn a lack of faith in the human race, stemming from a projection of a lack of faith in myself.

No more. I'm done being that person. I owe myself better than that. I owe the people I love better than that. Can I change overnight? I dunno...I'm gonna give it a shot though.

I'm done fighting these wars for superiority, though. I'm done having "something to prove"...only God can judge me. I post enough in the "Mature Man" forum...maybe I need to re-discover what that term means for a change.

And maybe I'm not the only one.

Peace.
 

PokerStar

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
635
Reaction score
63
Location
Location
maybe this is the step into the next level of your evolution.

A martial arts master once said - power without perception is virtually useless and therefore of no true value!

you have the knowledge(power) coupled with your new perception on life will lead you to your promised land.

now grab life by the balls and make your life the best possible.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,643
Reaction score
571
Location
monrovia, CA
do you are so gifted with words it's ridiculous


I would like to add to this, though it won't be as equilant as what i just read.


I equate everything to horse racing and the gym, because well that's what I do all day lol.

You go to the gym, you are overweight. You have a goal. Your goal is to be in shape. You start off, skimming the top of the gym / exercise world, listening to any fad you can find. Don't eat meat in the day time, eat nothing but bananas, drink water in the day eat whatever you want at night, slim fast, south beach, blah blah blah.. yet you are still a fat ass, though now you are a depressed fat ass. You were better off just being fat than you are now, now you have physical and mental issues.

Then comes the next part, where on a subconscious level, you start making excuses for being fat. It's in the family, or "a person should love me for being me" or "so what if i have a few pounds it's my body". The more you do this the more bitter you become and even though you are tryign to make yourself feel better, in the end, the worst you feel because deep down you are lying to yourself and you know it.

You start to hate skinny people. You start to hate guys who you like who don't like you. you loathe the ***** that can go to red lobster 3 times a week and not gain weight.

One day, you wake up, fat as hell, and just mad at everyone, men, women, fat people, skinny people, doesn't matter, and you ask yourself... who am I really mad at? Those people, lol, really don't give a **** if you are mad at them or not. you are mad at YOU.


That is NO different from this site, and squirrels, I think you have finally hit your "Evy Hammond" moment so to speak where you finally get it.

There is only ONE way to skin at cat in this game. And you start, by taking out the guts and replacing them.

You have too many guys here.... no, let me rephrase that. The mistake, that I see with the site now, is that there are basically too many posts telling guys they aren't the problem, that they are fine, when in reality they aren't. You aren't an attractive person (not just looks). What exactly do you bring to the table that would make a woman see you as a viable candidate? Why are you looking for a woman, a very attractive woman to date you and bring nothing to the table whatsoever?

Anti-dump's machine (that's old school for you) is one of the best posts i have ever read here and I used it verbatim when i was spinning plates, but it only works if women desire you (as stated in his post). You have to be desireble!

Half the guys here wouldn't date themselves or find themselves interesting yet wonder why an attractive woman with viable options wants nothing to do with them.


What am I getting at?


BECOME THE PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO BECOME!
GET THE FVCK OFF THE WEBSITE, TAKE A PIECE oF PAPER AND A PEN, WRITE DOWN THE PERSON YOU WISH YOU WERE, WRITE DOWN THE THINGS THAT PERSON DOES, WRITE DOWN HIS ACTIVITIES, WRITE DOWN THE TYPES OF CLOTHES HE WEARS, WRIT DOWN WHAT HE DOES FOR HOBBIES, WRITE DOWN WHAT TYPE OF AMBITIONS HE HAS, AND GET THE FVCK TO WORK!


I have a 3 MB excel file with about 100 different sheets with various parts of my life that I read every morning when I get up. From the type of clothes that I want to buy that i don't have, to the things i want to accomplish each year from now from now until 2015 (and i start a new on every year).. if i want something longer term i write it down and see which year is most viable, put it in there, read it every morning. My 2012 list has 100 various items in it. I have a list of different foods I want to learn how to make. I have a list of misc **** that i would like to own. I have a list of names that i keep for horses I will eventually own. I have a list of books that I will read/buy (I am out of space for books), i have a list of music albums/vinyls (yes I have a vinyls player) that I don't have (I have possibly the biggest actual bought music collection on this forum, over 3000 cd's and 500 vinyls), most are in the basement. I play video games, love them, i have a list of video games that i want to play / beat. I have a list of things I want my son to have and things i want to do for him / places i want to take him. I have a list of places I want go o vacation at, and where i am going to do when we get there. I have an entire folder, that takes up an entire portable 100GB external hard drive, full of brain storm documents business ideas and plans for my company / websites I'm building.

