legolas
Master Don Juan
Do you guys find that most of your friends don't really contact you unless they have some kind of a problem which only you can solve?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Friends
- Thread starter legolas
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
the only guys i define as "real friends" are the people i go out with on saturday night: 3 of my ex-classmates, my brother and my girlfriend. every saturday, there can be another 5-6 people that want to join us, but the only people i can refer to as close friends are the ones that i go out with on a regular basis... so i don't and i CAN'T have your problem
Centaurion
Master Don Juan
There is a difference between friends and acquaintances. I have 3 real friends that are scattered around the globe, but everytime we have the oppertunity we meet and have a blast.
Acquaintances are those dipsh*ts that I usually go out with. And, to be honest, I give a **** about them.
Acquaintances are those dipsh*ts that I usually go out with. And, to be honest, I give a **** about them.
splinterkb
Master Don Juan
Are you sure these people are really your "friends"? If they only contact you because they need something from you, then they're just using you. If the were real friends, they would call you up to chill and whatnot. I suggest you find a new group of friends.
diablo
Master Don Juan
Very true. I heard a saying once that "A true friend will come and pick you up at 4am. An acquaintance won't". If the only time you talk to these people is when they have a problem, odds are good that they aren't as good friend as you think.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.