Friend broke another friends heart.

[DX_Flyer]

A good friend of mine whos a senior liked a freshman. So he asked her out and it was all going good for him. He brought her often when we hung out and all that and his girl became good friends with us. Well, we've all been noticing and he mistreats her and such.

A couple days back, he dumped her and now shes really heartbroken, so shes very sad and i guess shes letting it out on. I dont wanna be an emotional tampon but I would like to help her get back her confidence that she lost. How would you guys go about doing this? She is a friend btw.

 

[random afc]

first of all i have to say that the age difference between senior-freshman is too much. that's the drawing line and shouldn't be more than this for many reasons, such as this. but to help this girl, just show her a good time as a friend.

 

[Mack Of All Trades]

Do yourself a favor and steer clear of this situation. You have nothing to gain from being a middleman, instead you have everything to lose.

Dont let your heart overpower your head.

 

[xanderbaz]

LOL... The thrill of a newbie giving advice to a newbie... Welcome both. Now shut the **** up and listen. Listen good:
Stay the **** out of it. Completely. Your friend made an error for dating a girl 3-4 years younger (you were right on, random. By the way, random_afc, I hate your screen name. I hate it so much.), and that's his problem. She made a mistake when she went out with a senior while being freshman, and that's her problem. Stay completely out of it. Don't be a 'shoulder to cry on'. That's ridiculous, and you're going to get tagged as 'that nice guy', and we don't want that to happen now, do we? Your friend broke up with her, so what? She'll live. She has her parents to give her confort, for Christ's sake...
God... You kids think that it's the end of the ****ing world when you break up? Lemme tell ya: it's not. It's good for you, and the reason it's good for you is that by that you'll get more experience and more time to date other people... Ask yourselves: Would you marry and live 40 years together with the first person you dated?

 

[Phrozen]

I dunno wtf these guys are saying, but maybe I'm missing something. Friends are friends, if she's hurt comfort her a little thats what friends are supposed to do. My idea would be to take her under your wing, pick her up dust her off and teach her the DJ ways. She'll get over this one friend faster and she'll probably regain her confidence back and then some. I think having a female friend that knows the game could be an extremely valuable asset if you ever need advice or help.

 

[xanderbaz]

Phrosen, shut the fvuk up. You obviously don't know sh!t so shut it.
Don't you even consider what Phrosen said. That's nonsense.
Respect.

 

[g f l a s h 4 0 0 1]

You can't teach girls DJ ways. It's like teaching a rat to talk. Just doesn't happen.

Try setting up a date with her and going for a fvck close right away, maybe she'll be easier because she's looking for someone to fill the void in her life, hahahahahaha.

 

[jmm854]

It's not your job to be there for her. What happens between two of your friends in a relationship that was going nowhere fast is none of your business. Any attempt to 'be there' for this girl at this point would make it appear that you're taking her side on the issue, whether or not that is the case.

Remember, bros before hoes.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Originally posted by xanderbaz
LOL... The thrill of a newbie giving advice to a newbie... Welcome both. Now shut the **** up and listen. Listen good:
Stay the **** out of it. Completely. Your friend made an error for dating a girl 3-4 years younger (you were right on, random. By the way, random_afc, I hate your screen name. I hate it so much.), and that's his problem. She made a mistake when she went out with a senior while being freshman, and that's her problem. Stay completely out of it. Don't be a 'shoulder to cry on'. That's ridiculous, and you're going to get tagged as 'that nice guy', and we don't want that to happen now, do we? Your friend broke up with her, so what? She'll live. She has her parents to give her confort, for Christ's sake...
God... You kids think that it's the end of the ****ing world when you break up? Lemme tell ya: it's not. It's good for you, and the reason it's good for you is that by that you'll get more experience and more time to date other people... Ask yourselves: Would you marry and live 40 years together with the first person you dated?

Couldn't of said it better myself

 

[DX_Flyer]

Thx for all your help. I will stay out of their way and I wont take any sides either. Thx

 

[-Boogerman-]

I don't know everything but all in this post I know. Xanderbas think he knows everything but your lack of vision disables you from seing clear. You are the one that should shvt up. Your attitude make people afraid to give advice. Your arrogant, all-knowing way of speaking just show your ignorance. A person who think he knows everything just show that he has not understood it all yet. You seem to be a person who only have the knowledge of women but not the experience.