A woman, is either "down" or she isn't. I'm going to be the man i'm going to be with or without her. I'm no less a man without a woman than I am with.

And you know what, i've done probably 10% of everything I want to do in my life, and I think i am the baddest mother****er on the face of this earth. I love myself. It's not the goals, it's waking up everyday, looking over your list of things you want to do and who you want to be, and busting your ass on a daily basis to become that person. I become more and more interesting and describable on a daily basis.

It's not all about cars and looks. Hell 2 weeks ago, my wife calls me, she found a freaking 20 dollar vinyl of Sonny Rollins plus 4, happy as hell. She's "bought in" to the dream so to speak. 20 dollars for the vinyl, a freaking 15 dollar bottle of Maipe Cabernet Reserve 2009 once Joseph has gone to sleep, and we ****ed like rabbits all night long. 35 freaking dollars, and I had the wine on hand already so really 20 dollars, and she thinks i'm just the most romantic mother****er on earth.

That was my euphemistic moment on this site. That when I came here, on the real, i was lving with my mom, with a beat up car, waking up at noon, playing video games until I had to pick up my oneitis and maybe hope for a hug from her in which i went home and jacked off thinking about her, waiting on her to call me again, while i burned video games for money for clients. This was my life. You could tell me to "be a man" or I could knock off as many women as the law would allow but i wasn't going to ever be happy and thus no woman was ever going to stick around, because i had nothing beside a cute face to offer a woman, and when a man has nothing to offer a woman, he starts making up for it with AFC behavior. AFC behavior in reality is default behavior if you think about it. It's the default behavior when you have nothing else.


When you achieve goals on a daily basis, you will find the confidence to talk to a woman because your self esteem is not tied ot the outcome it's tied to your goals. People have trouble approaching because their self esteem is tied to the outcome.

When you achieve goals and strive for goals to become the person you want to be, your self esteem is not wrapped up in a woman, in her **** tests, in her flakes, so you will tell her to get to steppin with the quickness if need be.

You actually start demanding things out of women besides them looking good in a skirt.

Alot of the posts on this site, are taken care of with action with ones self.

You don't have to be a millionaire. You don't have to want to be a millionaire. you don't have to want to be a business owner. whatever it is YOU want to do, to thy own self be true.

What are you doing today to become the man you are supposed to be, the man you are destined to be? Who ARE you supposed to be?
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
8,563
That's quite a lengthy post, squirrels, but I honestly don't think that there's a word in there that I don't agree with.

squirrels said:
Are women now looking at MEN and thinking about how "crazy" and "entitled" and "cluster-B" WE all seem sometimes? Is the "masculist" movement being regarded as an insanity equal to that with which we regard feminism?
I had a similar thought when reading the recent thread by Knight's Cross - the one where he had met a thin girl who had taken off a lot of weight. He immediately dropped the girl when he found out she used to weigh 200 pounds. She had taken it off, but because she USED to be fat, he dumped her. He thought maybe she might have a propensity to regain the weight.

I didn't jump in on that thread because he can date whoever he pleases. But it crossed my mind that a lot of guys here have the same "entitled" mentality that we accuse women of having.

squirrels said:
I've been trying...trying for about ten goddam years now...to replace genuine belief and confidence in myself and genuine discipline and determination with some bullsh!t system preached by websites like this. Did it get me laid? Sure! But it also got me a lot of heartache when I discovered that this ISN'T what women (people in general, really) wanted in a friend or a lover
I came to this forum pretty late in life, and I've remarked a few times that I've never had any great "epiphany" here that a lot of guys seem to have. I've found some things useful, mostly inner game stuff, but I've had no great "revelation", no great moment where I felt I had pierced some sort of "matrix".

