FR: What to do with girl I met off craigslist

[jophil28]

I teased her a lot about changing the bar. She admitted that she would have caved if I had pushed back on it. She wanted somewhere closer to her as it was cold.
.

The 'womanspeek' translation. " I love testing the limits of my power and control with men and you just gave me another chunk by agreeing to change the location to comply with my faked up 'reason'. This is a fun game Vorbis.
It is cold outside but is is equally cold for you but that meant nothing to me.
Now lets play the touchy kissy game to keep you interested for a while ."

Vorbis, if you somehow bang this woman I am going to air mail you a gold plated boomerang...ha ha !

 

[mrRuckus]

Interested women come to you.

I have a girl driving down an hour from DC to see me regularly now. She's hot, smart, and witty. We have fun. She drives home, texts me that she had fun and thanks me for the good time. She then asks "can i come see you again on Friday?" She spent a day making me baked goods last week so she could bring them to me. She asks what *I* want to do. She watches football with me and my buddies despite "i hate football."

Seriously, i barely bother with girls that are lukewarm.

I just don't have the patience or drive to deal with ones not actively showing some sort of interest or at least quickly and gladly accepting my calls and invites.

Recently i went out with one chick 3 times. I called her, she didn't answer, and i never called back. Haven't heard from her in a month now. Big deal. I mentioned her to some friends, and they are insistent that i should've kept trying. If she were really into me she would have made some sort of contact after I tried. Earlier she HAD asked me to get together again so she's not the sort who never does that. Another girl I met up with once has tried texting me a few times in the past 2 weeks now, poking at my interest to see if i'll ask her out again or whatever. I guess I never have because I'm enjoying the one from DC.

OP, you live in Boston? That's a big city! You have a million options. Who cares about the thoughts of just one? I live in the middle of no where with far less options, and it doesn't matter to me that much.

 

[vorbis]

I'll see out it pans out. I'll agree that it hasn't been my finest moment seduction wise

On the plus side, she's alright to hang out with and I've only met her on weeknights that i wasn't doing anything else on. Not much of an opportunity cost. And expense wise, I've spent a grand total of 18 bucks total on two dates so far.

I agree mrRuckus about pursuing interested women. I think this one is interested (asks me a lot of questions about myself and my family and always returns calls, texts etc.) but either has some hangups about sex or is trying to be a good girl. Neither are good obviously. My viewpoint is that it's not costing me much money or using up my weekends so I'll see how it pans out.

 

[trent81]

Women need to be comfortable to have sex with a man. Unless they are slutvs or are broke. Just take your time, what's the matter with you? Who cares if you spend money. It will happen, give it time.

 

[trent81]

I wish I was in a big city, I have nothing here. I live in a city of less than half a million. Keep dating chicks as long as you have the time and the funds, you will get laid none stop soon.

 

[Solomon]

I wish I was in a big city, I have nothing here. I live in a city of less than half a million. Keep dating chicks as long as you have the time and the funds, you will get laid none stop soon.

Half a Million? try living in a city with 60,000 and the biggest party town in my state has only 400,000 people....now that's small.

I wish I lived in Cali or NY where the is an abudndance of women....

 

[vorbis]

update:
Things have been progressing a bit.
Last Saturday, she texted me saying that she was thinking of going to a club near where I live. I said that I might end up there later that night with my friends. I wasn't sure at the time whether we would be going there. Later on she texts me that she has decided to head home rather than go to this club. I rang her (probably a mistake as I was fairly hammered) about it and she said she thought from my texts that I did not want to meet up with her that evening. She didn't say this in a *****y tone, sounded more like a genuine misunderstanding imo. I dind't feel upset my it myself and had a good night anyways.

Somehow ended up agreeing to go to church on Sunday together (we're both Catholic but even still was a bit unusual).
We went to church and afterwards went for tea. She wouldn't invite me back to her place as she wanted me to invite her to my place first.
This seemed like a power play so I just ignored what she said. After the tea, she went home to finish some college work. I was feeling pissed off about the way it had all gone (hangover didn't help)

She's out of town till next week since yesterday. I had a work night out on Tuesday night and during it I get a text from her saying its a pity I'm busy as she has her apartment to herself. I take the none to subtle hint and get myself invited over for a "late night cup of tea". I'm planning at this point to pm my address to Jophil28 for that gold plated boomerang. However, she's not that receptive to even making out at her place.
She comes out with this line about needing to be more comfortable with someone before making out with them

I told her that I could understand that regards sex but not regards making out. Otherwise, we'd barely be above friends. We chilled on the couch chatting and she began to loosen up a bit. Again I didn't bang her but by the time I had to leave to get the subway, we were at least making out properly. The main reason she's still around is that I have a good time chatting to her. She actually shows interest in what I do and asks intelligent questions. I work as a software developer and the last girl I went on a few dates went "Oh you work in front of a computer all day". I like my job and show other people some interest in what they do for a living. This girl for instance had me show her the site I work on and the parts that I had to do. I'm hoping she's just being shy and doesn't have some major hang ups about sex.

She's still meeting my criteria of not wasting my "valuable time" (Friiday night and Saturday) so I'll see how it goes. She wants us to cook dinner together at my place when she comes back. I think I'll nix that idea and go out for dinner instead.

 

[Tazman]

I'd say things are fine as long as she's not the only girl on your radar. The thing about her saying she doesn't kiss someone until she's more "comfortable" is nonsense. You and her are "alone" in her apartment, how much more comfortable can things get? Especially since she invited you over. It could be some ASD and/or an attempt to control the frame, which she pretty much has because you're going along with all of this.

Personally, if she told me she's not comfortable enough to kiss I would've said "Well I don't want to be here if you aren't comfortable" and I would've left. She has to believe that you have other options or she'll just string you along making you believe that she has you waiting for the "prize" between her thighs. I think Rollo has an iron rule about this.

Never put up with a woman who makes you wait for sex because the sex is never worth the wait. It has nothing to do with comfort levels and everything to do with "controlling" you. She needs to feel anxious about this, not like she's the one calling the shots. I say blow through any ASD she throws out and if you get a genuine "no" I'd move on to the next. Things with her seem pretty text book so far.