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Frame grab.

lamath

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In before i lost frame and i should next
Truth is
Next is probably incoming my interest is getting lower and lower.


So been seeing this women for like 2 month now. Overall she has been great but lately ive seen her express a need for control in trying to change the way i interact with her, i can see she is trying to get out of my frame into hers.
This annoys me and makes me want to spend less and less time with her.



Told me not to start a txt with 'Hey' because she had a bad experience with an ex.

I agreed and amplified, did not change my txting format

Then last night she did not like the way i anwsered her call. Told me it sounded like i was anwsering to a friend.
Told her this is how i always anwser the phone and that im not a smooth talker kind of guy.

Atm punishing that bad behavior with S&D just because what she did makes me want to distance myself from that kind of crap.

What do you guys think about those frame grab or **** test, is it just doom to happen when dating same person for a few month?


.
 

synecdoche

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Seems like you're both playing games, and you'll both lose.

After a couple of months, unless you held your frame really well, she'll always try to make a beta of you and get you in her frame. Punish bad behavior by withdrawing attention, be willing to walk away, play dread.

Her IL could be already dropping .
 

lamath

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Seems like you're both playing games, and you'll both lose.

After a couple of months, unless you held your frame really well, she'll always try to make a beta of you and get you in her frame. Punish bad behavior by withdrawing attention, be willing to walk away, play dread.

Her IL could be already dropping .
Nah i dont play game.

Truth is i see good qualities in her, but im not invested and she knows im willing to walk and that it would not affect me much.


Yeah i tought that her IL might be dropping, however ive seen some other behavior that makes me think that its most likely not.

I think she cant keep herself from doing this she overthinking stuff way too much and its like subconsciously she does not want to give me all the power, so she is fighting it by creating insignifican issue.

Did not make those thing a big deal but it did annoyed me, i dont like wasting time and energy on sheit like this.
 

bcude

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Wait, you're not even in an official LTR and she says these kinds of things? I would just remind her of that and tell her you're not sure if she's your mom or lover if she continues so she becomes aware of how ridiculous her "requests" are to someone she's only dating.

She sounds like trouble.
 

andreihaha

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She is insecure. She is struggling to remain in your frame, while western ideology is giving her the power. It is hard for her, you know.
If I were you, I'd try to get to this subject with her. Tell her that I don't agree with all this women=men. We can never be equal, our brains are designed in a different way. This will either help her in sticking to your frame and keeping you(the man) dominant in the relationship or get her triggered(if she's really well manipulated and can't see that this feminist propaganda is against her nature). I would even get to the subject from that "Don't start with hey" thing.
But that is just me, those are my beliefs. So if she wouln't feel the same, she's probably not good for ME. For me only.
But this might not be your way of thinking also, I don't know. Subject might be a little sensitive if you like her I guess.
 

lamath

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She projected to you that she is used to getting on guys nerves and end up being put in her place.

Every woman with an abusive ex subconsciously asks for it. They will keep pushing your buttons until lash out at them and then they will play the victim role.

At the end of the day she hates herself and is subconsciously begging to be put down.

You valuing someone who is self hating = making yourself look low value. Eventually she will rationalize that you are low value because in her mind, it’s like how can you like her when she doesn’t like her?

She can never be normal in a healthy relationship. A high value guy in her mind = someone always putting her down and treating her like crap.

And someone tolerating her = low value.

That’s how her mind processes things.

Remember, attraction = wavelength. Two people on different wavelengths are never going to make it work.

I say downgrade her to plate status and kick her to the curb if she becomes too intolerable.

The more dating history a woman has, the more they become like hardened cement bricks. They are no longer moldable like clay and the entire relationship becomes a frame battle.

If a woman doesn’t allow herself to be shaped from the very beginning, there can be no relationship, at least not in the masculine - feminine sense.

Getting into a relationship is similar to adopting a dog. The dog must show that it is willing to obey its new master. It must show that it is willing to learn new tricks.