I think the reason for this is that most of what is really true and useful here are things that living life and dating already taught me. Of course I had never really organized and collected all the information into one place if you know what I mean, hadn't really crystalized all the individual bits into one big whole.

But a lot of the young guys come here and it's like it becomes a religion of sorts for them, and they buy into the whole package, and almost worship it like it's some sort of holy truth. But a lot of the stuff here ISN'T so useful. All of the game playing which seems effective on a superficial level - it actually keeps you from achieving a true intimacy with someone.

And while a healthy skepticism of the opposite sex is a good thing, it's bad when it moves beyond realism and into misogynism and bitterness. It appalls me to hear guys hear speak of women as if they have no value other than what's between their legs - guys who see them as nothing but cvnts, literally.
There's a lot of good stuff here, Squirrels, but as you note, there's a dark side as well.
 

scrouds

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Messages
1,241
Reaction score
42
Location
Orlando, fl
I would like to cite from a rather unsuspecting source, roberts rules of order. One of the more strongly worded sections of the entire manual is a warning against a practice of "co-presidents". See, they never work right, and usually never work good. Someone should be in charge. Equality is bullsht, basically. Men need to reassert themselves and claim dominion over women. A masculine headed society pushes itself forward.

Look at haiti. Good example of a matricarcal system. How's the earthquake recovery still going?
 

AlNess

Banned
Joined
Sep 6, 2011
Messages
88
Reaction score
9
Location
NJ
I can't disagree with the OP. Quite frankly, this "war of the sexes" is quite...exhausting. It's become a d!ck-waving contest between the two.

While there ARE things we do need to look out for, at the same time, I think some things are just over-analyzed and over-intellectualized. Furthermore, for all the idiosyncrasies women are commonly known for, we men also have some of our own -- let's not lie. To be honest, we DO see lots of bitter men here who DO see women as "the enemy." I wouldn't be surprised to find out some guys who have read some posts on SS have come to think of this forum as a He-Man Woman Hater's Club of sorts, that also reeks of anti-marriage sentiment in spots. If you look hard enough, it could even begin to look like Cosmo for Men.

I don't think all of these issues with females and masculinity should be THAT complex.
 

Tazman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Messages
1,286
Reaction score
30
Age
45
I believe men have always been men and women have always been women.

Equally opportunistic.

We developed roles that furthered our survival, the sexes have always been complimentary in that way. Do you think men just decided one day, out of the blue, that women weren't worth a sh-t just because? Not that I'm implying men ever thought this way as a whole, even if some men do.

Women saw opportunity with the arrival of technology which gave them incentive to jump into the workforce and provide for themselves and improve their own mating selection. There were business owners who cashed in on this shift (in addition to this I believe there were mandates that required businesses to hire them as well). This meant that salaries for men were cut in half which used to be enough to cover a family on it's own.

Part of my job requires that I perform work at various government sites and I can't believe how many women are employed by the government. I don't have any hard numbers but my god they make up the majority I visibly see no matter what building I visit. What is the government producing? Not a damn thing, that's what. It's all clerical, administrative, bullsh-t and I can't see it lasting too much longer without the whole country suffering.

I don't place blame on any gender for the shape we're in today. I agree with the term "nature abhors a vacuum", and that's precisely what modern technology created, women simply took advantage of the chance to reduce the need to rely on men for resources in the "traditional" sense, and it has given them more leverage than they ever had in history.

However the story doesn't end there because you won't win a fight against mother nature, she always has the last laugh. The development of sites like sosuave are a prime example of how men are adapting to the current climate.

I guess my experiences have been different. Sosuave and various other resources changed my life for the better. I actually dread what my life might be like if I didn't wise up and break away from all the indoctrination and the day to day bashing of men and masculinity.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,860
Reaction score
8,563
Backbreaker said:
You have too many guys here.... no, let me rephrase that. The mistake, that I see with the site now, is that there are basically too many posts telling guys they aren't the problem, that they are fine, when in reality they aren't. You aren't an attractive person (not just looks). What exactly do you bring to the table that would make a woman see you as a viable candidate? Why are you looking for a woman, a very attractive woman to date you and bring nothing to the table whatsoever?
Good point, Backbreaker.
This goes back to what I was saying about entitlement.
Guys here are always looking at attractive women and asking "what do you bring to the table?". But so many guys here have a sense of entitlement, they think they deserve an HB9 to follow them around like puppy dogs, what do they bring to the table? What do they have going for them that hot girls would be attracted to them?

