Fwb Starts **** Testing Hardcore?

[SargeMaximus]

Hey guys, hope you're enjoying your weekend.

So here's the situation:

Fwb and I been seeing each other for a little over a month. AMAZING sex and desire from both of us till recently. Recently we decided to see each other more than once a week (First mistake?) starting last wednesday.

Well last wednesday the sex was sub-par and we only fvcked once (as opposed to the time before where we fvcked 8 times in less than 12 hours). I figured we just needed to get used to the extra day.

Fast forward to last night. I started by taking her to a store I had told her about. I didn't buy her anything, I just wanted to show her the place. It has really cool egyptian statues and stuff. Anyhow she loved it then she said she was hungry so we went to a drive thru and got burgers. Before I could grab my wallet she gave me her debit card so I told her thank you and we talked about how cash or paying for things was the best gift.

When we got back to her place she finished off her burger then we fvcked but she got cramps so we stopped. No big deal, I figured just don't have sex so close to eating. All good so far. But then the **** tests started.

We were on her back deck and a guy came by with a dog she had told me about. She says "oh this is that dog I told you about!" and she begins to chat with the guy while I'm there. I thought she would just do a quick "Hey Vern, how's it going?" kind of thing but she gets into a long winded convo with the guy. So I go back inside the house. She stays out there talking to him for another 5-10 mins.

At this point I feel very discarded.

Then later we are browsing netflix for a movie to watch and she starts bringing up all kinds of feminism **** like "Oh my mom and I were watching this one movie, it's very good, it's about women making a stand against the injustices of corporate inequality" I just calmly chuckled and said "Well, to be fair, the divorce courts favor the woman so, I think there's inequality on both sides"

Then we finally picked a movie (Oblivion with Tom Cruise) and at one point he's wearing a new york yankees cap like I have and I go "oh wow, he has my cap!" and we both laughed. Then she tells me a story about how she knew this guy who was obsessed with Tom Cruise and had all his clothes from all his movies and she stopped dating him which I found weird since we just established I had the same cap as he did in the movie.

We had sex a second time that night and it was good but it ended abruptly when my d!ck went limp and she was on top and kind of bent it a bit.

Then this morning she didn't make me breakfast like she usually does and we didn't have sex. Tbh I'm kind of turned off of her atm.

So my questions are:

Do I ghost even though we have plans to meet wednesday? Or do I simply tell her "Yeah something came up I can't make it wednesday. See you saturday" and THEN ghost? Or am I reading too much into things?

Thanks guys.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

You're FWB, what are you worried about? Sounds like she's banging your brains out.

Ghost her for what? That doesn't make any sense.

Sounds like someone's catching feelings.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You're FWB, what are you worried about? Sounds like she's banging your brains out.

Ghost her for what? That doesn't make any sense.

Sounds like someone's catching feelings.

No because I read on this forum so much "don't let a woman disrespect you" and "next her for bad behavior" so I thought all this (especially her talking to the other guy during our time together) was next-worthy.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

you're not dating her, you're just banging her so just keep banging her. Im impressed she bought food.

 

[SargeMaximus]

you're not dating her, you're just banging her so just keep banging her. Im impressed she bought food.

Thanks for the perspective. Sometimes I think reading this forum makes me see issues that aren’t there. And yeah she makes me food too sometimes. It’s great

 

[SargeMaximus]

Haven't read any other comments.
First things first.
Any feminism talk. You reply. "Cool"
Or "oh yea"
Dont get into it. Ignore it.
Second. A FWB is the benefit is sex. You gave her subpar sex.
Once the sex starts to wane its time for some space.
I personally dont have sex unless im really ready to go. Aggressive sex.

