"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FR: Supermarket Approach

PhatE1vis

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I love reading field reports...I think they're some of the most helpful things on this board. So I want to contribute one of my own. Here's an approach that worked for me yesterday at lunch:

I see a girl in my local supermarket checking out one of the cases filled with sodas and drinks. She's standing there for about 5 minutes before I approach.

Elvis: Hi, how are you?
HBcute: Good, how are you?
Elvis: Not bad, but I see you've been standing here for a couple of minutes. Lucky for you, I'm an expert at picking out drinks for women.
HBcute: oh really? (with a little laugh).
Elvis: yep, ever since I was a kid. People would come far and wide to have me pick out drinks for them.
Elvis: so let me see (touch her shoulder to turn her my way a little, look into her eyes and then quick up-and-down). You're fit, but you don't strike me as a diet soda kind of girl.
HBcute: (blushing a little) well, sometimes I am, but not today.
Elvis: How about a snapple?
HBcute: No.
Elvis: SoBe.
HBcute: No.
Elvis: Water.
HBcute: no.
Elvis: Man, I can see you're going to be a tough one, but I'm not discouraged. Listen, I've got to get going, but give me your number and we can pick this up later.
HBcute: sure!

One thing that I think made this a success for me - I didn't over-think it. I just saw her, didn't wait or think too much about what to say, and it flowed naturally.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Lust

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PhatE1vis said:
I love reading field reports...I think they're some of the most helpful things on this board. So I want to contribute one of my own. Here's an approach that worked for me yesterday at lunch:

I see a girl in my local supermarket checking out one of the cases filled with sodas and drinks. She's standing there for about 5 minutes before I approach.

Elvis: Hi, how are you?
HBcute: Good, how are you?
Elvis: Not bad, but I see you've been standing here for a couple of minutes. Lucky for you, I'm an expert at picking out drinks for women.
HBcute: oh really? (with a little laugh).
Elvis: yep, ever since I was a kid. People would come far and wide to have me pick out drinks for them.
Elvis: so let me see (touch her shoulder to turn her my way a little, look into her eyes and then quick up-and-down). You're fit, but you don't strike me as a diet soda kind of girl.
HBcute: (blushing a little) well, sometimes I am, but not today.
Elvis: How about a snapple?
HBcute: No.
Elvis: SoBe.
HBcute: No.
Elvis: Water.
HBcute: no.
Elvis: Man, I can see you're going to be a tough one, but I'm not discouraged. Listen, I've got to get going, but give me your number and we can pick this up later.
HBcute: sure!

One thing that I think made this a success for me - I didn't over-think it. I just saw her, didn't wait or think too much about what to say, and it flowed naturally.
Nice mate.

You were cool, you were fun. You kept it light and positive, and didn't take up 20 minutes of her time.

You built enough attraction for her to give you the number, at the time, but I think to avoid flaking, you'll need remind her of your intelligent, humorous self with another joke along the same lines on the phone.
 

themaster07

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great job,jokes were funny and you got kino happening,you gotta keep a "cool and collected" vibe to pull something like that off,well done
 

PhatE1vis

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So how long do I wait to follow up with her? Given the short interaction, I'm thinking a couple of days.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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kdnash82

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Good going. My pickups are usually upbeat and funny like yours also. Like Lust said, I always end up following up with a funny phone call. I'm not a funny guy, so most of the funny stops after those two occasions.
 

Stuntmann

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Did you call her up, she's going out with you?


Number's a good thing, getting that girl out with you is different. I'm interested in hearing what will happen next, so keep us posted.
 

themaster07

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theres no real rules to it,but me personally would wait 2-3 days,(so you dont get too keen and ruin it),and like the other guy said before,use a joke or something to keep the vibe going that you had,but dont over do it just get it going then it'll all happen for ya
 

Lust

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PhatE1vis said:
So how long do I wait to follow up with her? Given the short interaction, I'm thinking a couple of days.
I wouldn't wait any long than 2 days.

There is a misconception that if you call the next day, you are needy. If you do it RIGHT, you will not project neediness.

I would wait a day and call her, follow up with something humorous. What you don't want is to wait too long for her buying temperature to cool down, she won't remember you in 2 or more days, you didn't have a deep meaningful conversation with her, you cracked a joke and got her number, thus, you want to keep the fun-party-boy image. Not some bs, "I'm too busy for you" shizz.
 
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