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Fwb Cancelled on me...

SargeMaximus

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Basically she texted me saying she’s feeling bad today and might have to cancel.

I haven’t responded all day and don’t plan to. Should I ghost her for a week even if she reaches out? What’s the correct course here
 

SargeMaximus

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Yes but she texted me at 1:30 and I figured I should ghost so that’s what I did... should I text her that now?
 

SargeMaximus

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Ok thanks guys. She actually texted me just now apologizing for not getting back to me and I responded. She asked for a rain check so I said “yeah it’s all good. Take care of yourself” and she’s pitching the weekend. Thoughts?

Doesn't read like you're truly treating her as your FWB. Seems more like she's treating you as the FWB.

If she's a FWB then cancelling dates shouldn't bother you. You just demote her to a "nobody" until she corrects her behavior. If she doesn't correct it then you don't think about her. The whole point of having casual relationships is so you don't get oneitis and it starts messing with your mind.
It doesn’t bother me I’m just wondering how to respond since I’m trying to improve my game.
 

SargeMaximus

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Doesn't read like you're truly treating her as your FWB. Seems more like she's treating you as the FWB.

If she's a FWB then cancelling dates shouldn't bother you. You just demote her to a "nobody" until she corrects her behavior. If she doesn't correct it then you don't think about her. The whole point of having casual relationships is so you don't get oneitis and it starts messing with your mind.
Speaking of this tho, is it possible to have a girl as more than a fwb but less than a gf? I mean, just because I like to consider a woman as a person doesn’t mean I have oneitis does it?
 

oOh Nasty

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Ok thanks guys. She actually texted me just now apologizing for not getting back to me and I responded. She asked for a rain check so I said “yeah it’s all good. Take care of yourself” and she’s pitching the weekend. Thoughts?
Good work. Keep in mind that your time is valuable and it's completely up to you what you allow to slide or not. Maybe it's just me, but excuses are still excuses and should be treated as such.

It doesn’t bother me I’m just wondering how to respond since I’m trying to improve my game.
Not much "game" to be done in this situation. It's simply a matter of respect for another person's time. People who cancel, whether they be dates, business, or whatever are always put on the red flag list.
 

SargeMaximus

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The Game is if a woman pulls away, then you pull away double. If she doesn't chase then it's over.

Pursuing a woman makes her the prize and it turns her off. She wants you to be the prize and she can only see it that way if she's chasing you. This is the simple metric I use. If she cancels a date and doesn't seem too bothered about me then I just Next her.
Yeah well she rescheduled with me so it seems she’s interested. Sometimes I think you guys are too hardcore and give up on women before they give up on you

I mean like a woman can be testing you to see if you just a player or if you are more. If you act too cold she’ll give up on you whereas if you have more dialogue she’ll keep chasing
 

SargeMaximus

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It's not hardcore at all. She contacted you and rescheduled. If she didn't do that then you next her. That's exactly the Game script I mentioned (she has to chase).

Next time she cancels a date, then you wait for her to contact you and reschedule. If she doesn't do that then it's over.
Ok I understand. Thanks for the tips.
 

SargeMaximus

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The hierarchy is pump and dump -> fvck buddy>Plate - > LTR.

"I like to consider a woman as a person doesn’t mean I have oneitis does it?" - this is passive aggressive, bluepill white knighting that you need to remove if you want to be sucessful with women.

Of course women are people. By behaving in the way that I've recommended, you are actually giving a woman exactly what she wants. Women find comfort in discomfort, the complete opposite of men. You should really try and avoid projecting male idealism onto women. Women are not idealistic, they are realistic to the point of being almost insect-like.
Yeah I’ve always had trouble with my idealism. But given that I’ve lost girls before by listening to pua that I’m sure I could have fvcked a few more times, I’m wary of the hardline approach. Not enough to not try it but there has to be a way to still be a self respecting man without pushing the girl away. I know I’ve done this in the past by giving a cold shoulder when I probably shouldn’t have
 

SargeMaximus

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It's not as stark as that. You don't give women cold shoulders arbitrarily. It's a process of push/pull.

Before you push, you have to pull her and build an attachment. So many guys don't get this and think it's "Just ignore her bro, and she'll chase you."

You only ignore her if she's misbehaving - this is the only effective way to manage her behaviors. If you've lost girls because of "listening to PUAs", then I'd be highly self-critical on this if I was you. You only lose a girl if she becomes unattracted to you. You lost these girls because of You, not because of PUA. PUA is just a toolbox to be used when needed.
Yeah well be that as it may, listening to pua in this regard, I have lost the girl before. So I find it hard to know how to use these tools.
 

SargeMaximus

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You have to use PUA tools with a full understanding and RedPill awareness of true Female Nature. Losing women and replacing them with new women is the Game.

Purple Pills who use PUA tactics to achieve BluePill goals with women are going to be very disappointed.
I don’t have blue pill goals. I think you’re a bit jaded and it’s clouding your perception.

I do not want to ever get married, I also don’t want to endlessly pump and dump because I’m so socially retarded I next or ghost girls because I’m using pua tactics when it’s unwarranted.
 

samspade

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OP, this is a mindset thing, not a "strategy" thing. If she's just a FWB and she canceled, then hooray - you get to spend the evening reading a book, watching a flick, or doing anything else.