Unfortunately some dogs are too far gone and either need to stay at the shelter forever or be put down.

This is why it is often suggested that you should adopt puppies (18-25 year old women) that can still be moldable to some degree.

Personally for me, the women I am involved with have a fear of God. I’ve had women bump their butts into me, and then apologize, lol. They are deathly afraid to offend me in any way. That’s because I set the frame from the very beginning.

Actually I don’t really set any frames. The frame is completely imbedded into my presence. All it takes is one look of disappointment and the women start acting right.

Do women always surrender to my frame? No, of course not. But those women disqualify themselves and don’t exist in my world. It never gets to the point where I am involved with a woman and she is still testing me. If that ever happens I would take personal responsibility and ask myself where did I slip up along the way. What part of me ever allowed her to think she could ever test me like that? It’s good to reflect every now and then.
Id say its more insecurities than hating herself, but in a way being insecure is hating yourself.

It feels like she trying to get value by asserting herself on some bs issue. Only happened twice and was not a big deal to shut down but it annoyed me. I got a very low tolerance for non-sense and suseptibe ppl.

In truth i wont be wasting much more time on crap like this.
No one wants a dog that need to be put in his place too often
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Seems like you're both playing games, and you'll both lose.

After a couple of months, unless you held your frame really well, she'll always try to make a beta of you and get you in her frame. Punish bad behavior by withdrawing attention, be willing to walk away, play dread.

Her IL could be already dropping .
+1


2months in and she's out of pocket? I would detonate the situation with her bringing over hotter younger sister.
 

Trump

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Told me not to start a txt with 'Hey' because she had a bad experience with an ex.
I would tell her “I always started a txt with “Hey” with my ex and had a good experience with her.”

Then last night she did not like the way i anwsered her call. Told me it sounded like i was anwsering to a friend.
Told her this is how i always anwser the phone and that im not a smooth talker kind of guy.
I would tell her “This is how I answer all my lovers.”

Atm punishing that bad behavior with S&D just because what she did makes me want to distance myself from that kind of crap.

What do you guys think about those frame grab or **** test, is it just doom to happen when dating same person for a few month?
It’s doomed to happen when she looks at you as a weak man who she can control.
 

lamath

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I've talked about this on some other thread. Whenever a woman tells me she doesn't like something I do, I tell her I do it all the time. And she better get used to it. I purposely pick the side that she hates to show her I have no need for her approval. I express my dominance by staying authentic to myself.

One of two things will happen. Both of your frames will bump heads and cancel each other out, or she will surrender to your dominance. There's no molding yourself to her frame. As soon as you do that, you lose a bit of your masculinity and her respect.

Basically you end up supplicating. Even if you pass all of her qualifications, she will lose attraction for you.

Next time she tries to mold you into her frame, don't try to dodge it and "make peace". Purposely tell her from now on, WHAT SHE HATES is all you will be doing.

Of course, this is assuming you are still interested in plating her.

I'm a grown adult man who's been in Guantanamo Bay prison. Ain't no female is going to be able to tell me how to answer phone calls, lol.

Honestly if I was in your situation, I would probably laugh hysterically for 5 minutes before hanging up the phone on her and then moving on to the next thing on my daily to do list with no emotion whatsoever.

Any woman who judges/rejects my idiosyncrasies, something that is UNIQUE to me, can fvck off.
Good stuff

This is exactly what i do, i wont reward her bad behavior with compliance this would set a bad precedent.

Eitherway when i date a women its to have a good time, if it become tedious i wont hesitate to Next.
I dont do plate but im not thirsty enough to stay with a pain in the ass. Got a few prospect that i can contact when im done.
 

logicallefty

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Oh when they start comparing you to their “abusive ex” you need to head for the hills. Had that **** happen to me.
They all have the abusive ex. Every single dang one of them.