A lot of guys here have nothing going for them, but think they deserve an HB9 because they have read this forum and know what a "neg" is? And why wouldn't they think that? They're being told that all they have to do is act a little C&F and women will fall down and worship them as newly crowned Alpha Males. Come on. There's a sense of entitlement here just as bad as any woman's.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
Just read your whole posts(s). A good read.

I was just thinking this morning about how when I first found SoSuave, one of the precepts for beginners and AFCs who were too timid to approach a girl and ask her out was, "women are shy and insecure, and are just WAITING for you to talk to them and ask them out." After the many years hence, that idea seems about as quaint as a Norman Rockwell painting. Not because society has changed that much; it still rings true today. Women want to be approached - they're too shy to do the approaching and asking out, usually. In 2000, as a young man, I read that and thought, "It's true; I have to be the man and take the lead."

However, in these many years I've read many a post, many an article, and many a blog not about how insecure and shy American women are, but about how overconfident, tyrannical, conniving, and entitled they are. They need to be negged, they're taking over the workplace, they'll take half your money, etc. I suppose all of these discussions have their place as political topics or Game theory and are valuable. Maybe being shy and being powerful are not mutually exclusive properties.

Squirrels, I have thought about what you said, but I don't see myself as trying to get one over anyone. I see myself as not suffering people in my life that I don't want or need. Yeah, sometimes our egos get the better of us and we feel like we "won" a certain situation with a female. But to me the important thing is clearing all the antagonizing shyt out of your life as best you can. You don't like your girlfriend? Dump her. You don't like your job? Find a new one. Don't like being fat? Hit the gym.

So maybe there is no real utility in posting here that you won't be going for date #2 with a formerly fat chick. What's the point? If those are your standards, why post about them unless you are seeking validation? Just don't take her out again.

I personally don't see anything wrong with political debates here (including about feminism) but I don't see myself as a victim of anything but my own decisions. I certainly don't think I "won" anything against the women I've had in my life. I hope they remember me fondly as I do (most) of them. I do believe it's in a man's nature to lead and take charge. But that all begins with being your own man and finding your path in life.
 

Tazman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Messages
1,286
Reaction score
30
Age
45
It's all in how you interpret what you read here. If you lack common sense or simply cannot grasp the advice given, then sure, you may develop a false sense of self, but reality has a way of slapping people like that in the face.

I don't think guys here believe they all deserve HB9s, I don't get where that perception comes from.

There are plenty of posts criticising guys about their behavior and why they ended up in the situations they're in. Usually there are questions fielded to try and gain some insight into the lives of people who post here, but you can only go so far because we're still anonymous, with the exception of those who have met outside the forum, but even then, if you aren't around them that much it's just the same.

No one here can tailor advice to all situations for all people, if you don't get it, you may never get it. We all weren't meant to anyway.

I personally think the forum is going soft...
 

women haze

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
487
Reaction score
23
This $hit should be a sticky in the general discussion forum. It really does no justice here, besides all I have to add is this.

Opportunistic people are making money off of this war with the sexes so it would do David Deangelo no good if we stopped the women bashing , the Male entitlement etc.

I have nothing else to add, and i totally agree with squirrels.....BE THE MAN YOU ARE LONGING TO BE.
Work hard to change your reality if you are feeling sad, depressed etc..

identify what is making you this way and change it.

I have said to myself

I need to step up my wardrobe game...
I work hard at my job nothing coming out of it
I need to step up my home game..my place is a mess
I need to express myself more verbally i clam up into an introvert shy guy

I am working on changing these things Promotion i got it...
Starting to clean up my life you guys can do it too....

The point is.... that I am not blaming WOMEN anymore it's an exhausting mindset to have. I thought of a person that motivates me to be a better man ...and that is Morris Chestnut we can all work hard within ourselves and be Morris Chestnut like.
 

