"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FR : Useless weekend.

Warrior74

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This weekend was a complete bust. At first I thought I was going to be with my daughter, but between her and her mother things didn't work out. I find this out friday night just after I gassed up the car and was just leaving town to go get her ( they stay about 2hrs away). That's okay, next weekend is easter so we'll have a good one together her and I.

So I turn around and head back home. No plans...its 7pm and everyone already has plans for the evening. I call it a night and have a quiet Friday night in on the internetz and watching movies.

Saturday I clean house, wash the car, take clothes to the cleaners, all that maintenance stuff. Have dinner with some friends, including one of my buddies who has no game. We chop up game and he refuses to listen to any of our friends suggestions for improvements...so...I leave his house and go out solo. I get a text from two new girls. They both are out, but they are going to dance clubs and I was in a rock n roll state of mind. I head out to the grand opening of a new rock venue and run into a friend of mine and her husband, its her birthday, party time!

We start off with jager shots and it goes down hill from there. Honestly the whole time I kept thinking how I would rather be with my daughter, it throws me off when it's not my weekend. I usually have things lined up for my free weekends. The birthday girl has a cute friend in town for the weekend. We hit it off....good conversation, she buys me two rounds, I reciprocate. Until her azzhole ex boyfriend shows up. I'm not one of those AMOG type of guys, so I end up talking to these two hairdressers. Got ****blocked by the fat one who drags the hot one off to another bar. I get her number before we go.

We pick up a few extras and the whole group heads off to an after hours place....for some reason, (probably because of the massive drunk I had on at the moment) fat girls start thinking they have a chance. At this point the azzhole ex is gone but now I can't get these fat chics out of my face. I get pissed and start asking the big girls their sizes. They call me a jerk and they leave. The cute girl tells me I'm being a d1ck just like her ex and stops talking to me. I'm not happy. Nobody likes me. I get a text from one of the girls I wanted to hook up with earlier, they are at some hood club where someone just got shot a few weeks ago, I tell her when she stops being being ghetto to call me. She tells me to go F myself. I'm a complete jerk. Drunk, a lil depressed and horny I start hitting on the redhead slut bartender and ask her how much coke she does in a week and if she likes anal, I get asked to leave the bar. I know the owner so he lets me stay.
I call the hairdresser, she doesn't pick up. I text her and she says shes at the hotel going to bed. F! The party winds down, I go to another afterhours spot and throw em back until I can't see straight and finally make my way home.

Yes I did everything pretty much wrong last night, not to mention a hellacious hangover headache today. But F it, I have to tell you guys the good with the bad. And this was as bad as it has been in years.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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wait_out

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Well don't take it too hard man. I know from your post-history you're one of those relentless self-improvement guys warrior, but as much as we deny it we're all human and everyone has an off day, week, month, whatever. Be very careful about redlining stress for too long or it will express itself in ways you wouldn't expect. I don't post all the dumb or regressive AFC **** I do but trust me it's there.

Do some damage control if it's practical and focus on next weekend with your daughter. And at least you have some good stories for the future! Always a saving grace of being a walking disaster.

"Did you say my dress was too tight?"
"I don't know... turn around"
 

Greasy Pig

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I take great enjoyment out of my post mortems after one of those lost nights out. You have to laugh at yourself sometimes otherwise you'd go nuts.
 

BeyondCharm

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It sounds like you were more focused on alcohol entering your system than anything else. Perhaps try a night out without the booze and see if you have different results, or do you need it in order to socialize? It sounds like it affected your attitude as the night wore on.
 

Don Israel

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The alcohol MIGHT have encouraged the rest of the night to go downhill, but i'm pretty sure that's not what that made the OP's weekend "useless".

IF I planned on seeing my daughter and ended up not being able to, no amount of HBs could/ would replace that.





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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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