"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Game vs. fun time

AlwaysExcel

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Hey I have a problem for which I'd like advice. I'm trying to be a self respecting challenge while at the same time not being rigid with my game. For example, I'll go out on first or second dates on weekends if the girl lives in a city an hour away from me or I'll reveal things about myself to keep the convo flowing and stimulating. I really dig Fingers' post about shattering the limits and not being attached to rules or girls.

Anyhow, I was on a 2nd date with this girl last night and she told me about how some mutual friends are performing at a festival next friday night and casually asked if I wanted to go. Without thinking I said sure, but then told her to keep me posted because I wasn't sure what I had going on that night.

She e-mailed me tonight talking about not getting the opportunity to take advantage of me last night (I kidded her about this last night when she was buying me drinks). In the next line she immediately suggested that we get together on Friday night and watch a movie and then go to this fest, if I still wanted to hang out with her. We got very physical before when we were watching a movie. Sounds all good right?

Well, the catch is that she is having a party on Saturday night that I am definitely going to. Also, even though last night was our second date, I've partied with her and a bunch of our friends for a couple weekends in between. I'm wary of being too available and showing her that I don't have dates on both important weekend nights. I know I've increased interest with her by showing value with other girls in her presence, so I'm not trying to sabotage my game.

The problem is that I don't want to be so committed to my game that I pass up a fun time. I really don't have anything else going on that Friday night. I've been trying to reach this other girl to go on a date on Thursday night. If I do, I'll decline for Friday because I'll be too tired from Thursday. But if I can't reach the other chick what do ya'll suggest? Game or potential fun on her terms?
Thanks!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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KiInCollege

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I think you can fit Thursday and Friday with both girls. Just get plenty of rest the night before.
 

So Many Ways

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My opinion: I wouldn't worry too much about rules. I don't think it matters what you do as long as the frame is right. You're not kissing ass, right? You're not supplicating, right? You're not being needy or desperate. Just have fun and enjoy it for what it is.
 

AlwaysExcel

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Thanks for the opinions guys. I'm still tossing this around because challenge and mystery is working so well with her.

If I decide to see her on Friday night and then again at her party on Saturday night, I'll tell her that I'll let her have my attention this weekend because I'm booked solid for the 4th of July weekend.
 

DJUofS

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Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Thanks for the opinions guys. I'm still tossing this around because challenge and mystery is working so well with her.

If I decide to see her on Friday night and then again at her party on Saturday night, I'll tell her that I'll let her have my attention this weekend because I'm booked solid for the 4th of July weekend.
Are you changing your personality to be a challenge and be mysterious?

Originally posted by So Many Ways
My opinion: I wouldn't worry too much about rules. I don't think it matters what you do as long as the frame is right. You're not kissing ass, right? You're not supplicating, right? You're not being needy or desperate. Just have fun and enjoy it for what it is.
This is the best advice you will get.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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AlwaysExcel

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DJUofS, no I'm not changing my personality to be mysterious and challenging. I'm changing my behaviour, such as answering with a C&F reply when she asks what I do for work. Then when she keeps bringing it up, telling her that I'll answer seriously if she makes it to the 3rd date. It's all about being playful and teasing ie. FUN!

In that respect I am trying to change my personality. I'm trying to become more playful and less serious. I'm a very serious person and I find that this personality trait has a major downside that isn't entirely connected to women. Being too serious about life leads to becoming depressed and/or totally missing out on the magic of life.

Anyhow, I decided to go out with this girl on Friday. I didn't mention the 4th of July weekend but I told her that if she's lucky, maybe I'll let her take advantage of me.
 
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