Sounds to me shes about to flip. If i were you i would beat her to it unless you plan to discard. At that point who cares.
And man dude women flirt with other men. They like shining new things and dik is no different. Doesn't matter what she tells you. Its a human thing. The better women are less inclined to act on it.
Work on your indifference. My .02

I gave her subpar sex one time. But that was as much her fault as mine because she turned me off.

so what are you saying? Ghost or next her? You didn’t answer any of my questions

 

[Q-dam]

Look at yourself from a perspective: are you starting to catch feelings for her? Seeing her more and more often is indeed a mistake if you are, I was in the same boat recently and it ended absolutely f'ed up. @stringpuller is spot on about indifference and ignoring.
Sounds like she'll ghost or next you soon, so if you don't wait until she does that and ghost/next her first, you'll be the winner. I don't think you should next her right away though, try to keep yourself busy (you have work/hobbies/friends etc, don't you?) or just blatantly ghost her but it's radical and may work against you.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Look at yourself from a perspective: are you starting to catch feelings for her? Seeing her more and more often is indeed a mistake if you are, I was in the same boat recently and it ended absolutely f'ed up. @stringpuller is spot on about indifference and ignoring.
Sounds like she'll ghost or next you soon, so if you don't wait until she does that and ghost/next her first, you'll be the winner. I don't think you should next her right away though, try to keep yourself busy (you have work/hobbies/friends etc, don't you?) or just blatantly ghost her but it's radical and may work against you.

Why will she ghost me soon? I don’t get how one lousy time in bed means ghosting. No man can be 100% all the time.

im not catching feelings I’m just trying to figure out how I should respond to her recent behaviour.

I do think telling her I can’t make it Wednesday is a good idea to create space. It’s not a ghost or next but it creates space.

And no I dont have any friends. Spare me the lectures I hate people and prefer no friends.

my hobbies are working out.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Thanks for the perspective. Sometimes I think reading this forum makes me see issues that aren’t there. And yeah she makes me food too sometimes. It’s great

At least you recognize it. This forum conditions your mind to be cynical and paranoid if you're not careful.

You're considering nexting her because she had a conversation with a guy? And she didn't make you breakfast and give you sex like she usually does? So unless she does this every day it's disrespectful and won't be tolerated?

What's happening is you're trying to push this girl away before she pushes you away. It's insecurity. This behavior will repeat many times over with other women you come across if you're not careful. You need to take a break from this forum, man.

Continue to listen to the guys who sit on their computer all day with a million posts who don't get women, or take it from me... a guy who has a little over 300 posts in 11 years.

 

[SargeMaximus]

At least you recognize it. This forum conditions your mind to be cynical and paranoid if you're not careful.

You're considering nexting her because she had a conversation with a guy? And she didn't make you breakfast and give you sex like she usually does? So unless she does this every day it's disrespectful and won't be tolerated?

What's happening is you're trying to push this girl away before she pushes you away. It's insecurity. This behavior will repeat many times over with other women you come across if you're not careful. You need to take a break from this forum, man.

Continue to listen to the guys who sit on their computer all day with a million posts who don't get women, or take it from me... a guy who has a little over 300 posts in 11 years.

Wish I had read this post before I texted her that I couldn’t make it Wednesday. Seriously people like you are who I need to take the advice from.
It’s true I push people away this way often

but it’s also true that I didn’t know how to respond to this girl so my mind went immediately to next .

 

[SargeMaximus]

I don’t even think they are shyt tests. They are just statements that shouldn’t interest you. Women say all kinds of dumb shyt to see how you think or try to get your emotional responses

You are allowing yourself to be manipulated. That’s a woman’s job to facilitate survival.

Anything out of her mouth is about her. Now your attention is on her. I’m not saying you are blubbering or being a bytch or anything stupid at all.
Look at your thoughts. Did you think these things when all this was smooth and effortless? Has she injected herself into your thought patterns? This is manipulation of thought. It is really easy to fix.

She is just being a woman. So idiots just jump to the silly “she’s BPD” or something stupid for standard automated survival programming.

The solution is ALWAYS talk to her less, see her less, interact with her less. This is a social tool and is a form of innate social rejection that really isn’t rejection yet illicit’s emotional response. You learned this as a little boy. Your mother would silently ignor you or have less affection for you for some reason. This would cause you to capitulate and seek her approval again. This is a natural response. Your mother manipulated the fuk out of you with it. She got you back in line for her own support of herself.

Yeah so I texted her that I couldn’t meet up Wednesday what more can I do? And why did it happen in the first place?

 

[SargeMaximus]

I can't give you the answer. You have to decide. I'm speaking if it were me. In my experience these situations almost always need a bit of space. Space to build the tension back up.
Once you make her your focus. Its over. It just hasn't happened yet.

