Alright dude, so I was talking to this girl named Nikki this morning in band. She opened me eventually and I started to do some shock and awe to raise buying temperature. I basically went "Wow, you're looking so hot today, I mean seriously why are you doing this to me women? Honestly though, do you expect guys not to be nervous around you when you flaunt it so much?" and she was like "Flaunting?" laughing and stuff. Then I teased her about looking at me a certain way and she's like "Well do you want me to stop?". Blah blah, so things are going well from there and as her buying temperature is raised, I escalate by putting my hand on her shoulder. We talk for a while after that, but then I put my arm around her and she's like "Remember, the boyfriend deal?" and I take my arm off and this is probably what killed the set, because she broke up with her boyfriend, so it was probably a sh1t test. After that the set slowly died.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
FR: Where'd I go wrong?
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2007
- Messages
- 1,137
- Reaction score
- 11
Honestly, you probably didn't do anything wrong, unless she saw the calling her hot thing a complement from a "nice guy." Didn't seem like it to me. In fact it seems like you did everything perfectly. Your a skilled DJ, and you can never forget that sometimes girls just don't have that interest for you. They could be attracted of course, but attraction ≠ interest.
ONE small thing might be not escalating the right way. You said you put your hand on her shoulder, then your arm around her. Maybe it just didn't work out for her. It's probably worked before for you, as its worked for me at times, but maybe she didn't want to be seen as a slut, already having another guys arms around her when she just broke up with a guy.
ONE small thing might be not escalating the right way. You said you put your hand on her shoulder, then your arm around her. Maybe it just didn't work out for her. It's probably worked before for you, as its worked for me at times, but maybe she didn't want to be seen as a slut, already having another guys arms around her when she just broke up with a guy.
Lord Shinra
Senior Don Juan
Don't see anything overtly wrong. The only thing might be she got some buyers remorse after opening. Its happened to me. I usually just next them or turn them into pivots to use when I go out.
Usually, the chick competition dynamic comes out and shes on me before she realizes.
Usually, the chick competition dynamic comes out and shes on me before she realizes.
Grand Wizzard Alamar
Master Don Juan
Not bad on the confidence. Your only problem was saying things like "wow you're looking so hot today," cause it puts her ass on a big fat pedestal and she knows she's got you so it's like you're not a challenge to her and shes turned off, though still likes the compliments.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Johnny_Kage
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2007
- Messages
- 139
- Reaction score
- 3
I agree with GWA. You telegraphed WAY too much interest. She was teasing you. Never compliment an attractive girl's looks: pick-up 101. Next time you're in that class, let her come up to you, then C&F the **** out of her. And no escalation until she shows some interest (and even then escalation is best done in more of a private setting). Still, I don't see any reason why you can't hook-up with this girl. Just make sure you talk to other girls to avoid getting too attached to this one.
- Kage
- Kage