Friendzone or is she testing me?

[Erik1]

A while back I had some drinks with a girl who I met before at a party. It went pretty well, but nothing happened. (I might have been too nice and didn't build enough attraction, I probably came across different in my messages and based on my appearance) Afterwards she said that our age difference was too big, so we could only be friends if I wanted. (I'm about 7 years older than her, but she's not underage or anything)
Normally I would say that the age thing was just her "nice" way of rejecting me, also because she already knew how old I was, but there are some things that are giving me doubts.

I said I was fine with being friends because she was too young for me anyway. After that we texted some and I was able to be more my old self again since I didn't really care about it, so not too nice.
I now have asked her to go somewhere with me, she agreed and seemed happy to join. By the way, I'm not paying for her and she has to travel quite far to see me.(like the first time) When I met her, she mentioned that she had some trouble in the past with bad boyfriends. This is a popular girl who gets a lot of male attention and has a lot of friends.

So do you guys think I'm really in the friendzone, or is she just testing me to see if I'm only trying to use her for sex? I mean why would she be willing to travel and spend money, just for some guy that she doesn't know very well and isn't interested in?

 

[VladPatton]

Ignore everything she said about the age, bad boyfriends, of whatever she blurts out to shoot you down. Go by her actions. Her driving far to see you may indicate a high IL. But don't count your chickens just yet. Continue to play around with her, get a little physical, tease her, all that good ṣhit. Then go cold/no contact. If she calls/texts, it looks good for you. If not, thou are Friend Zoned.

We all go through this ṣhit. I was at a bar with my buddy and the girl whom I had a high IL in, but she didn't. I just went with it, had a fun night, got her drunk, got touchy, mad teasing, I didn't give a ṣhit anymore. So, just be cool for now and don't expect her vaj to go squishy and magic to happen just yet.

Roll with it for now, then Next her later if she's not interested so you don't become her girlfriend with a penis. There are better prospects out there.

Good luck!

 

[Erik1]

Thanks dude, btw she doesn't have a car so she has to take a train to get there. I think she was interested and still might be, but maybe I kinda blew it on the first date with my "nice guy behavior". Even though she did initiate contact afterwards. I mean, this girl gave me her number without me even asking for it.

So when I'll see her, I'll tease her more like in my messages and try to get a bit physical.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Get her drunk and have fun. Show her a good time and flirt outrageously.
Your job is to escalate until she says "stop".
If she says, "No, we're just friends". Be cool, be calm and be satisfied that you gave it your best.
Them you move on to more interested women.
Gould luck man!

 

[marmel75]

Get her drunk and have fun. Show her a good time and flirt outrageously.
Your job is to escalate until she says "stop".
If she says, "No, we're just friends". Be cool, be calm and be satisfied that you gave it your best.
Them you move on to more interested women.
Gould luck man!

Say "Its cool, we can be friends" and then just keep doing whatever you were doing, lol

F it...just go for it, its already a no, if you get anywhere consider it a bonus.
I mean she has to have some type of IL for you...I don't know too many girls that would travel on a train pretty far to see a dude they aren't interested in...

 

[Cremasta]

How old is she? Are you interested in her?

There's no doubt that she is interested. Any girl who makes the extra effort to see you and talk to you is interested. But like many others, she has no idea what she wants.

You need to do three things:
1. Be lots of fun
2. When you're with her, do not look at other women and make sure you get physically close to her as often as you can.
3. Do NOT allow her to get into deep and meaningful conversations about anything (like her bad ex-bf's), if she starts just put your hand up and say "I'm not interested in that!"

If she's interested, you'll starting getting a whole heap of physical contact.
If she's not interested, no biggie, you'll have had some fun.

win-win

 

[Erik1]

Thanks for the advice guys. She is 21 by the way, and yes I am interested in her.
She only mentioned the bad boyfriends one time, and it was within the first few minutes that I was introduced to her. The context was more about how she was more serious about her carreer and her life now. I know you should never let them talk to you about other guys.

It's that whole "making an effort to see me" that makes me question if I'm really in the friendzone. Usually, a girl would not be willing to hang out with you again, especially one on one, if they know that you're interested. Has happened to me before. In that case she would just be making up some excuse about how she's really busy or something, so I wouldn't get the wrong idea or still give me some hope.
But I'll see how it goes this time.

 

[Trump]

Afterwards she said that our age difference was too big, so we could only be friends if I wanted. (I'm about 7 years older than her, but she's not underage or anything)

She said no to sex, but if you want to be friends, she's ok with that? Nothing wrong with her ego.

After that we texted some and I was able to be more my old self again since I didn't really care about it, so not too nice.
I now have asked her to go somewhere with me, she agreed and seemed happy to join. This is a popular girl who gets a lot of male attention and has a lot of friends.

Yeah and you're one of them. Come on bro, why are you texting a girl who says she's too young to sleep with you, but not too young to get her ego fed by you? You also arranged a date with a girl who told you its 100% ok for you to sleep with other girls.

I mean why would she be willing to travel and spend money, just for some guy that she doesn't know very well and isn't interested in?

Dude girls will literally kill their husbands for their ego, a few bucks for a solid ego stroke isn't going to hurt them.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

(I'm about 7 years older than her, but she's not underage or anything)
Normally I would say that the age thing was just her "nice" way of rejecting me, also because she already knew how old I was, but there are some things that are giving me doubts.

Your gut is right, your doubts are wrong. Listen to the gut.

 

[Erik1]

Well it doesn't really matter anymore, because I'm pretty sure she is going to flake.
She just said that there is this other event that she has to go to before our date, but she could make it if she leaves after straight away.
I knew about the other event, but she never mentioned that it might be conflicting with her schedule.
Now I'm expecting to get a message soon from her on "how she's too tired/or running really late" or just some excuse why she can't make it.

You were right, always go with your gut. I'm not waisting my time with this one anymore. Next