Frustration in the dating market

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

We've had a decade where women have had enormous amounts of attention lavished on them by men from all walks of life

The type of money and attention that perhaps once upon a time would have been reserved for the very best of the best

Problem is women are now left with a level of competition in the market which is absolutely merciless every single chick wants to be an IT girl 8 / 9 and present herself as arm candy to get a free ticket to an easy life.

You've got 5,6 and 7's desperately trying to scramble their way up the ladder aswell as the naturally attractive women and only a tiny pool of "eligible" men to entertain them

The dynamics just don't seem sustainable to me and I fear a lot of women are shortly going to enter their 30's and 40's with incredibly unrealistic views of both relationships and the dating market with a rapidly diminishing SMV

You're right of course, but it's hardly anyone's sole responsibility. It's to the point of someone being somewhat fringe being a necessitous pre req for multiple dates, FWB or LTR tier women. Situationships, SNL, or plates I could care less. Those 30s-40s women who still make an effort to look good are gonna get real "cheap" real fast. As fast as they become aware of WHAT they are and why WHO they are doesn't matter. Sad state of affairs. But we adapt and overcome, as cliche as it sounds.

 

[CornbreadFed]

One thing that many people don't realize is just how insanely wealthy America has become. There are 25 million people in America with a net worth of over $1 million. That's nearly 10% of the total adult population. And most of these millionaires are concentrated in certain geographic areas, which means that there is an enormous concentration of wealth. So if you are a hot, young chick living in NYC, LA or Miami, expecting a guy to be loaded is not that unrealistic.

A millionaire is more likely to be some baby boomer with 1 million in assets not some bitcoin Alpha stud sigma male bodybuilder cold approaching in Miami. Women want a dude willing to transfer money in to fun & status activities even if it means debt. The rich guys you see blowing money on women are basically trust fund babies or hood rich men.

 

[Solomon]

We've had a decade where women have had enormous amounts of attention lavished on them by men from all walks of life

The type of money and attention that perhaps once upon a time would have been reserved for the very best of the best

Problem is women are now left with a level of competition in the market which is absolutely merciless every single chick wants to be an IT girl 8 / 9 and present herself as arm candy to get a free ticket to an easy life.

You've got 5,6 and 7's desperately trying to scramble their way up the ladder aswell as the naturally attractive women and only a tiny pool of "eligible" men to entertain them

The dynamics just don't seem sustainable to me and I fear a lot of women are shortly going to enter their 30's and 40's with incredibly unrealistic views of both relationships and the dating market with a rapidly diminishing SMV

You're already seeing it now. For example, women who are used to dating rich guys in their 20s then get older and lose their looks but still expect to pull that type of guy. I remember back in 2024, I dated(just one 1 date each)2 women who flat-out told me they were looking for a boyfriend to pay their bills. These women don't even try to hide it anymore; needless to say, I banged them and sent them on their way.

The problem with women who are spoiled and kept by a man is that usually they have insufferable personalities, NOT ALL. But these women are used to having their ass kissed cause their hot, but once they lose that (say go from a 9 to a 7 or 8 to a 5), they don't adjust their personalities and still think they should be treated the same way. Also some of these women are ran through so even if they are hot they have a reputation and thus no guy takes them seriously. Living in a small town the rich folks know each other and it's not hard to find intel on a hot chick if you know the right person to ask (although I bet it may be different in a larger city of course)

I know these stories are anecdotal, but there is a reason why you see if you see a woman who is hot in her early 30s, perpetually single, that usually has a shtty personality and most likely some mental baggage to boot

I'm also noticing women in their 40s doubling down who refuse to settle and they end up being FWB or side chicks at best with the type of man they want. These women, while they look good for their age just can't compete with the 25-year-olds. They could probably date a guy 20 years older who would treat them well but they refuse to do so. Honestly, it's pathetic to see a woman in her 40s still going to bars and clubs every weekend hoping some rich chad will take her seriously, meanwhile they get pumped and dumped or dealing with short-term situationships at best.

Insanity!

 

[Bokanovsky]

You're already seeing it now. For example, women who are used to dating rich guys in their 20s then get older and lose their looks but still expect to pull that type of guy. I remember back in 2024, I dated(just one 1 date each)2 women who flat-out told me they were looking for a boyfriend to pay their bills. These women don't even try to hide it anymore; needless to say, I banged them and sent them on their way.

