"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FR: Mixed results on date

TheBaconator

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As some of you know from my previous posts I set up a date with an old friend of my ex's, well now i'm here to tell and get advice on where to go from here. Overall the date was a lot of fun, but the only thing that messed it up in the end was this girls ex bf.

The origional plan was for us to go to the zoo, but we ended up taking the wrong train which we both thought was hilarious and then figured it was too late and just decided to walk the city. We went to the museum of sex which was interesting and other then that just pretty much walked and talked for the whole day. From about 12 to 6 we just had a great time walking and pretty much being lost with nothing to do. We talked about everything from school to sex to our exs and sh*t.

So she was supposed to go home and possibly meet up with her ex (whom she said she just started hookin up with again, i didn't know about this) but I convince her that she would have more fun just stayin out with me for some drinks. I hadn't made a move yet because she wasn't giving me strong signs yet and I was just enjoying the day.

So we go to a couple of bars and get tipsy, then end up going to some BS comedy show where we mock the corny ass comedians. Then she gets a call from her ex and finds out hes out at the club with a friend and two girls. She gets upset and I tell her shes such a hypocrite (in a good way though, she laughs at it cuz she knows i'm right) and then I pull her for a kiss. She says "no I can't your **** ex" but doesn't stop and then begins to kiss back. She is still upset about the ex, so much that she wants to go back to brooklyn to the place where he is to beat up the girl. I try to convice her that it's not the girl she should be mad at and that she shouldn't really be mad at all, but she doesn't listen. So this girl is drunk and I can't let her be travling on the trains and walking the streets alone so I agree to go back with her and then we will split a car home.

We go back to BK, but she doesn't end up seeing the ex, just has some convo with him while I was chilling and I assume it ended pretty bad because she was still upset, and now she was saying they were done for good. So we take a car home and hook up when she leaves, tells me she will call me tommorow, and that's the date. I know she had a great time all day up until the end, and so did I, so like I said it was mixed results.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Bat

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She still keeps her ex around AND tells you about it?

I hope you are not looking for anything serious from her. And my god, man, a 6 hour (possibly longer?) date? What is she your best friend or wife that you're willing to spend almost half of your day with her on the first date?

Honestly, I think you might become friend zoned if you keep going out on "dates" with her. Just lay this girl next time and don't expect anything serious from her.
 

TheBaconator

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I wasn't looking for anything serious, nor am I now, like I said I just figrued to go out and have a good time, which is what I did. And we were friends before so we had alot of older memories to talk about.

I don't care if she had the ex around, it didn't nor does it bother me. If she goes back with him I chalk it up as a learning experience, if not then who knows.
 

DavenJuan

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i know its easier said than done..

but there are plenty of women out there who isnt "dramatized" with their ex boyfriend.

the whole time you are telliing this story im just wanderin' how the ex would act if he found out YOU were hanging out with his ex gf? she wanted to beat his date up, how do you know he wouldnt feel the same way?

plus the biggest issue is the fact that she could care less that she was telling you about hooking up with some other guy when YOU guys were hanging out. she wanted to leave and go meet up with this other guy while he was on a date..

bad news brother.. trust me... STAY AWAY
 

TheBaconator

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DavenJuan said:
i know its easier said than done..

but there are plenty of women out there who isnt "dramatized" with their ex boyfriend.

the whole time you are telliing this story im just wanderin' how the ex would act if he found out YOU were hanging out with his ex gf? she wanted to beat his date up, how do you know he wouldnt feel the same way?

plus the biggest issue is the fact that she could care less that she was telling you about hooking up with some other guy when YOU guys were hanging out. she wanted to leave and go meet up with this other guy while he was on a date..

bad news brother.. trust me... STAY AWAY
I hear what you are saying, she didn't tell the ex bf about goin out with me so I don't gotta worry about that. And also, I talked to her about how i'm seeing other women, so I really didn't think it was that big of a deal. It's not like we were gonna be exclusive after a date, or anytime soon for that matter.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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