In my past experience, when things went well with women, they were usually cosmic (actually they still often are). Things girls say don't matter because they conform 100%. It's almost like dealing with junkies. Work, school or whatever responsibilities become secondary. The problem is that I don't like this subservience very much. It's unattractive. Yet, when I get too much push back from women who are INDEPENDENT, it's hard to gauge if it's because they don't like me or if I'm just being too sensitive. It's like going from the super obvious to the opposite!
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Gauging interest in women who legitimately have a lot going on
- Thread starter Crow
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Trail Mix-A-Lot
New Member
I don't post much. I love this forum and have been a member for some years now.
I have pretty strong convictions about the question in your post. I think with women it's pretty simple. People do what the want to do. I firmly believe this. If a woman is interested in you, busy or not, you will know it you will have no doubts.
Now I have a big ego, and it's burned me plenty of times in the past. I've held out to spend time with a "busy" woman. All the while telling myself, "Wow she must really have a lot going on..."
The truth was that she was mildly interested but I wasn't her No. 1 choice. I was the Plan B or the fallback guy.
Truth-be-told when a woman is truly interested you, you'll almost feel as if she's a touch "stalker-ish", really. Anything less shows that she is only somewhat interested.
I am casually dating a woman now who has *tons* of stuff going on in her life. Super demanding job, Scads of friends (both male and female), very active in community and local government. She is super interested in me. I'm shocked, and frankly feel somewhat smothered, by the amount of attention she bestows on me.
I'm a hard liner (possibly to a fault). If I get a Number, I'll ask a girl out one time. If she says she's busy or unavailable in any way-shape-or-form, I'm out. The end. Even if she offers up an alternative date.
-Trail-
I have pretty strong convictions about the question in your post. I think with women it's pretty simple. People do what the want to do. I firmly believe this. If a woman is interested in you, busy or not, you will know it you will have no doubts.
Now I have a big ego, and it's burned me plenty of times in the past. I've held out to spend time with a "busy" woman. All the while telling myself, "Wow she must really have a lot going on..."
The truth was that she was mildly interested but I wasn't her No. 1 choice. I was the Plan B or the fallback guy.
Truth-be-told when a woman is truly interested you, you'll almost feel as if she's a touch "stalker-ish", really. Anything less shows that she is only somewhat interested.
I am casually dating a woman now who has *tons* of stuff going on in her life. Super demanding job, Scads of friends (both male and female), very active in community and local government. She is super interested in me. I'm shocked, and frankly feel somewhat smothered, by the amount of attention she bestows on me.
I'm a hard liner (possibly to a fault). If I get a Number, I'll ask a girl out one time. If she says she's busy or unavailable in any way-shape-or-form, I'm out. The end. Even if she offers up an alternative date.
-Trail-
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Not sure about cutting her loose if she offers an alternative. By suggesting another place and another time, she is returning your invitation, and your interest.Trail Mix-A-Lot said:I'm a hard liner (possibly to a fault). If I get a Number, I'll ask a girl out one time. If she says she's busy or unavailable in any way-shape-or-form, I'm out. The end. Even if she offers up an alternative date.
-Trail-
DMSR76
Senior Don Juan
I agree with this as well. However, I will accept one 1st meeting/date counteroffer. No counteroffer... I'm out.Trail Mix-A-Lot said:I don't post much. I love this forum and have been a member for some years now.
I have pretty strong convictions about the question in your post. I think with women it's pretty simple. People do what the want to do. I firmly believe this. If a woman is interested in you, busy or not, you will know it you will have no doubts.
Now I have a big ego, and it's burned me plenty of times in the past. I've held out to spend time with a "busy" woman. All the while telling myself, "Wow she must really have a lot going on..."
The truth was that she was mildly interested but I wasn't her No. 1 choice. I was the Plan B or the fallback guy.
Truth-be-told when a woman is truly interested you, you'll almost feel as if she's a touch "stalker-ish", really. Anything less shows that she is only somewhat interested.
I am casually dating a woman now who has *tons* of stuff going on in her life. Super demanding job, Scads of friends (both male and female), very active in community and local government. She is super interested in me. I'm shocked, and frankly feel somewhat smothered, by the amount of attention she bestows on me.
I'm a hard liner (possibly to a fault). If I get a Number, I'll ask a girl out one time. If she says she's busy or unavailable in any way-shape-or-form, I'm out. The end. Even if she offers up an alternative date.
-Trail-
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Yes, true enough. ^Trail Mix-A-Lot said:Truth-be-told when a woman is truly interested you, you'll almost feel as if she's a touch "stalker-ish", really. Anything less shows that she is only somewhat interested.
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A woman with high IL will act in ways that leave no doubt. Problem is that most women take a little time (and DJ effort by you) to reach boiling temperature.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.