OP, my thought is don't give up on her just yet, but do what a couple of others have suggested and withdraw your attention. This is the most powerful card you have to play. Attention to women is currency, just like sex is to men.

Then after that if she STILL complains about something you do to your dissatisfcation, like your example of how you answered the phone, say "Well, sorry I don't do XYZ the way you prefer. I've always done it this way and the magic 8-ball says I won't be changing that in this lifetime. Plenty of other guys out there who do it they way you prefer I am sure. No hard feelings if you want to bail on me and go find one that meets those needs for you. "
 

lamath

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They all have the abusive ex. Every single dang one of them.

OP, my thought is don't give up on her just yet, but do what a couple of others have suggested and withdraw your attention. This is the most powerful card you have to play. Attention to women is currency, just like sex is to men.

Then after that if she STILL omplains about something you do to your dissatisfcation, like your example of how you answered the phone, say "Well, sorry I don't do XYZ the way you prefer. I've always done it this way and the magic 8-ball says I won't be changing that in this lifetime. Plenty of other guys out there who do it they way you prefer I am sure. No hard feelings if you want to bail on me and go find one that meets those needs for you. "
This is exacly my plan, but i do think that i will have to dump her enventualy because she has a hard time handling her insecurities and i can see how it will become tedious on the long run.
 

logicallefty

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This is exacly my plan, but i do think that i will have to dump her enventualy because she has a hard time handling her insecurities and i can see how it will become tedious on the long run.
Excellent plan. Get as much from her as you can and enjoy her while you have her, and then bail when the pump well gets dry and your arms get tired of trying to pump more out.

This GF I have now, after doing these things with her over the course of several months, she has really toned it down a lot. She now knows that I can and will walk anytime, and, that she can't change me so it's a lost cause and waste of time and energy for her to keep trying. Persistence is key. She rarely challenges me on anything anymore, and when she does, she does it very tactfully rather than brash and dominant like she used to. I even got her to admit that she can be dominant and acts like a man at times, and, that having two male roles in the relationship isn't good for the relationship.
 

lamath

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Excellent plan. Get as much from her as you can and enjoy her while you have her, and then bail when the pump well gets dry and your arms get tired of trying to pump more out.

This GF I have now, after doing these things with her over the course of several months, she has really toned it down a lot. She now knows that I can and will walk anytime, and, that she can't change me so it's a lost cause and waste of time and energy for her to keep trying. Persistence is key. She rarely challenges me on anything anymore, and when she does, she does it very tactfully rather than brash and dominant like she used to. I even got her to admit that she can be dominant and acts like a man at times, and, that having two male roles in the relationship isn't good for the relationship.
Yes only danger is to become the one that care the most and not being able to walk away. Im not experience enough on that aspect to know if it is something that could happen.

However for now in my case i know where i stand in that aspect
I know i got the upper hand, but i will not use that as leverage because if i need to use levevrage it means its time to Next.
 

17 shots

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I once had a woman called me sexist for calling her sexy. She gave some retarded explanation as to why. I don’t remember what I did but I was able to reframe her and had her surrendering to my frame. Eventually she said “you totally made my day.”

However, reframing her took so much energy that it literally sucked the soul out of me. It felt like my life energy went from 100% to 5%.

I left her right where she was at. Even after I left her, I walked into the nearest bar and ordered myself something strong because I felt like I was going to pass out, lol. I ignored all her phone calls and ghosted her as if she never existed.

There is a fine line between “Passing tests” and dealing with a soul sucking emotional vampire.
Yup and it never ends with those types. If it's not one thing it's another. It's not worth it to deal with them even if you know how. They either grow old alone or marry a yes man, real men won't put up with that over and over
 

lamath

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Yup and it never ends with those types. If it's not one thing it's another. It's not worth it to deal with them even if you know how. They either grow old alone or marry a yes man, real men won't put up with that over and over
Yeah i got a feeling its gonna get there soon enough but only 2 very small episode so far. For now its really minor but close to what i will tolerate.
 
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