Fwb Cancelled on me...

[SargeMaximus]

Basically she texted me saying she’s feeling bad today and might have to cancel.

I haven’t responded all day and don’t plan to. Should I ghost her for a week even if she reaches out? What’s the correct course here

 

[sch]

Wish her to get well soon and look for another date.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Yes but she texted me at 1:30 and I figured I should ghost so that’s what I did... should I text her that now?

 

[SargeMaximus]

Ok thanks guys. She actually texted me just now apologizing for not getting back to me and I responded. She asked for a rain check so I said “yeah it’s all good. Take care of yourself” and she’s pitching the weekend. Thoughts?

Doesn't read like you're truly treating her as your FWB. Seems more like she's treating you as the FWB.

If she's a FWB then cancelling dates shouldn't bother you. You just demote her to a "nobody" until she corrects her behavior. If she doesn't correct it then you don't think about her. The whole point of having casual relationships is so you don't get oneitis and it starts messing with your mind.

It doesn’t bother me I’m just wondering how to respond since I’m trying to improve my game.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Doesn't read like you're truly treating her as your FWB. Seems more like she's treating you as the FWB.

If she's a FWB then cancelling dates shouldn't bother you. You just demote her to a "nobody" until she corrects her behavior. If she doesn't correct it then you don't think about her. The whole point of having casual relationships is so you don't get oneitis and it starts messing with your mind.

Speaking of this tho, is it possible to have a girl as more than a fwb but less than a gf? I mean, just because I like to consider a woman as a person doesn’t mean I have oneitis does it?

 

[oOh Nasty]

Ok thanks guys. She actually texted me just now apologizing for not getting back to me and I responded. She asked for a rain check so I said “yeah it’s all good. Take care of yourself” and she’s pitching the weekend. Thoughts?

Good work. Keep in mind that your time is valuable and it's completely up to you what you allow to slide or not. Maybe it's just me, but excuses are still excuses and should be treated as such.

It doesn’t bother me I’m just wondering how to respond since I’m trying to improve my game.

Not much "game" to be done in this situation. It's simply a matter of respect for another person's time. People who cancel, whether they be dates, business, or whatever are always put on the red flag list.

 

[SargeMaximus]

The Game is if a woman pulls away, then you pull away double. If she doesn't chase then it's over.

Pursuing a woman makes her the prize and it turns her off. She wants you to be the prize and she can only see it that way if she's chasing you. This is the simple metric I use. If she cancels a date and doesn't seem too bothered about me then I just Next her.

Yeah well she rescheduled with me so it seems she’s interested. Sometimes I think you guys are too hardcore and give up on women before they give up on you

I mean like a woman can be testing you to see if you just a player or if you are more. If you act too cold she’ll give up on you whereas if you have more dialogue she’ll keep chasing

 

[SargeMaximus]

It's not hardcore at all. She contacted you and rescheduled. If she didn't do that then you next her. That's exactly the Game script I mentioned (she has to chase).

Next time she cancels a date, then you wait for her to contact you and reschedule. If she doesn't do that then it's over.

Ok I understand. Thanks for the tips.

 

[SargeMaximus]

The hierarchy is pump and dump -> fvck buddy>Plate - > LTR.

"I like to consider a woman as a person doesn’t mean I have oneitis does it?" - this is passive aggressive, bluepill white knighting that you need to remove if you want to be sucessful with women.

Of course women are people. By behaving in the way that I've recommended, you are actually giving a woman exactly what she wants. Women find comfort in discomfort, the complete opposite of men. You should really try and avoid projecting male idealism onto women. Women are not idealistic, they are realistic to the point of being almost insect-like.

Yeah I’ve always had trouble with my idealism. But given that I’ve lost girls before by listening to pua that I’m sure I could have fvcked a few more times, I’m wary of the hardline approach. Not enough to not try it but there has to be a way to still be a self respecting man without pushing the girl away. I know I’ve done this in the past by giving a cold shoulder when I probably shouldn’t have

 

[SargeMaximus]

It's not as stark as that. You don't give women cold shoulders arbitrarily. It's a process of push/pull.

Before you push, you have to pull her and build an attachment. So many guys don't get this and think it's "Just ignore her bro, and she'll chase you."

You only ignore her if she's misbehaving - this is the only effective way to manage her behaviors. If you've lost girls because of "listening to PUAs", then I'd be highly self-critical on this if I was you. You only lose a girl if she becomes unattracted to you. You lost these girls because of You, not because of PUA. PUA is just a toolbox to be used when needed.

Yeah well be that as it may, listening to pua in this regard, I have lost the girl before. So I find it hard to know how to use these tools.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You have to use PUA tools with a full understanding and RedPill awareness of true Female Nature. Losing women and replacing them with new women is the Game.

Purple Pills who use PUA tactics to achieve BluePill goals with women are going to be very disappointed.

I don’t have blue pill goals. I think you’re a bit jaded and it’s clouding your perception.

I do not want to ever get married, I also don’t want to endlessly pump and dump because I’m so socially retarded I next or ghost girls because I’m using pua tactics when it’s unwarranted.

 

[bat soup]

Basically she texted me saying she’s feeling bad today and might have to cancel.

I haven’t responded all day and don’t plan to. Should I ghost her for a week even if she reaches out? What’s the correct course here

I'd have just replied "OK".

Not replying at all comes off kind of weird, like you're pissed off about it.

That's appropriate if a girl flakes on a first date because they don't have any credit and you can assume that it's BS. But someone that has been reliable and cooperative in the past has built up some trust and it is probably worth keeping the relationship, unless this becomes a regular occurrence.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I'd have just replied "OK".

Not replying at all comes off kind of weird, like you're pissed off about it.

That's appropriate if a girl flakes on a first date because they don't have any credit and you can assume that it's BS. But someone that has been reliable and cooperative in the past has built up some trust and it is probably worth keeping the relationship, unless this becomes a regular occurrence.

Yeah I didn’t know how to respond but I see your point. Noted. Thank you

 

[SargeMaximus]

I definitely think a few posters on here are overcompensating for something. I know for a fact some advice I’ve taken in the past which has been parroted on this forum has lost me girls who I could probably still be fvcking if I hadn’t driven them away with the tactics.

we gotta be real with what we want. Do we want to lash out with our pain or do we want pvssy

 

[SargeMaximus]

I think since she apologized and offered the weekend (presumably one night this weekend and not the whole weekend), if you want to have fun with her, go for it. If you have prior plans, stick with your plans. If you want solitude, don't hang with her. The more important thing is that if she flakes again, you not be bothered (and then maybe consider that she's not serious after all). And also not do something you don't want to do because you think it will work some magic trick on her.

The key is, really, not to care that much - but without using that as an excuse not to take action, if that makes sense.

I think it makes sense. Basically just do what I want and dont be baited into supplication. At least, that’s my interpretation of game.

 

[SargeMaximus]

That and don't rationalize chump behavior. It's easy to say "I'm doing what I want" and then do something dumb. But I think you're past that level.

Thanks. I do tend towards idealism at times but generally yes I’m pretty frame solid.