Zarky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2010
Messages
3,245
Reaction score
88
Location
SoCal
This whole "PUA subculture" seems more and more like a reactionary backlash in the OTHER direction...a "masculist" movement.
ehhh... if anything I consider myself more of a feminist. I certainly don't sit around b1tching about women like most guys here do, and I don't ally myself with the whole "Iron John" crowd whom I consider to be a bunch of wimpy whining betas.

I got into seduction/PU because I wanted to bang tons of women. Nothing more.
 

The_411

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2005
Messages
966
Reaction score
150
The gender struggle has always been there is just that now there's a lot more out there in terms of media that seems to suggest that women are entitled to restitution because they were repressed. Problem is just like affirmative action the ideology gets perverted because there's no way to define what is an acceptable measure of restitution and balancing. As a result people go after their self-interest abuse the "opening" they have and as a result there's a backlash.

Women have been pushing for equality for quite some time but they've passed what is equitable because they for the most part earn what men make in almost every job, but they are also entitled to child support alimony, palimony whereas in most cases men are not. Even if a man were to get these things he'd be shamed unmercifully.

That being said I'm not angry at women per se, I just disillusioned at societal behavior as a whole. Responsibility for your actions seems absent and people aren't willing to mete out suitable consequences and stick with them.
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,643
Reaction score
571
Location
monrovia, CA
Zarky said:
ehhh... if anything I consider myself more of a feminist. I certainly don't sit around b1tching about women like most guys here do, and I don't ally myself with the whole "Iron John" crowd whom I consider to be a bunch of wimpy whining betas.

I got into seduction/PU because I wanted to bang tons of women. Nothing more.
the thing is, that per say is not hard to do.
[
Assuming that you are reasonably attractive, have a reasonably good job, and reasonably normal, i can sum your goal out up in one sentence

go out and talk to more women. the more women you talk to, get over your fear of rejection, the more women you will bang.

somewhere, this site went from normal guys that have problems getting A woman or who can't get a particular woman, or can't keep a woman, to a bunch of guys who are just butthurt over women in general.



Ironically enough, as far as pure numbers go, when i was in my "prime" i wasn't on this site. the "prime" number wise came for me right after i hit 21 years old and all i did was buy a black book at barnes n noble called "how to get women" and followed the steps verbaium. I'll be damned if i didn't get women.

controlling them, getting better quality women, spotting bull****, flakes, all that's a different story. But getting women just for the sake of something to do, all i had to go was go out and try.
 

Tazman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2004
Messages
1,286
Reaction score
30
Age
45
Wow, some of these posts make it seem as though men have no right to complain about anything. You shouldn't come to a site such as this to vent your frustrations to other men, no that would be too human of you.

Everyone doesn't have the same lot in life or get dealt the same hand. I didn't absorb all the useful information I found in one visit, it took a while to see the forest for the trees. Your mileage may vary.

I don't see the point in proclaiming (implying) how much better you are then "most guys" here because you don't complain, as if you're above it all. If you're a human being you will complain about sh-t, whether it be about women, work, sports, f-cking, sh-tting, ad infinitum.

Obviously if ALL you do is complain it's by definition, counterproductive and I've not seen anyone advocate that.

However, there is one common theme that brought us all here, and I don't see the difference in anyone wanting to bang 5 or 5000 women. If you were already so level headed you wouldn't come here seeking advice/information in the first place. There's no special formula for f-cking as many women as possible, you simply ask them out and show initiative, recast your line till you get a bite.
 

wait_out

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
593
Reaction score
44
Location
Too many places at once
Squirrels have you ever heard of the Tragedy of the Commons or the Prisoner's Dilemma. Or the parable about the Frog and the Scorpion. We live in western society where winning big is idolized. You do so by fcking over the next guy (or girl). Coincidentally you could both win, a little, if you cooperate. Unfortunately in our world where nobody want to live more humbly, you both stick a knife into each others backs and in the end you both lose. We are reaping the consequences in every sphere of life from the political to the economic to the personal. In dating, this is publicized enough to make people very wary. It is overexposed big time in the MM forum since it's essentially of community of guys who once got burned in love. Probably, you realized it started to get to you. However, you are not going to change western society just because you want to live in a world where people act differently. SS is a symptom of this attitude and not a foundation.

