Hi All
Last month, I got dumped after dating 2 years. Ok, she had obviously her own reasons .. blaming the 'mistakes' I made her fading away, but sure she did too to me. We were a bit to busy with our own lives. Only ... I got trust, I felt us mature enough to discuss in time and grow. That's growing a relationship right, after the first months of easy fun and pleasure (we travelled a lot together to see each other).
Not for her. Ok. The moment she told to break up I instantly asked to go home (she was visiting me). As I am in shock, I can act suddenly very cold and not at all moved ... just a matter of self-protection. So I dropped her 30min later with a friendly smile at the metro station and said: bye.
Then, the game started ... NC from my side. She started begging to see each other to talk.
I did, after 3 days.
She only could cry those last 3 days. Didnt understand this .. you broke up right?
She told (we got a long dist relationship) she wanted to be more together, she told she missed I said ever 'I love you'. I'm more somebody showing love by for example taking a flight to the other side of the world to surprise her with a visit last May.
She told she was doubting about my love for her.
She told she talked a lot with her best friend about us. Oh great. She never talked to me about this 'smaller issues'. So she kept me completely out to understand and meet her specific desires.
I was the first to show her to do better, to better the relationship. We talked a lot over whatsapp. Sometimes I stopped communication ... she retook always. Maximum 2 days and hup, message.
2 weeks ago I asked for a weekend to see each-other, to talk, to watch, to deal about us.
I was really sorry for my mistakes. I couldnt know actually as she only told her best friend. But ok, I love her and wanted to show what she's worth to me. A lot. I expressed I my love in a better and nicer way than before. Not used to it, but for her. Sure! I want to become better, to learn, to grow. I'm neither perfect as you aren't.
Last 2 weeks ... whatsapp again and she was pushing me to the friendzone. Messages became superficial, but really superficial.
Last week I started NC again. Till this morning: "Hope you're doing well. Are you still in your city?"
What the **** hell. Well, clearly she thinks of me, maybe misses me a bit and just checks again.
I'm the only 1 with her on whatsapp, and I saw she was online every day last week to check if I replied her last superficial message.
As I see now the whole picture from a distance bit ... her ego is big and needs a lot of attention.
She was turning me down (break up) because she missed enough attention during relationship. Well mostly when we were at distance. Together, she told, she felt loved.
Last months I discovered often she felt better than others.
I continue NC, no reply on this morning message. I put everything in the scale after break-up I wanted to grow us. I showed my weakest vulnerable me (as everybody has). She didnt. She still asks for some ego-boost. Nothing change actually.
Well, unless she maybe sends the message: I want to talk with you.
Unless an I-message, instead of You-questions, I stay on NC.
It hurts, but my pride is growing and taking over. My pride is learning from this situation, getting a better me ... where she is still on the same place with herself ... looking for an ego-boost.
Last month, I got dumped after dating 2 years. Ok, she had obviously her own reasons .. blaming the 'mistakes' I made her fading away, but sure she did too to me. We were a bit to busy with our own lives. Only ... I got trust, I felt us mature enough to discuss in time and grow. That's growing a relationship right, after the first months of easy fun and pleasure (we travelled a lot together to see each other).
Not for her. Ok. The moment she told to break up I instantly asked to go home (she was visiting me). As I am in shock, I can act suddenly very cold and not at all moved ... just a matter of self-protection. So I dropped her 30min later with a friendly smile at the metro station and said: bye.
Then, the game started ... NC from my side. She started begging to see each other to talk.
I did, after 3 days.
She only could cry those last 3 days. Didnt understand this .. you broke up right?
She told (we got a long dist relationship) she wanted to be more together, she told she missed I said ever 'I love you'. I'm more somebody showing love by for example taking a flight to the other side of the world to surprise her with a visit last May.
She told she was doubting about my love for her.
She told she talked a lot with her best friend about us. Oh great. She never talked to me about this 'smaller issues'. So she kept me completely out to understand and meet her specific desires.
I was the first to show her to do better, to better the relationship. We talked a lot over whatsapp. Sometimes I stopped communication ... she retook always. Maximum 2 days and hup, message.
2 weeks ago I asked for a weekend to see each-other, to talk, to watch, to deal about us.
I was really sorry for my mistakes. I couldnt know actually as she only told her best friend. But ok, I love her and wanted to show what she's worth to me. A lot. I expressed I my love in a better and nicer way than before. Not used to it, but for her. Sure! I want to become better, to learn, to grow. I'm neither perfect as you aren't.
Last 2 weeks ... whatsapp again and she was pushing me to the friendzone. Messages became superficial, but really superficial.
Last week I started NC again. Till this morning: "Hope you're doing well. Are you still in your city?"
What the **** hell. Well, clearly she thinks of me, maybe misses me a bit and just checks again.
I'm the only 1 with her on whatsapp, and I saw she was online every day last week to check if I replied her last superficial message.
As I see now the whole picture from a distance bit ... her ego is big and needs a lot of attention.
She was turning me down (break up) because she missed enough attention during relationship. Well mostly when we were at distance. Together, she told, she felt loved.
Last months I discovered often she felt better than others.
I continue NC, no reply on this morning message. I put everything in the scale after break-up I wanted to grow us. I showed my weakest vulnerable me (as everybody has). She didnt. She still asks for some ego-boost. Nothing change actually.
Well, unless she maybe sends the message: I want to talk with you.
Unless an I-message, instead of You-questions, I stay on NC.
It hurts, but my pride is growing and taking over. My pride is learning from this situation, getting a better me ... where she is still on the same place with herself ... looking for an ego-boost.
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