RESPECT

The series go from:

Newbie
Understand the material in a basic way
Arrogant prick or know-it-all attitude
Starts to listen and does own discoveries instead of listening and repeating what others have said
Master who have a deep understanding and implemented the materials in real life with success.

----------------------

I know your attitudes guys, it will only leave you heartbreak and misery if you cannot be a little human sometimes! Talk from EXP. Don't worry so much. Just do what feels good sometimes.

A friend is a friend and you are not an emotional tampoon if you help a friend. If you felt down where would you be if your friends wouldn't cheer you up? If she is down, then be there for her. She is a FRIEND and because she is talking with you is that she feel a strong connection to you. If your other friend becomes angry at you then fukk him. He is not a friend. Always care about your friends, male or female it doens't matter. They are just as an important.

"Remember, bros before hoes." A girl is not worth less than a boy. They are both friends in that sense. You talk about girlfriend and a bro, that is comepletely in that matter, but in this issue it is totaly irrelevant.

Nice written phrosen.

 

[jmm854]

Boogerman, you are right on the money with the progression from an AFC to a DJ. Unfortunately, Xanderbaz knows exactly what he's talking about in this case. It's best to stay out of it.

 

[-Boogerman-]

Well, if you say that I am wrong and he is right then it is also wrong to help friends out and that you shouldn't be there for a friend. If that is the true way of a DJ, then you will never see me here again.

I looked up the word in a dictonary of mine:

(translated freely from my language)

"Friendship; a person you feel positive emotions towards // often appionted with sharing of personal facts, CARING and HELPFUL attitude to the person. // A person you have higher chance of supporting // Someone you spend time with --> see..."

Being a DJ is not about killing the friendship with another person (or merely not be their when needed). As he state in his first message "He brought her often when we hung out and all that and his girl became GOOD FRIENDs with us" She is his friend. Also this other guy; this incident should not effect the friendship with either of them. How many here would not help their friend if he or she was unhappy or sad? Be honest and speak from your heart. Imagine your best friend being heartbroken, would you not care about it?

Friendship is about:

Trust
Interrest in persons life
Loyality
Honesty
Respect
Sacrifice

To quote a famous (and naive) thing I found "A person who is only attracted by the success of a person will leave when the success disappear; a friend is a person who gets closer when everyone turns their back" Something you should think about.

I hope you guys can grow-up and don't force the DJ **** up your ass as you are doing now. Don't dictate your lives by this site. Live by your heart and use your fukking sense of morality sometimes!

 

[DJ Girevik]

xander's advice seems good if you're trying to DJ her but you haven't indicated that you are. If you want to be there for her as a friend then cheer her up but at the same time give her a dose of reality in telling her what xander said about breakups not being the end of the world and that you'll get more experience and more time to date others. And don't act like you're siding against your male friend, even when you and her are talking in private.

 

[Phrozen]

Originally posted by xanderbaz
Phrosen, shut the fvuk up. You obviously don't know sh!t so shut it.
Don't you even consider what Phrosen said. That's nonsense.
Respect.

First of all, you're right I don't know sh!t; however, you appear to be a master. When arguing one should attempt to argue the topic not the person. You didn't even try to contradict my statement with any useful information. Typically I find that this response is taken by those with no argument or by those with below average morals/intelligence.

Secondly, life is not just making places to put your **** at night. Not all relationships have to be in search of sex. If you live your life this way then you are destined for empty and unfulfilling relationships.

Lastly, its Phrozen.

 

[Phrozen]

BTW, the guy who said that you can't teach a girl DJ ways is wrong. Just look for the post on rules girls.

My suggestion was probably miss worded in a way that you thought I meant she should be having 3 boyfriends and playing every guy. What I really meant was to find some way jump start her confidence and learn to be in control of a relationship so that she doesn't have to get hurt in the future.

 

[jmm854]

Hopefully no one dictates their life by sosuave.com.

My reasoning for telling DX not to try to console his friend was simply people associate feelings towards someone based on the situations in which their together. If DX makes an attempt to 'be there' for his new female friend, she'll associate him with the time she broke up with his buddy. I wasn't really considering the moral aspects of the matter.

However, I see your point too Boogerman. It's really a judgement call. Common sense tells us one thing while logic says something else.