I'm with you mate in that you got to keep balance in your life -- personally this place seems positively cheerful and well-rounded next to the dysfunctional tragedies borne out bureaucracies I've seen but the principle is the same. You can't stay in bad situations forever because it essentially will cost you your life.

"Follow your bliss" -- Joesph Campbell
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,643
Reaction score
571
Location
monrovia, CA
Tazman said:
Wow, some of these posts make it seem as though men have no right to complain about anything. You shouldn't come to a site such as this to vent your frustrations to other men, no that would be too human of you.

Everyone doesn't have the same lot in life or get dealt the same hand. I didn't absorb all the useful information I found in one visit, it took a while to see the forest for the trees. Your mileage may vary.

I don't see the point in proclaiming (implying) how much better you are then "most guys" here because you don't complain, as if you're above it all. If you're a human being you will complain about sh-t, whether it be about women, work, sports, f-cking, sh-tting, ad infinitum.

Obviously if ALL you do is complain it's by definition, counterproductive and I've not seen anyone advocate that.

However, there is one common theme that brought us all here, and I don't see the difference in anyone wanting to bang 5 or 5000 women. If you were already so level headed you wouldn't come here seeking advice/information in the first place. There's no special formula for f-cking as many women as possible, you simply ask them out and show initiative, recast your line till you get a bite.
"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- and most fools do" - Dale Carnagie


Wow, some of these posts make it seem as though men have no right to complain about anything
You are projecting yourself on the entire forum. It's one thing, to complain about how you thought a date went well and she hasn't called back, or a chick you were into flaked out on you. But you have post after post now, just lamenting women for being women, for doing the things that women do, instead of asking why they are doing them, people are taking the other fork in the road and just becoming bitter.

I don't see the point in proclaiming (implying) how much better you are then "most guys" here because you don't complain, as if you're above it all.
No one said anyone was better than anyone, again that's you projecting yourself onto the forum again. You have issues with that. You obviously think some people think they are better than you.

I have had a reasonable amount of success with women, so I try to give advice and show what works and what doesn't. As do others. Me telling a guy that this isn't the right way, this is, doesn't mean I am better or worse, I just get it. While I do admit to being a tad bit arrogant, okay more than a tad lol, it's not because I think I am inherently better than anyone, it's because i get up and work at being the best person I can be. I don't go out thinking i'm better than anyone, I go out thinking I'm the best me I can be right now.

However, there is one common theme that brought us all here, and I don't see the difference in anyone wanting to bang 5 or 5000 women.
There are lots of differences. I know hat you said was tongue in cheek but you could have used a better analogy.


If you were already so level headed you wouldn't come here seeking advice/information in the first place.
That's like, no it is, the addict who has 3 months clean going off in an AA meeting telling all the "old timers" obviously what they were doing doesn't work because if it did they wouldn't be here. That happens about once a month at meetings.


I'm going to stop.

Tazman, i like you dude, we are a brotherhood here, but dude you have issues that you need to work out and it has nothing to do with women. your anger / resentment issues are toxic. If you don't necessarily agree with the post, don't respond. Do you know how many **** ass threads I see on a daily basis I don't bother posting in? The fact that you felt that you had to come in and **** on the OP's parade says alot.
 

Strelok

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 20, 2010
Messages
923
Reaction score
44
Im sure the topic must be divided in two fields.

The first one is men and women between themselves while the second should be men and women in modern society and law system.
Because found the right woman and adopted the right mindset we can stop that "sexes war" and find a balance but when it comes of society and law we all know how it works.

Go explain a court that you dont wanna pay half of your salary because when you married your wife you two decided to be equal.

So apart the dancing all togheter under the rainbow Im afraid there are bigger problems to solve before considering a solution to be close.
There could be no balance in relationships if its a third part to have the final word.
 

Burroughs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
2,192
Reaction score
100
Strelok unfortunately most men don't consider the LAW and its impact until the blue lights are flashing outside their house. By then its too late.

And women...well women are smart, they consider EVERYTHING at ALL TIMES as it pertains to THEMSELVES..

If men don't do the same, they get what they deserve
 
Top