"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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FR: Orbiters paying my booze!

SandHawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
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Amsterdam, Netherlands
I had the most hilarious thing happen to me last night. I hooked up with one of my girls for some booze and fun. I was with a good friend who had some emotional problems so I was cheering her up and having a good convo, so I got called several times where the hell I was.

So, eventually we hooked up, she appeared overly joyous and had a total of 3 orbiters with her. The moment I came in, I received a shot of tequila followed by a beer. To show a bit of decency I paid for a round when 2 other guys went to the toilet together(the f*ck, I thought girls are supposed to do that) and when they came back(like 10 minutes later, I wonder if they had a quicky) they left. So, it was me, her and her orbiter.

He was pretty far gone already and wanted to bounce to a different joint. I never been there, so agreed and regretted it the moment I saw the place. Went inside, she grabs my d*ck, we danced a bit on the dance floor with her grinding her ass into my crotch, followed by some more d*ck groping and a bit of kissing. Orbiter sees us dance and starts buying alcohol. For all of us, and he keeps on buying booze. I had quite some booze last night, and it cost me a total of 5 euros!

I wear earplugs when I go out to bars or clubs. It lowers the music volume to a safe level, filters out a lot of the background noise and makes it easier to hear people speak. So I'm leaning back at the bar, I see him grabbing her arm, pull her towards him, attempts to kiss, she evades and he shouts into her ear "So, what are you gonna do? Are you going home with me or him?". She tells him she's going home alone, he purchases me some more booze, says bye and leaves. We bounced after 5 minutes, took her home and showed her the corners of my bedroom. Epic night!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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kingsam

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2010
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England, baby!
aww the poor little clueless jealous AFC!:crackup:
SH this is a good example of when not giving a fu.ck or caring what happens MAKEs you more sucessful!
 

GetOveIT

Don Juan
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Mar 1, 2010
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You sir are epic, and have a true grasp how things are done.
 
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