 

[-Boogerman-]

Helping a friend will give you things back:

You will deepen the relationship with more trust
If you are down, then they are willing to help you
When I was down a friend of mine cheered me up, I can still rememberthe bad feelings, but none are connected to him. The feelings I got, which was some positive emotions were the ones that I atached to him. You see, if you show that you care and that he or she is important, then they will associate that feeling to you.
You show others that you value friendship

Emotional tampoon however is when someone talk about their problems constantly without giving any back. Very different.

Look, the question was not about if he should DJ her or not, it was about if he should help and comfort a friend who is feeling down. I can't even belive that we have a thread like this. I would never be a friend to any of you if you think with your ass like that. Life is about giving and taking, call me an AFC, but I care for my friends.

 

[xanderbaz]

Don't you guys love it when someone comes to the board (I think the term is newbie, as in newbie...) and slanders you, your advice and everything that you have built (persona, character, etc) that makes you a DJ (ooh, just called myself a DJ, I'm gonna get slandered for this, too) and not a ****ing AFC that's here to learn some shiznaz. Compared to you, I know all I need to know, and thus I am Mr. Know-it-all. Go fork yourself, buddy. I dunno where you got your attitude (from long years of being an AFC, presumably) but I don't like it.
Respect is all I wanted from you, and I didn't get it. BTW, it's spelled 'tampon', not 'tampoon'. And don't give me crap about English not being your mother tongue. It's not mine, either, yet I don't make stupid mistakes. I won't even go into analysis of your post. All I have to say is: "It sucked ass." Go read the DJBible.

Phrozen, I stand corrected, it is a z, not an s. And lemme tell you: someone on the boards once said that asking a girl about other girls is like asking bin Laden about locations of his terrorist camps... Now why would we teach them about DJ ways? So they can screw over the system, again? I never said you can't teach them, I just said that you shouldn't. Is that good of a argument/reasoning against your post for ya, or do you want me to expand the subject? And that witty line about my intelligence... Nice try.

P.S. Wouldn't it be great when all of us with experience would leave the boards and let the newbies give advice to each others... That'd be swell, wouldn't it? What has become of these boards, people?

 

[-Boogerman-]

I will not defend myself from your attacks, everyone know that I am not an AFC and that your statements towards me are all wrong. I know my stuff and there is things I do not know, I have personalized it to me and it works. Experience is not counted in the number of post you make.

I have read the bible at least three times and I agreed with everything the first time I read it. I went out and did pick-up's. I found it boring, so I read the bible again. Saw things I didn't enjoy. Went out again and found it boring. Read it the third time and disagreed with much more. I started to form up my own system for seduction and pick-up's, you may not like it, but it is perfectly syncronized to me and my personality and best of all it works like a charm. You have not shown anything but your talent in insulting people.

"I dunno where you got your attitude (from long years of being an AFC, presumably) but I don't like it."

Who care's what you think? What I make you feel is not my fault it is your inability to control your own emotions. If people make you mad then it is entirely your own fault. You should learn to control yourself.

"All I have to say is: 'It sucked ass.' Go read the DJBible."

I like the way you ignore messages like this. You shold give some thought on what being said instead of ignoring it.

"LOL... The thrill of a newbie giving advice to a newbie... Welcome both. Now shut the **** up and listen. Listen good:"

Maybe it was your period.

"Stay the **** out of it. Completely. Your friend made an error for dating a girl 3-4 years younger (you were right on, random."

You don't give any reason why he should bag a friend because she has broken up with her boyfriend. Be friends with the both of them. Listen if they want to speak but don't become an emotional TAMPON. Just listening once will not give you that mark. Their is a large difference in LISTENING and being a TAMPON.

"By the way, random_afc, I hate your screen name. I hate it so much.),"

You know what I mean.

"and that's his problem. She made a mistake when she went out with a senior while being freshman, and that's her problem. Stay completely out of it. Don't be a 'shoulder to cry on'. That's ridiculous, and you're going to get tagged as 'that nice guy', and we don't want that to happen now, do we?"

People feel threatened by persons who are godlike in their way of moving in life. Displaying a weakness can get people to connect with that person more easily.

"Your friend broke up with her, so what? She'll live. She has her parents to give her confort, for Christ's sake..."

I don't know anyone who goes to their parents and whine about their problems.

"God... You kids think that it's the end of the ****ing world when you break up? Lemme tell ya: it's not. It's good for you, and the reason it's good for you is that by that you'll get more experience and more time to date other people..."

True, true.

"Ask yourselves: Would you marry and live 40 years together with the first person you dated"

True again.