"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Free Drinks or Possible Plate

jaymbrs

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I have a good problem here. Recently a female bartender has been hooking me up with some of my drinks at this local sports bar. Her and I have made a lot of small talk and one day out of the blue she just started leaving a lot of drinks off my tab, making me shots, etc. I haven't overtipped much either. I mean I've thrown an extra couple of bucks but nothing crazy. She is cute but I don't want to ruin this hookup. I haven't asked her for her number or anything. Just keeping that bartender/patron relationship going. I'm just thinking football season is here and I'd like to continue this. However, what do you guys think? Continue getting the mug or get a plate?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Spaz

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If she's "investing" that means sooner rather then later she'll want "returns" on that investment.

Ask her number or she'll start noticing less then profitable "returns" and then she'll stop "investing".
 
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I have a good problem here. Recently a female bartender has been hooking me up with some of my drinks at this local sports bar. Her and I have made a lot of small talk and one day out of the blue she just started leaving a lot of drinks off my tab, making me shots, etc. I haven't overtipped much either. I mean I've thrown an extra couple of bucks but nothing crazy. She is cute but I don't want to ruin this hookup. I haven't asked her for her number or anything. Just keeping that bartender/patron relationship going. I'm just thinking football season is here and I'd like to continue this. However, what do you guys think? Continue getting the mug or get a plate?
You don't even know that you could "get a plate" out of this. You're just assuming that.
 

jaymbrs

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You don't even know that you could "get a plate" out of this. You're just assuming that.
We all have to assume we can get the girl. Thinking negatively will prevent you from getting any girl. Besides, I have a decent track record of getting female bartenders/servers since I used to be in the service industry. I'm able to relate and that's my ice breaker. It works wonders.
 
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