Yeah I texted her that I can’t meet up Wednesday. She hasn’t even responded lol. Guess that proves it. If she doesn’t get back to me at all I won’t bother messaging her either. Guess it’s over.

it just amazes me how you can have wild hot crazy sex for weeks but as soon as you take another step it evaporates like a damn mirage. How the fvck do regular guys stay with a girl beyond the first month? What am I missing here? I doubt regular guys are in the know with this stuff

 

[SargeMaximus]

Multiple women. Stay focused on your own ambitions. @BackInTheGame78 has touched on this in his recent posts.

You have to reprogram your mind when you unplug. Being indifferent doesn't mean some psycho power block. Its about going deeper into your own life and what it is about the world you value.

Dude I been red pilled since 2012. I’m not a newbie. I feel like I need advice from more advanced users

 

[SargeMaximus]

At least you recognize it. This forum conditions your mind to be cynical and paranoid if you're not careful.

You're considering nexting her because she had a conversation with a guy? And she didn't make you breakfast and give you sex like she usually does? So unless she does this every day it's disrespectful and won't be tolerated?

What's happening is you're trying to push this girl away before she pushes you away. It's insecurity. This behavior will repeat many times over with other women you come across if you're not careful. You need to take a break from this forum, man.

Continue to listen to the guys who sit on their computer all day with a million posts who don't get women, or take it from me... a guy who has a little over 300 posts in 11 years.

So what do I do now that I texted her I can’t make it Wednesday? What I mean is: how do I go forward in a healthy way in your opinion? I would much rather take your advice so school me please

 

[SargeMaximus]

Dude you are not redpilled bro. Only RP aware. Your posts and questions tells.
You posted a post in an open forum. Your thoughts and feelings about the content you get is not my problem. What i told you is top tier advice.


RP men dont feel this way. Let alone an alpha man. Shyt doesn't enter his mind.

Well thanks for stopping by

 

[f283000]

It sounds to me you spend way too much time with your fwb that sounded like you spent the whole day with her. Not only that you do all kinds of stuff

Who takes their fwbs to the store…any store? For me it’s about 99% time spent in my place or hers.

For me it’s she comes over or I go over to her place, talk a bit or have wine, then fk,then talk a little more and she leaves or I leave depending on if she’s at my place or I’m at hers.

Your report sounds more like a girlfriend than a fwb. And if you treat her like that then that’s what’s going to happen you’re going to catch feelings like if she’s your gf.

And anybody that tells you to ghost her/dump her is wrong. You let her dump you and that’s advanced game. The situation ends cleanly no drama she dumps you and you don’t give a f because that’s all she was for recreational purposes.

I follow the catch and release method by blackram313 which teaches the pump and let her dump method.

 

[SargeMaximus]

OP has oneitus for a FWB. Guys reading this post. Avoid oneitus at all costs. Its the most crippling mental focus you as a man can get. It will literally kill you if you let it.

I don’t have oneitis. You’re completely ignoring my questions and I honestly think this is more a case of reading too much into behaviour thanks to reading too much of this forum.

I’lol be taking advice from more experienced posters from now on. Thanks again for your opinion

 

[samspade]

Hey guys, hope you're enjoying your weekend.

So here's the situation:

Fwb and I been seeing each other for a little over a month. AMAZING sex and desire from both of us till recently. Recently we decided to see each other more than once a week (First mistake?) starting last wednesday.

Well last wednesday the sex was sub-par and we only fvcked once (as opposed to the time before where we fvcked 8 times in less than 12 hours). I figured we just needed to get used to the extra day.

Fast forward to last night. I started by taking her to a store I had told her about. I didn't buy her anything, I just wanted to show her the place. It has really cool egyptian statues and stuff. Anyhow she loved it then she said she was hungry so we went to a drive thru and got burgers. Before I could grab my wallet she gave me her debit card so I told her thank you and we talked about how cash or paying for things was the best gift.

When we got back to her place she finished off her burger then we fvcked but she got cramps so we stopped. No big deal, I figured just don't have sex so close to eating. All good so far. But then the **** tests started.

We were on her back deck and a guy came by with a dog she had told me about. She says "oh this is that dog I told you about!" and she begins to chat with the guy while I'm there. I thought she would just do a quick "Hey Vern, how's it going?" kind of thing but she gets into a long winded convo with the guy. So I go back inside the house. She stays out there talking to him for another 5-10 mins.