The problem with women who are spoiled and kept by a man is that usually they have insufferable personalities, NOT ALL. But these women are used to having their ass kissed cause their hot, but once they lose that (say go from a 9 to a 7 or 8 to a 5), they don't adjust their personalities and still think they should be treated the same way. Also some of these women are ran through so even if they are hot they have a reputation and thus no guy takes them seriously. Living in a small town the rich folks know each other and it's not hard to find intel on a hot chick if you know the right person to ask (although I bet it may be different in a larger city of course)

I know these stories are anecdotal, but there is a reason why you see if you see a woman who is hot in her early 30s, perpetually single, that usually has a shtty personality and most likely some mental baggage to boot

I'm also noticing women in their 40s doubling down who refuse to settle and they end up being FWB or side chicks at best with the type of man they want. These women, while they look good for their age just can't compete with the 25-year-olds. They could probably date a guy 20 years older who would treat them well but they refuse to do so. Honestly, it's pathetic to see a woman in her 40s still going to bars and clubs every weekend hoping some rich chad will take her seriously, meanwhile they get pumped and dumped or dealing with short-term situationships at best.

Insanity!

If hot women were smart, they would marry rich guys while they are still in their 20's. That would be the equivalent of selling stock at the peak of the market. And unlike the stock market, it's not difficult to predict when a woman's looks are going to peak. The fact that these women waste their 20's doing the most ridiculous sh!t and then find themselves missing the train to easy life is mind-boggling.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I know these stories are anecdotal, but there is a reason why you see if you see a woman who is hot in her early 30s, perpetually single, that usually has a shtty personality and most likely some mental baggage to boot

If hot women were smart, they would marry rich guys while they are still in their 20's. That would be the equivalent of selling stock at the peak of the market. And unlike the stock market, it's not difficult to predict when a woman's looks are going to peak. The fact that these women waste their 20's doing the most ridiculous sh!t and then find themselves missing the train to easy life is mind-boggling.

The problem with this whole line of reasoning is that it's just completely detached from reality for the vast majority of men. Like, who exactly are we talking about here? OnlyFans girls and women who are exclusively chasing athletes and yacht guys? Okay, where are you meeting these women? Because unless you are deliberately putting yourself in those spaces or you are chronically online consuming that content, these women are not a variable in your life. They are not showing up at your job. They are not at your local bar. They are not swiping right on your average ass on Tinder. If these girls are actively engaging with you then you have something going for you that most men do not have which means you need to work on advanced level/handsome man's game.

And the flip side of that is equally important. Average women are not being meaningfully influenced by those dynamics either, because the men actually driving hypergamous behavior, your Drakes, your Leonardos, your billionaire tech guys, are not out here pursuing average women. That's not how any of this works. Drake is not pulling up to a McDonald's in suburban Kansas City and changing some girl's standards forever. That's not a real phenomenon affecting your dating pool.

So what's actually happening here is that a lot of guys have constructed this elaborate external explanation for why their dating life sucks, and it conveniently requires zero self-reflection. Maybe social media has warped some women's expectations at the margins, sure, I'll grant you that. But if you are a regular dude in a regular city struggling to get dates, the much more probable explanation is that your dating skills are bad, your profile is bad, or you are simply not attractive enough yet and that's a fixable problem. The competition rot thesis is cope.

 

[Bingo-Player]

And the flip side of that is equally important. Average women are not being meaningfully influenced by those dynamics either, because the men actually driving hypergamous behavior, your Drakes, your Leonardos, your billionaire tech guys, are not out here pursuing average women. That's not how any of this works. Drake is not pulling up to a McDonald's in suburban Kansas City and changing some girl's standards forever. That's not a real phenomenon affecting your dating pool.

You're forgetting that over the last 15 years social media has democratised fame.

A guy can ascertain a local "celebrity" level status within a small town with an audience of about 30- 50K

Women are not chasing the drakes or Leonardos they aren't stupid they know they are completely unattainable

A major city you'd probably need 200K + but its not that difficult , a lot of PT's /Fitness influencers now present themselves as local celebrities on social media I can count 5 in in my gym alone.

Even guys who have made random appearances on Z list reality TV shows

I mean of course they aren't celebrities by definition and its all very cringey , but for modern women whom are chronically addicted to instagram validation and enjoy feeding their ego's by competing with other women for status its good enough

Women are heavily competing with each other for whoever the most popular local talent is , and all of them seem to believe they fully deserve it .

