"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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FR: Wait... I got a FR!? Yeah I do

slitherjef

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Well, tonight after work, I had a coffee date with that cute 7 from work. We walked up to starbucks, chatting along the way. She started talking about work, I changed the subject after a couple minutes to focus on her as we walked. Once we got to the coffee shop I asked how we should handle this, then I said, "I got this round, you get the next one". We ordered, I paid, got got our drinks and went to have a set on the sofa.

We sat down at the ends of the couch, I was on one end, she on the other facing at an angle from each other, mostly facing forward. (now that I think of it, not so sure this was a good sign) but we talked, I asked most of the questions, relating when I could. Got her to laugh here and there, even poking a little fun at her. I say I got her to do about 90% of the talking. There was some eye contact. While talking I kept my focus on her, I mean, looking at her. I was a bit nervous, there was brief periods of quietness, but nothing longer then say 15 seconds. I was relaxed, was sitting back, had my arm on the back of the couch, facing her general direction most of the time.

At one point of the conversation she said she don't back down from dares I shot her a sly smile and replied, "Hmmm... that is an interesting piece of information to have" she said might not be the best thing to be telling people :D

We finish up our drinks and I tell her I would walk her back up to the store where her bike was, I was headed that way anyway. Walking back we talked more, asking her what type of music she liked and we had a good conversation about that.

I walked her back to her bike and wrapped things up for the "Date" I was leaning on the bike rack, got up, told her I had fun, walked over to her and gave her a hug. One handed hug. She gave me a hug back, said she had fun. Told her I would see her tomorrow at work. As I walked away, I told her I was going to dare her to cook for me :) she smiled

All in all, I realize I made a few errors. But it was my first date. Ever. I hope none of the mistakes where glaring ones. I failed to do any kino until the end of the date, but since I work around her, I did not want to come accross as some horny b@stard who only wanted one thing. And she was sitting on the other end of the couch. Or so those where the excuses I used to my self. At least I did not shake her hand LOL

I realize I may just friendzoned, but its all good. I will try for a 2nd date, see if I can get her to cook for me and we can watch a movie at her place. If date two happens I will escalate things - kiss close.

---

A few quick after thoughts. I was nervous, but I met up with her, all that went away. If things don't pan out with her, like if I get LJBFs I just proved to MYSELF that I CAN actualy get a girl to go out with me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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slitherjef said:
...We finish up our drinks and I tell her I would walk her back up to the store where her bike was, ....
Uhhhhh..... Her bike? You don't work at a grade school do you? Just thought it would be good to get that clarified... :cool:
 

slitherjef

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Uhhhhh..... Her bike? You don't work at a grade school do you? Just thought it would be good to get that clarified... :cool:
No. Nothing like that. She bikes to work. We work at a grocery store. :rolleyes: Its a job :)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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zerocelcius

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:up: "I'll Dare you to cook for me" ... Suggestive! Very Nice!
 

PectoralisMajor

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Good work - you've got good potential to go far.

Now some of your aims to progress should be to spark womens emotions during your time with them.

Definately touch when you can - it makes them feel comfortable.

The MOST important thing I wish someone had told me 5 yars ago when wth women is have fun no matter what, with whoever, whenever. Have fun and you cant go wrong.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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zerocelcius said:
:up: "I'll Dare you to cook for me" ... Suggestive! Very Nice!
Not taking away from slitherjef's successful date, but she just smiled; she didn't say she should. Also, progression is good but I'm wondering about the level of mutual comfort that existed to go from the first date to her cooking dinner for him. Perhaps that's why she just smiled and didn't give a definitive answer.
 

Jukeboxhero

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Awesome Job for you first date ever Slitherjef!

I think you did everything REALLY well for the lack of experience that you've had. At least your not on her begging us to help you keep her because you must have her and you just made some terrible AFC mistakes that had her friendzoning you!! Hahaha, I seem to be seeing a lot of those kinda posts around here.

Anyways, great job...keep it up.
 

slitherjef

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I did see her today, she seemed like she usualy does with me. I ran into her going into work, I asked her where she was going, she told me subway. I said ah and we went on our ways. For a moment there, I actualy thought about tagging along with her, but decided not to.

Today was her last day of work for about a week. I did not go over to her or say much aside from when I ran into her in the back room and made a bit of small talk with her, asking if she was getting excited about her trip. Asked a couple questions about how she was traveling, which was car, train, plane. I made a joke telling her she needed a boat in there too. She smiled and kind of laughed. I started off and told her to have a safe, fun trip... she replied, "What!?" as she had gone into the freezer, and I repeated my self, Slowing down just a bit, Told her to have a nice safe trip, I would see her when she got back. She said yes, shaking her head yes a little bit as well.

I see her a few moments before she exits the store as I was chatting with someone else and says, "Bye" (to both of us).

I WILL attempt a second date when she gets back, well when she is back for a couple days. Maybe ask her when she is going to show off her cooking skills to me.

Right now, I believe getting a 2nd date is key. If I do get one, then I know I done something right on the first date. That and I also want to escalate things
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bible_Belt

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For a moment there, I actualy thought about tagging along with her, but decided not to.

Score another point for you. Good job.

Don't sit around and think about her all week. Go talk to other girls. But you are doing well, keep it up.
 
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