"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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FR: Talked to a girl.

ElStud

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Talked to a girl here's how it went:

[I tap her on her shoulder]
Me: Are you going to homecoming?
Girl: Oh, I don't know.
Me: Ah, well I'm gonna be there so you know it'll be fun. My friend is also having this party next Saturday after band that'll be really cool. There'll be a pool party, video games, food, it'll be cool. And yeah, we can't have JUST band people there, that would get kind of boring.
Girl: Will you be there?
Me: Yeah.
Me: So are you going?
Girl: Yeah, I might.
Me: Well if you need the information for where it's going to be at just talk to me.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Charm

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You've done exactly what this site tells you not to do. You're insecurity in simply asking her out caused you to relapse into the attitude of the doomed "PROVIDER". Here, you are seen providing here with party details: "If you need info for where it's going to be at just talk to me".

Instead, you want to be saying:

"I can pick you up around 7oclock while i'm on my way to the party." - Look at her for response.

If she says:
"Sure, that sounds great"
You say:
Here's my phone, put your number in it. (she puts in number).

Now you can either get directions to her place on the spot (I recommend this) or call her later for them.

If she says: "No thanks" you can say "Well, i'm sure there will be some other awesome parties. See you around." and walk off.
OR
"Well, that leaves a spot open then for some other lucky lady."
 

WesCottII

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Just a tip, never approach a woman from behind.
 

Kev07

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Charm said:
You've done exactly what this site tells you not to do. You're insecurity in simply asking her out caused you to relapse into the attitude of the doomed "PROVIDER". Here, you are seen providing here with party details: "If you need info for where it's going to be at just talk to me".

Instead, you want to be saying:

"I can pick you up around 7oclock while i'm on my way to the party." - Look at her for response.

If she says:
"Sure, that sounds great"
You say:
Here's my phone, put your number in it. (she puts in number).

Now you can either get directions to her place on the spot (I recommend this) or call her later for them.

If she says: "No thanks" you can say "Well, i'm sure there will be some other awesome parties. See you around." and walk off.
OR
"Well, that leaves a spot open then for some other lucky lady."

Yep, seconding this.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ElStud

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So I found out the party is APPARENTLY tommorow, so should I just find her and ask "So what time should I pick you up?". Problem, I have no car.
 

Charm

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^ agree with Kev. You already blew it and you are still doubting yourself by asking us if you should ask her. Eliminate this self-doubt. Treat your dating life as a social experiment and take risks.

Does this girl show any interest level in you already? Do any other girls? Perhaps you should just go to this party and meet new girls at the party?
 

ElStud

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Charm said:
^ agree with Kev. You already blew it and you are still doubting yourself by asking us if you should ask her. Eliminate this self-doubt. Treat your dating life as a social experiment and take risks.

Does this girl show any interest level in you already? Do any other girls? Perhaps you should just go to this party and meet new girls at the party?
Well she was playing with her hair if that means anything.

Why not just meet new girls? I know all the girls in band already.
 

Charm

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Always meet new girls. You shouldn't even have to ask me that ;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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