Frustrations of a (very) late starter

[JaegerPilot217]

ONS indeed!

I'm not saying anything of the kind. It's a matter of variables.

There are plenty of 40 year olds who can't/won't hook up with 20 year olds.

There is no science to this.

Maybe we should use Hugh Hefner as an example?

 

[NewJack]

I'll spare you the details of my life story, but I was brought up as an emotionally highly dependent nice guy, and when I moved out at the age of 24, I was so spineless I barely qualified as a mammal.

Maybe self-acceptance is a place to start. You just referred back to an earlier version of yourself as being less-than-human. That's not a good sign.

Self-improvement has a very serious darkside, and that is self-judgment. In choosing to see your sexuality as flawed, you are engaging with that dark side, and hoping to become a patient in some internet dating evangelist's new surgery program to remove "Uncool Factor X" from you, which finally lets a person become Brad Pitt. Viewing yourself as uncool makes you uncool. Viewing your sexuality as flawed makes it flawed. Viewing your sexuality as broken makes it broken.

I know its a paradox, and I know what I've said isn't the whole truth, but only part of the story.

You'll need and want to strive towards a goal. But the more self-lovingly you do it, the faster you'll reach the place of self-acceptance where you can finally scratch yourself off your own "TODO" list.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I married a girl 10 years my junior. She's 24 this year.

That said, why not take a trip to Thailand or the Phillippines. No need to re-learn game/life and all that crapp.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

If a mans social value increases as he ages to me that sounds like most women don't care even if the man has lost his youthful looks, apparently that's what it seems

 

[Dryden]

Self-improvement has a very serious darkside, and that is self-judgment. In choosing to see your sexuality as flawed, you are engaging with that dark side, and hoping to become a patient in some internet dating evangelist's new surgery program to remove "Uncool Factor X" from you, which finally lets a person become Brad Pitt. Viewing yourself as uncool makes you uncool. Viewing your sexuality as flawed makes it flawed. Viewing your sexuality as broken makes it broken.

I know its a paradox, and I know what I've said isn't the whole truth, but only part of the story.

You'll need and want to strive towards a goal. But the more self-lovingly you do it, the faster you'll reach the place of self-acceptance where you can finally scratch yourself off your own "TODO" list.

That is very well said. I can relate strongly to this guy, and in my case it might be even worse because not only am I this extreme nice guy, I'm also chronically ill, limiting my activity to the largest extent.

How do you accept yourself when there seems to be this huge lack, when you seem to be worth so little. How do you love yourself when you are so emotionally and sexually malnourished and you have none other to blame for this than your self?

 

[JaegerPilot217]

If it does get better for men as they age, and I'm starting to believe it more, then that tells me women could care less about a mans looks? I kinda new for a while they were not as important to women as they are to men but thought they still mattered more than it seems