"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Game vs. fun time

AlwaysExcel

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Hey I have a problem for which I'd like advice. I'm trying to be a self respecting challenge while at the same time not being rigid with my game. For example, I'll go out on first or second dates on weekends if the girl lives in a city an hour away from me or I'll reveal things about myself to keep the convo flowing and stimulating. I really dig Fingers' post about shattering the limits and not being attached to rules or girls.

Anyhow, I was on a 2nd date with this girl last night and she told me about how some mutual friends are performing at a festival next friday night and casually asked if I wanted to go. Without thinking I said sure, but then told her to keep me posted because I wasn't sure what I had going on that night.

She e-mailed me tonight talking about not getting the opportunity to take advantage of me last night (I kidded her about this last night when she was buying me drinks). In the next line she immediately suggested that we get together on Friday night and watch a movie and then go to this fest, if I still wanted to hang out with her. We got very physical before when we were watching a movie. Sounds all good right?

Well, the catch is that she is having a party on Saturday night that I am definitely going to. Also, even though last night was our second date, I've partied with her and a bunch of our friends for a couple weekends in between. I'm wary of being too available and showing her that I don't have dates on both important weekend nights. I know I've increased interest with her by showing value with other girls in her presence, so I'm not trying to sabotage my game.

The problem is that I don't want to be so committed to my game that I pass up a fun time. I really don't have anything else going on that Friday night. I've been trying to reach this other girl to go on a date on Thursday night. If I do, I'll decline for Friday because I'll be too tired from Thursday. But if I can't reach the other chick what do ya'll suggest? Game or potential fun on her terms?
Thanks!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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KiInCollege

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I think you can fit Thursday and Friday with both girls. Just get plenty of rest the night before.
 

So Many Ways

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My opinion: I wouldn't worry too much about rules. I don't think it matters what you do as long as the frame is right. You're not kissing ass, right? You're not supplicating, right? You're not being needy or desperate. Just have fun and enjoy it for what it is.
 

AlwaysExcel

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Thanks for the opinions guys. I'm still tossing this around because challenge and mystery is working so well with her.

If I decide to see her on Friday night and then again at her party on Saturday night, I'll tell her that I'll let her have my attention this weekend because I'm booked solid for the 4th of July weekend.
 

DJUofS

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Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Thanks for the opinions guys. I'm still tossing this around because challenge and mystery is working so well with her.

If I decide to see her on Friday night and then again at her party on Saturday night, I'll tell her that I'll let her have my attention this weekend because I'm booked solid for the 4th of July weekend.
Are you changing your personality to be a challenge and be mysterious?

Originally posted by So Many Ways
My opinion: I wouldn't worry too much about rules. I don't think it matters what you do as long as the frame is right. You're not kissing ass, right? You're not supplicating, right? You're not being needy or desperate. Just have fun and enjoy it for what it is.
This is the best advice you will get.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

AlwaysExcel

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DJUofS, no I'm not changing my personality to be mysterious and challenging. I'm changing my behaviour, such as answering with a C&F reply when she asks what I do for work. Then when she keeps bringing it up, telling her that I'll answer seriously if she makes it to the 3rd date. It's all about being playful and teasing ie. FUN!

In that respect I am trying to change my personality. I'm trying to become more playful and less serious. I'm a very serious person and I find that this personality trait has a major downside that isn't entirely connected to women. Being too serious about life leads to becoming depressed and/or totally missing out on the magic of life.

Anyhow, I decided to go out with this girl on Friday. I didn't mention the 4th of July weekend but I told her that if she's lucky, maybe I'll let her take advantage of me.
 
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