Men like rotating we know that any guy given the option will have a constant rotation even if a couple are bang average

This gives your sort of average woman a false sense of attainability which in turn makes her more fussy and demanding for guys in her own leauge

 

[CornbreadFed]

This gives your sort of average woman a false sense of attainability which in turn makes her more fussy and demanding for guys in her own leauge

If she can actually get the men she wants, then her standards are realistic. If she can't, then claiming those men are still within reach is just wishful thinking, which isn't a hurdle to cross at all. If your excuse for not getting women is because she dreams of fvcking Micheal B Jordan or Ryan Gosling, then I have little hope for you, brother. Cool, I want to fvck Megan Fox lol.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Bingo-Player "Also by 2020 Women had fully sussed out and negated the old world pick up techniques that Strauss started back in the 2000's"

Strauss was a tourist/voyeur in the community... Claiming he "started" any ot this is more absurd than so many of us pretending that terrorism on US soild didn't exist prior to 9/11

 

[Bingo-Player]

@Bingo-Player "Also by 2020 Women had fully sussed out and negated the old world pick up techniques that Strauss started back in the 2000's"

Strauss was a tourist/voyeur in the community... Claiming he "started" any ot this is more absurd than so many of us pretending that terrorism on US soild didn't exist prior to 9/11

Strauss shone the spotlight on to the concept ,which in turn started a chain of events to bring " game " into the mainstream which then drew the likes of ross Jeffries in to the scene and others looking to monetise it.

Prior to that, female sexual nature / preference was a very obscure topic and barely even considered

There was a few naturals who just sort of got it and internet forum dwellers.

 

[The Duke]

We've had a decade where women have had enormous amounts of attention lavished on them by men from all walks of life

The type of money and attention that perhaps once upon a time would have been reserved for the very best of the best

Problem is women are now left with a level of competition in the market which is absolutely merciless every single chick wants to be an IT girl 8 / 9 and present herself as arm candy to get a free ticket to an easy life.

You've got 5,6 and 7's desperately trying to scramble their way up the ladder aswell as the naturally attractive women and only a tiny pool of "eligible" men to entertain them

The dynamics just don't seem sustainable to me and I fear a lot of women are shortly going to enter their 30's and 40's with incredibly unrealistic views of both relationships and the dating market with a rapidly diminishing SMV

I've got a cousin and a sister that rode the cahk carousel for years....never married. Both rolling up on 50....end of the road. One is getting married to a consolation prize. The other got a DWI, is depressed, and goes on vacation every month ny herself.

Those plot lines play out across America. I've dated it before.

 

[viking22]

Yeah I am seeing this too. Dating apps in major metropolitan areas are chock full of attractive women in their 30s and 40s.

There is just no longer a societal concept of being left on the shelf. They can make their own money. They all think that IVF and celebrities having babies in their 40s means that they can ignore their biological clock. They've been told they can have it all and refuse to settle.

A well functioning dating market involves people pairing off and forming equitable relationships (i.e. equivalent LMS).

That just isn't happening to the same extent as for previous generations.

Dating apps/social media are a major factor because it distorts reality. Even a mid can get 100s of likes a day with make up/camera angles/filters etc. Majority of guys get next to no matches and women generally respond to an abundance of options by being incredibly selective and swiping right on only 5% of profiles. So they all end up matching and then being ghosted by or pumped or dumped by the same minority of men. And then they get frustrated go through cycles of deleting and re-installing apps, complaining to their girl group etc.

Also women do not have the same sex drive men have. Their main need is attention and dating apps/social media gives them that in spades. If women were deprived of attention they would be a lot more open to dating regular guys.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Dating apps/social media are a major factor because it distorts reality. Even a mid can get 100s of likes a day with make up/camera angles/filters etc. Majority of guys get next to no matches and women generally respond to an abundance of options by being incredibly selective and swiping right on only 5% of profiles. So they all end up matching and then being ghosted by or pumped or dumped by the same minority of men. And then they get frustrated go through cycles of deleting and re-installing apps, complaining to their girl group etc.

Also women do not have the same sex drive men have. Their main need is attention and dating apps/social media gives them that in spades. If women were deprived of attention they would be a lot more open to dating regular guys.

Yea that's what I was getting at

It feels and looks like almost every single woman in every SMV bracket seems to be now competing or holding out for that top 5% within her local area where as 10-20 years ago the average woman wouldn't of even been aware of who those types of men were.

its why Facebook pages like " are we dating the same guy" have sprung up all over the world, women are losing their sh1t because they cannot lock a relationship down but their failing to realise the men they want to lock down have literally every other woman trying to do the same thing.

The amount of women I know and meet that are chronically single is astounding

 

[BaronOfHair]

Strauss shone the spotlight on to the concept ,which in turn started a chain of events to bring " game " into the mainstream which then drew the likes of ross Jeffries in to the scene and others looking to monetise it.

Prior to that, female sexual nature / preference was a very obscure topic and barely even considered

There was a few naturals who just sort of got it and internet forum dwellers.

