"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Funny text

mtlwlu

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Im just at the early parts of seeing this one girl, havent slept with her yet, anyways, I took my nephew out for ice cream at this new place in town and sent her the message "I just got marble slab ice cream" and she responds with "I never had it, Ive heard good things" then I responded with "funny, thats what girls say about my ****."

at least I think its funny lol.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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LinkinParkROX

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Good good good good good goooooood stuff! LMAO! This is exactly what I would have said. Good on ya mate!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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bukowski_merit

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i don't think it's horrible... because it would have been horrible to continue the d@mn conversation about what you're doing like you were giving her a twitter status update or something...

funny? not really... but depending on her maturity level - it could have got to her... you know with what you're dealing with better than I.... how did she respond?
 

Biggie

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This reminds me of a text conversation me and my friend had. I texted her something and she said back "i'll smack you!" and i texted back "i'll smack you. with my ****." She's an old friend though and i always abuse her lol. (not physically) though i have kissed her and seen her naked ;-) good times lol.
 

mtlwlu

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her response was "Id be utterly disgusted if that wasnt so clever, haha"
then i said "Im more than just a pretty face, I wish more girls would see that."
 

COD

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umm not all women would find this a good text response.
 

deathfromabove

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Ha, whenever I catch my friends saying **** that would fit the shoe, I reply with, that's what she said. I do it constantly, I can't help myself, the **** cracks me up on the inside. If a girl can't deal with your crude humor, well I guess she can't deal.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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bukowski_merit

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it's not neccesairly the crude humor that makes it not funny to me...

it's that there's millions of guys across the country who daily say that same exact joke ("that's what she says" types of jokes) and they don't show much imagination... it's possibly the most overused joke among high school students...
--
with all that said:
they worked for the OP on the girl though... and that's all that matters for him in the end...
 

scrouds

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I think it depends how old the girl is. and how old he is.

After living a while you want good humor, not bullsh&t and dane cook.
 

Hughman

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Age & maturity are a factor. I wouldn't have been so blunt, but hey, if you don't have any qualms about her social group, then it's a better response that just being 'friendly'.
 

mtlwlu

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its my humour, i find it funny and it worked. "Thats what she said" are classic when used correctly, I have never seen a girl who didnt laugh after that line.
 

Igetit!

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Well,at least you guaranteed yourself that you WON'T FALL into the friendzone with her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JCballin88

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I'm gonna say you got lucky on this one. I think most girls would be turned off by such a blatant reference to genitalia. But then again I've never really tried something like that

*goes off to wonder if I should try that one soon*
 

fertileTurtle

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Girls are sluts. It works.
 
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