"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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FWB acting weird, but still talks to me...

T

thadder

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So since Monday there's bit a little bit of communication here and there but I've been going radio silent as well.

She let me borrow a few books and I posted that I was reading one, to which she writes "That looks familiar" and I just downplayed it with a little bit of humor.

Then I finished the 2nd book to which I let her know that I did and shared a poem that I liked from it, she writes "I'm glad you enjoyed it!" and I went silent for about 48 hours, and then last night she Snapchats me. I went out last night and sure enough she was one of the top people to browse my Instagram stories.

So I assume I'm getting tested for clinginess, or neediness.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Doctor Europeo

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thadder said:
So I assume I'm getting tested for clinginess, or neediness.
Click to expand...
Possible and probable. Sounds like you are passing with flying colors so far.

The fact that she was one of the top people to borwse your Insta stories could be a good thing.

Keep me updated, I´m courious what happens next.
 
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thadder

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UPDATE.

After a few weeks of lack of communication I held my ground and didn't let it bother me, didn't bother responding or bombarding her with multiple messages.

A few Snapchats here and there, she liked a Instagram post and then out of the blue last weekend, asked me to swing by her place around 10:30 to "drop off some books" that I borrowed a few weeks ago (but was out with people having drinks) left it at that. (Pretty sure it was an opportunity)

Woke up to a Instagram story comment from her, and played it coy.

Then last night, texted her, and we started chatting, and then eventually wanted me to FaceTime her, she played me a few songs on guitar and we chatted. She then told me that she had been kind of emotionally wrecked/up & down the last few weeks...

Now I know what you're thinking "Why didn't you just go over there?" I'm certain I could have but scheduling wise for the both of us hasn't worked out (mostly due to work, and the times I do go over, we tend to stay up like... LATE in the morning like 3 am)
 
R

Ranger

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Once a week max and make it good. If she gets feelings she will blow out. If you get feelings she will blow out.

I have a problem that I’m looking at in my own situations. I say things that draw them emotionally closer. I don’t have anything really specific that I say to throw out there as an example. I genuinely like women naturally so things just come out but I’m very much in control of any emotions or thoughts of “girlfriend”. In fact, I’m certain it will end.
My frame is a nice protection frame. It’s just a natural part that maybe I shouldn’t even concern myself about.

So look at it in a way that there could be something that draws her in but then she puts the brakes on. Something in you. I can really like a woman and absolutely know that I will never make her a girlfriend. I want to be and like to be a woman’s go to for that protection feeling.
There is a side benifit. They are ok with giving me anything I want sexually. And I mean anything. They are safe and know that I won’t hurt them. Yet still being powerfully masculine.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

Ranger

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There is something that a really good friend said to me The word here is redemption. It’s a powerful word. Very powerful.
See, I don’t think it’s about how he treated her. A woman or even a man will obstain from things they have damaged.
Does your frame offer a woman redemption? Just think on this for a while.
 
Doctor Europeo

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thadder said:
UPDATE.

After a few weeks of lack of communication I held my ground and didn't let it bother me, didn't bother responding or bombarding her with multiple messages.

A few Snapchats here and there, she liked a Instagram post and then out of the blue last weekend, asked me to swing by her place around 10:30 to "drop off some books" that I borrowed a few weeks ago (but was out with people having drinks) left it at that. (Pretty sure it was an opportunity)

Woke up to a Instagram story comment from her, and played it coy.

Then last night, texted her, and we started chatting, and then eventually wanted me to FaceTime her, she played me a few songs on guitar and we chatted. She then told me that she had been kind of emotionally wrecked/up & down the last few weeks...

Now I know what you're thinking "Why didn't you just go over there?" I'm certain I could have but scheduling wise for the both of us hasn't worked out (mostly due to work, and the times I do go over, we tend to stay up like... LATE in the morning like 3 am)
Click to expand...
10:30 p.m. ? Yes, an opportunity for sure. Maybe you are the one losing interest?
 
T

thadder

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Dr.Rocanlover said:
10:30 p.m. ? Yes, an opportunity for sure. Maybe you are the one losing interest?
Click to expand...
I had taken a Lyft downtown to go get drinks and didn't want to risk anything, I had a feeling she would text me but wasn't certain.

I'm still interested in hooking up with her as much as I can.
 
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