"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FR: Supermarket Approach

PhatE1vis

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I love reading field reports...I think they're some of the most helpful things on this board. So I want to contribute one of my own. Here's an approach that worked for me yesterday at lunch:

I see a girl in my local supermarket checking out one of the cases filled with sodas and drinks. She's standing there for about 5 minutes before I approach.

Elvis: Hi, how are you?
HBcute: Good, how are you?
Elvis: Not bad, but I see you've been standing here for a couple of minutes. Lucky for you, I'm an expert at picking out drinks for women.
HBcute: oh really? (with a little laugh).
Elvis: yep, ever since I was a kid. People would come far and wide to have me pick out drinks for them.
Elvis: so let me see (touch her shoulder to turn her my way a little, look into her eyes and then quick up-and-down). You're fit, but you don't strike me as a diet soda kind of girl.
HBcute: (blushing a little) well, sometimes I am, but not today.
Elvis: How about a snapple?
HBcute: No.
Elvis: SoBe.
HBcute: No.
Elvis: Water.
HBcute: no.
Elvis: Man, I can see you're going to be a tough one, but I'm not discouraged. Listen, I've got to get going, but give me your number and we can pick this up later.
HBcute: sure!

One thing that I think made this a success for me - I didn't over-think it. I just saw her, didn't wait or think too much about what to say, and it flowed naturally.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Lust

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PhatE1vis said:
I love reading field reports...I think they're some of the most helpful things on this board. So I want to contribute one of my own. Here's an approach that worked for me yesterday at lunch:

I see a girl in my local supermarket checking out one of the cases filled with sodas and drinks. She's standing there for about 5 minutes before I approach.

Elvis: Hi, how are you?
HBcute: Good, how are you?
Elvis: Not bad, but I see you've been standing here for a couple of minutes. Lucky for you, I'm an expert at picking out drinks for women.
HBcute: oh really? (with a little laugh).
Elvis: yep, ever since I was a kid. People would come far and wide to have me pick out drinks for them.
Elvis: so let me see (touch her shoulder to turn her my way a little, look into her eyes and then quick up-and-down). You're fit, but you don't strike me as a diet soda kind of girl.
HBcute: (blushing a little) well, sometimes I am, but not today.
Elvis: How about a snapple?
HBcute: No.
Elvis: SoBe.
HBcute: No.
Elvis: Water.
HBcute: no.
Elvis: Man, I can see you're going to be a tough one, but I'm not discouraged. Listen, I've got to get going, but give me your number and we can pick this up later.
HBcute: sure!

One thing that I think made this a success for me - I didn't over-think it. I just saw her, didn't wait or think too much about what to say, and it flowed naturally.
Nice mate.

You were cool, you were fun. You kept it light and positive, and didn't take up 20 minutes of her time.

You built enough attraction for her to give you the number, at the time, but I think to avoid flaking, you'll need remind her of your intelligent, humorous self with another joke along the same lines on the phone.
 

themaster07

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great job,jokes were funny and you got kino happening,you gotta keep a "cool and collected" vibe to pull something like that off,well done
 

PhatE1vis

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So how long do I wait to follow up with her? Given the short interaction, I'm thinking a couple of days.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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kdnash82

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Good going. My pickups are usually upbeat and funny like yours also. Like Lust said, I always end up following up with a funny phone call. I'm not a funny guy, so most of the funny stops after those two occasions.
 

Stuntmann

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Did you call her up, she's going out with you?


Number's a good thing, getting that girl out with you is different. I'm interested in hearing what will happen next, so keep us posted.
 

themaster07

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theres no real rules to it,but me personally would wait 2-3 days,(so you dont get too keen and ruin it),and like the other guy said before,use a joke or something to keep the vibe going that you had,but dont over do it just get it going then it'll all happen for ya
 

Lust

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PhatE1vis said:
So how long do I wait to follow up with her? Given the short interaction, I'm thinking a couple of days.
I wouldn't wait any long than 2 days.

There is a misconception that if you call the next day, you are needy. If you do it RIGHT, you will not project neediness.

I would wait a day and call her, follow up with something humorous. What you don't want is to wait too long for her buying temperature to cool down, she won't remember you in 2 or more days, you didn't have a deep meaningful conversation with her, you cracked a joke and got her number, thus, you want to keep the fun-party-boy image. Not some bs, "I'm too busy for you" shizz.
 
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