"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Friend Circles - Rules of Thumb

va2000

Don Juan
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I was just thinking about the utility of personal rules of thumb about friendships, attention, jealousy, etc. because it's clearly critical to maintain a healthy balance depending on your type of frame.

I am personally an LTR type who recognizes the value of plates but doesn't intend to take it to a physical level (at least in my current dread meter). But I also notice that plating en masse or without regard to boundaries could be detrimental. The first rules I thought would be

-girls she knew first, treat as family
-girls you knew first, plate away

This would go for in person as well as social media friendship. I think ruling out some options (without her seeing my self delineated boundary) at least is a small price to pay for letting her see me as above whatever drama she might already be involved in, letting her keep a decent support circle, not getting a Pavlov hunch that bringing hot girls around just means risking my shifting all attention to them. Is this already on the stone tablets somewhere? Holes in the theory?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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spred

Don Juan
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I think breaking down girls in two categories (your acquaintances and hers) fits the "we are together but have options" mindset.
Gaming her friends might bring drama and collision of "unverses".
 
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