At this point I feel very discarded.

Then later we are browsing netflix for a movie to watch and she starts bringing up all kinds of feminism **** like "Oh my mom and I were watching this one movie, it's very good, it's about women making a stand against the injustices of corporate inequality" I just calmly chuckled and said "Well, to be fair, the divorce courts favor the woman so, I think there's inequality on both sides"

Then we finally picked a movie (Oblivion with Tom Cruise) and at one point he's wearing a new york yankees cap like I have and I go "oh wow, he has my cap!" and we both laughed. Then she tells me a story about how she knew this guy who was obsessed with Tom Cruise and had all his clothes from all his movies and she stopped dating him which I found weird since we just established I had the same cap as he did in the movie.

We had sex a second time that night and it was good but it ended abruptly when my d!ck went limp and she was on top and kind of bent it a bit.

Then this morning she didn't make me breakfast like she usually does and we didn't have sex. Tbh I'm kind of turned off of her atm.

So my questions are:

Do I ghost even though we have plans to meet wednesday? Or do I simply tell her "Yeah something came up I can't make it wednesday. See you saturday" and THEN ghost? Or am I reading too much into things?

Thanks guys.

I know you've had plenty of responses. But anwyay I don't see what the big deal is at all.

First, she's a FWB. So who cares. You either next her, or don't.

She has a conversation with a neighbor. Big deal. Why didn't you take part? You could have charmed them both and dominated but you went inside instead. No big deal but I don't see a conversation with a neighbor as any kind of test.

The feminism comment, big whoop. Your divorce court retort I'm sure got her thinking critically.....not.

The Tom Cruise comment is just you inside your own head. At most you could have said, "well you'd better stop dating me, too. I have his flight suit from Top Gun in my closet." But really, who cares.

And she didn't make you breakfast? Again, she's your FWB.

I think this is more your ego than anything. Shyt tests aren't real.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I know you've had plenty of responses. But anwyay I don't see what the big deal is at all.

First, she's a FWB. So who cares. You either next her, or don't.

She has a conversation with a neighbor. Big deal. Why didn't you take part? You could have charmed them both and dominated but you went inside instead. No big deal but I don't see a conversation with a neighbor as any kind of test.

The feminism comment, big whoop. Your divorce court retort I'm sure got her thinking critically.....not.

The Tom Cruise comment is just you inside your own head. At most you could have said, "well you'd better stop dating me, too. I have his flight suit from Top Gun in my closet." But really, who cares.

And she didn't make you breakfast? Again, she's your FWB.

I think this is more your ego than anything. Shyt tests aren't real.

Ok, thank you. I had a feeling I was reading too much into things. This damn forum gets to me sometimes and that happens.

I didn't take part in the conversation because I didn't want to. I'm not a social guy. Not interested in whoever the fvck that guy was.

But now, what do I do? I already texted her that I wasn't gonna see her wednesday as planned. If I'm pushing her away because of overcompensation thanks to some advice on here, what can I do?

 

[SargeMaximus]

It sounds to me you spend way too much time with your fwb that sounded like you spent the whole day with her. Not only that you do all kinds of stuff

I didn't spend the whole day with her. I spent the night and left at 8am.

Who takes their fwbs to the store…any store? For me it’s about 99% time spent in my place or hers.

Yeah but I wanted to show her the store. Is that beta?

For me it’s she comes over or I go over to her place, talk a bit or have wine, then fk,then talk a little more and she leaves or I leave depending on if she’s at my place or I’m at hers.

Yeah me too.

Your report sounds more like a girlfriend than a fwb. And if you treat her like that then that’s what’s going to happen you’re going to catch feelings like if she’s your gf.

How does it sound like a gf? I'm confused. Because I took her to a store?

And anybody that tells you to ghost her/dump her is wrong. You let her dump you and that’s advanced game. The situation ends cleanly no drama she dumps you and you don’t give a f because that’s all she was for recreational purposes.

I follow the catch and release method by blackram313 which teaches the pump and let her dump method.

Ok so same question to you then: Now that I have taken the bad advice (nexted her via text), what can I do?