"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Funniest thing that has happened to you while having sex

Epicurus

Senior Don Juan
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I’ll start us off

Two weeks ago a regular **** buddy of mine was giving me head I was laying down and she was doing her thing. So long story short I’m cumming in her mouth, but I don’t think she expected it to be that much this girl literally almost chokes to death, sorta vomits it all over me and the bed and looks like she had been crying for hours. We spent a good 20 minutes laughing it off
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
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Put it in my ex girlfriend's ass and literally got **** on. She sprinted to the restroom while I stood there shocked and disgusted. I jumped into the shower immediately while she finished pooping in the toilet. We never talked about it.
 
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Milano

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 21, 2016
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nosebleeding into her pssy while oral, took some time until I noticed too :)
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
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USA, Louisiana
I was a Captain in the Army, stationed in Germany, and this chick I met wanted me to handcuff her to her bed. So I did, when we were done I asked for the keys and we discovered that it wasn't the novelty sex cuffs she gave me... but her boyfriends REAL cuff, and he was a German policeman. I went down to my car and got out my car jack and jacked her bed posts apart to get her free.

But she was still handcuffed, just not to the post. She decided to play it off as her putting them on waiting for the BF, so I had to clean her up. First and only time I douched a chick.
 
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