What we today call "Red Pill Knowledge" MAY have been tough to acquire in mainstream outlets during The EARLY 90s.. From the latter part of that decade-2016 though, this stuff WAS NOT "controversial" to discuss publicly https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rationale-male-players-handbook.282121/#post-3116512 Note the dates on all of those links

 

[Gamisch]

A millionaire is more likely to be some baby boomer with 1 million in assets not some bitcoin Alpha stud sigma male bodybuilder cold approaching in Miami. Women want a dude willing to transfer money in to fun & status activities even if it means debt. The rich guys you see blowing money on women are basically trust fund babies or hood rich men.

Key Demographics and Wealth Drivers

• Age: Most individuals reach millionaire status in their 50s or 60s, with a significant concentration among Gen X and Baby Boomers. The average age to cross this threshold is about 50

 

[Solomon]

The problem with this whole line of reasoning is that it's just completely detached from reality for the vast majority of men. Like, who exactly are we talking about here? OnlyFans girls and women who are exclusively chasing athletes and yacht guys? Okay, where are you meeting these women? Because unless you are deliberately putting yourself in those spaces or you are chronically online consuming that content, these women are not a variable in your life. They are not showing up at your job. They are not at your local bar. They are not swiping right on your average ass on Tinder. If these girls are actively engaging with you then you have something going for you that most men do not have which means you need to work on advanced level/handsome man's game.

And the flip side of that is equally important. Average women are not being meaningfully influenced by those dynamics either, because the men actually driving hypergamous behavior, your Drakes, your Leonardos, your billionaire tech guys, are not out here pursuing average women. That's not how any of this works. Drake is not pulling up to a McDonald's in suburban Kansas City and changing some girl's standards forever. That's not a real phenomenon affecting your dating pool.

So what's actually happening here is that a lot of guys have constructed this elaborate external explanation for why their dating life sucks, and it conveniently requires zero self-reflection. Maybe social media has warped some women's expectations at the margins, sure, I'll grant you that. But if you are a regular dude in a regular city struggling to get dates, the much more probable explanation is that your dating skills are bad, your profile is bad, or you are simply not attractive enough yet and that's a fixable problem. The competition rot thesis is cope.

I think @Bokanovsky addressed this previously a bit but let me quote him again for more context (and so also I don't misquote him)

One thing that many people don't realize is just how insanely wealthy America has become. There are 25 million people in America with a net worth of over $1 million. That's nearly 10% of the total adult population. And most of these millionaires are concentrated in certain geographic areas, which means that there is an enormous concentration of wealth. So if you are a hot, young chick living in NYC, LA or Miami, expecting a guy to be loaded is not that unrealistic.

Adding on in my own words and opinion @Bokanovsky feel free to disagree here. It's not just OnlyFans girls or athlete chasers who have access to millionaires now but also everyday Nicoles and Stacys. I know 23-year-old girls fresh out of college whose social circles are millionaires(and they are not) Imagine being 23 years old and all your ex-boyfriends are millionaires. Sounds crazy right? Not really if you're hot enough. This can warp your view on men, money, and success very easily. Remember at 23 years old most women have not truly experienced life yet.

You're right Drake is not pulling up to McDonald's in Kansas City, but in the last 10-plus years how many times has Drake been exposed for sliding into random girls' Instagram DMs, trying to fly them out, and so on? I'm talking about regular women who work regular jobs or go to college. This is well documented throughout his career.

Even with millionaires I hung out with, the waitresses would get access if they were hot enough. I remember one particular girl. A former buddy of mine and myslef were at Fogo de Chão. Tall brunette. He got her number, then invited her to his apartment later that night for casa migos, which is one of the best apartments in my city. With a reputation for having hot girls (not just visiting but also living there)This girl was just a waitress and came to find out she had a whole boyfriend after the fact.

So what's actually happening here is that a lot of guys have constructed this elaborate external explanation for why their dating life sucks, and it conveniently requires zero self-reflection. Maybe social media has warped some women's expectations at the margins, sure, I'll grant you that. But if you are a regular dude in a regular city struggling to get dates, the much more probable explanation is that your dating skills are bad, your profile is bad, or you are simply not attractive enough yet and that's a fixable problem. The competition rot thesis is cope.

I do agree with you. A lot of guys construct red pill scenarios that are based on BS like "Chad gets all the girls wah wah wah." But as a person who has actually been around those rich Chads or guys, I can tell you they run through a lot of regular working girls, college girls, etc. Some of these women are able to finesse and maybe become girlfriends or even wives eventually. Some of those girls are just getting passed around from one rich guy to another because they want access to the life.

It's Pandora's box especially for women in their 20s and 30s. There aren't a lot of guys in their 20s or even 30s who are making seven figures, and the lifestyle is alluring. A lot of red pill guys for the most part are talking from the outside looking in and have no idea wtf they are talking about because they are not in those circles. Of course, not every woman has access to millionaire men but the point I am making is it is far easier for an average woman in 2026 to have access to a millionaire than ever before.