There's no need to scheme with any kind of text game when you truly don't care. Girls will flake, it's part of life, and it's no big deal. Cool that she offered a rain check. If you never bang again, that's cool too, you're high value and will attract more.
 

samspade

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I don't see how cultivating the mindset you described isn't strategic. If it's "scheming" to adopt proven formulae's that work on a woman's subconscious perception of you, then scheming is a great thing.

I see it as similar to refining your sport, say it's boxing. Is it "scheming" to be aware that certain slipping and weaving and countering attacks can directly effect your ability to knock out your opponent?
I see mindfulness and mindset as independent of others. It's something to develop from within; the without takes care of itself. In my experience, doing this for its own sake is better than doing something to change someone else's perception of you. Women are the schemers - when they see a man of value and abundance, they'll do whatever they can to snag him. They are the seducers - most men just miss the seduction because they are thinking like men.

Maybe I'm taking your boxing example too literally, but I don't see women as adversarial. But that's not to say a man can't work on things like charisma, charm, inner peace, etc. Those are great attributes to refine. I just don't see them as techniques - I see them as a way of being. So when a FWB cancels last minute, you respond when and how you want to. Not sure if I'm explaining myself well but that's the gist of it.
 

samspade

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There's too much inwardness, magical thinking and passiveness in your outlook. Men have the burden of performance and you can directly effect your success with women based on your behavior and intellectual understanding of attraction triggers.

I see where you're coming from, but it's definitely a way of coping with the brutal realities of the sexual marketplace. If you're not going to manipulate her, another guy will. And then you get the displeasure of hearing about all the jerks she's banged later, while telling you what a nice guy you are. What she's not telling you is how much she agonizes about the jerk not calling her and how pre-occupied she's become by her experience of Chad pumping and dumping her.
Haven't had that problem. Maybe you are creating narratives and projecting them - or perhaps referring to episodes from the past.

It's not magical or passive. It's about building inner value, demonstrating it, without getting caught up in outcomes. Once you do this, there is no "burden of performance." Are you playing a role? I am not. Going through PUA pantomimes might snag a few chicks, but women will actively seduce a man who is rock solid in his masculinity, value, and veracity to himself and how he handles women. (This has nothing to do with the supposed nice guy/jerk polarity.) A woman will change her scheme to get a man at that level. The attraction triggers become automatic - no need for canned routines. Routines are fine for beginners, but at some point a man either starts becoming the man he wants to be, or he stays polarized. Women can sniff it out.

Reality isn't "brutal" - it just is. The scenarios you describe don't require a "cope." Why would you care if one random girl got fukked by another guy and not you? You have fukked and will fukk plenty of girls - we know this. If you live in abundance this should be of little concern.

I know you know your shyt so I don't want to sound like I'm talking down to you. Just writing about my experience and my truth.
 

bat soup

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Basically she texted me saying she’s feeling bad today and might have to cancel.

I haven’t responded all day and don’t plan to. Should I ghost her for a week even if she reaches out? What’s the correct course here
I'd have just replied "OK".

Not replying at all comes off kind of weird, like you're pissed off about it.

That's appropriate if a girl flakes on a first date because they don't have any credit and you can assume that it's BS. But someone that has been reliable and cooperative in the past has built up some trust and it is probably worth keeping the relationship, unless this becomes a regular occurrence.
 

SargeMaximus

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I'd have just replied "OK".

Not replying at all comes off kind of weird, like you're pissed off about it.

That's appropriate if a girl flakes on a first date because they don't have any credit and you can assume that it's BS. But someone that has been reliable and cooperative in the past has built up some trust and it is probably worth keeping the relationship, unless this becomes a regular occurrence.
Yeah I didn’t know how to respond but I see your point. Noted. Thank you
 

samspade

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You've got a very rudimentary and primitive understanding of what manipulation and Game actually is. But that's cool. I'm always here to help.
Lol, okay bro, no worries - have it your way.
 

SargeMaximus

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I definitely think a few posters on here are overcompensating for something. I know for a fact some advice I’ve taken in the past which has been parroted on this forum has lost me girls who I could probably still be fvcking if I hadn’t driven them away with the tactics.

we gotta be real with what we want. Do we want to lash out with our pain or do we want pvssy
 

samspade

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I definitely think a few posters on here are overcompensating for something. I know for a fact some advice I’ve taken in the past which has been parroted on this forum has lost me girls who I could probably still be fvcking if I hadn’t driven them away with the tactics.

we gotta be real with what we want. Do we want to lash out with our pain or do we want pvssy
I think since she apologized and offered the weekend (presumably one night this weekend and not the whole weekend), if you want to have fun with her, go for it. If you have prior plans, stick with your plans. If you want solitude, don't hang with her. The more important thing is that if she flakes again, you not be bothered (and then maybe consider that she's not serious after all). And also not do something you don't want to do because you think it will work some magic trick on her.

The key is, really, not to care that much - but without using that as an excuse not to take action, if that makes sense.
 

SargeMaximus

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I think since she apologized and offered the weekend (presumably one night this weekend and not the whole weekend), if you want to have fun with her, go for it. If you have prior plans, stick with your plans. If you want solitude, don't hang with her. The more important thing is that if she flakes again, you not be bothered (and then maybe consider that she's not serious after all). And also not do something you don't want to do because you think it will work some magic trick on her.

The key is, really, not to care that much - but without using that as an excuse not to take action, if that makes sense.
I think it makes sense. Basically just do what I want and dont be baited into supplication. At least, that’s my interpretation of game.
 
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