"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Friends of girl I gamed.

thegator39

Don Juan
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I tried to get game this girl on pof...and would "be nice" to her...message her every few months and ask her how she's been, try to be friendly, even though she rejected me and blocked me once (I was desperate and do stupid sh*t on the computer sometimes.) So I was on pof and saw her profile pop up and chose to message her and mention that her good friend (male) lives down the street from me and we played basketball...trying pathetically to use the mutual friend as social proof, and told her she should come by and watch us next time.

I'm wondering a few things:

1.)If this got back to my neighbor, would the woman in question exaggerate to him and make sh*t up, or would she simply say "Do you know The Gator...he was trying to pick me up?"

2.)Regardless, would him and my other new male acquaintences (that also know her) judge me for this or think I'm some kind of creep for online gaming a woman?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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thegator39 said:
I tried to get game this girl on pof...and would "be nice" to her...message her every few months and ask her how she's been, try to be friendly, even though she rejected me and blocked me once (I was desperate and do stupid sh*t on the computer sometimes.) So I was on pof and saw her profile pop up and chose to message her and mention that her good friend (male) lives down the street from me and we played basketball...trying pathetically to use the mutual friend as social proof, and told her she should come by and watch us next time.

I'm wondering a few things:

1.)If this got back to my neighbor, would the woman in question exaggerate to him and make sh*t up, or would she simply say "Do you know The Gator...he was trying to pick me up?"

2.)Regardless, would him and my other new male acquaintences (that also know her) judge me for this or think I'm some kind of creep for online gaming a woman?
1. Who can say? That's a question no one can answer honestly. What's done is done.

2. Again, what's done is done. Who can say?

The problem is, you know deep down that you think that you fvcked up. That is your truest belief in this situation. You believe you made a mistake. And in that belief the only result you see is that you will be punished for your mistake. This is your belief system in this situation. Tell me that it's not. Look deep inside your mind and ask yourself do you feel proud of your action and think that you are worthy because of this.

Now. I'm not judging your action. I am talking about what YOU believe and why you posted the questions you did in the way you did. Your questions come off as someone who is looking for absolution. You fear a bad result and you want someone to settle your fears. Am I wrong? I maybe, I doubt you would tell me if I were right though.

What's done is done, who can say what will happen? And life goes on regardless. That is your truest answer.
 

joe henny

Senior Don Juan
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dog pof is a dating site not a social networking site. Messaging her every few months won't do crap. If she rejected you once then why would you try again?
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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thegator39 said:
Good stuff as usual, Warrior.

The hardest thing to change is your belief system. I've been thinking about that alot lately and how our beliefs shape our actions. Sometimes beliefs are so ingrained we think of them as facts or just the way the world works. We fail to question them and examine them and redefine them. It's hard freaking work. Especially with no outside influence.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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