FR: Library

[goodfoot]

I don't see why you're going to the library pretending to need help with books when you see this girl twice a week at school. You're chasing when you should be attracting. Going by your post, it seems like she knows you wanted to get her number the first or second time you went there. Going there again makes it seem like you just now built up the courage to try to number close. At this point you need to be direct as possible to show you can be a man and take what you want.

 

[Darth]

"I would like to get to know you more. What do you have planned Saturday night?"

Damn. It is so painfully clear to me now that I should have done this already after class (which she was expecting me to, now that I think about it). But I was all caught up in what was the right way to act.

I was being a pu$$y.

The next possible time I can get her one-on-one, I will be a man and do this.

If I don't get an opportunity on Thursday, I will make one this Saturday.

Thank you dude for helping me sort through this. Nothing like an outside perspective to get my butt in gear.


EDIT:

Going by your post, it seems like she knows you wanted to get her number the first or second time you went there.

Well, not really. The first time I was there, she was trying in vain to get my attention because I isolated her and then didn't puruse her.

The second time...yeah. I just happened to be returning a book and although I acted like a bit of a wuss, I wasn't trying to get her number. But at this point she is probably disgusted with me for not having asked sooner.

But now that I see this with a clearer head, she knows that I like her now. The longer I wait, the longer it seems like I can't muster up the courage to ask her out (which I'm going to have to do no matter what), so it needs to be soon and it needs to be intense/direct.

If I do wind up having to ask her with help on Saturday, I will be very serious/no-nonsense until she comes downstairs with me. Then I know what to do.

 

[The Master Disaster]

"I would like to get to know you more. What do you have planned Saturday night?"

Damn. It is so painfully clear to me now that I should have done this already after class (which she was expecting me to, now that I think about it). But I was all caught up in what was the right way to act.

I was being a pu$$y.

The next possible time I can get her one-on-one, I will be a man and do this.

If I don't get an opportunity on Thursday, I will make one this Saturday.

Thank you dude for helping me sort through this. Nothing like an outside perspective to get my butt in gear.

Don't worry about it bro. I have the same problems myself. It's always nice having a man who can see everything coaching on the sidelines.

 

[daygameguy]

You were trying to go indirect at first. You tried but you don't have the skills developed yet for effective indirect game. So now if you keep going indirect she will think you are weak.

If you can really get your social value boost and blow her mind away with your social value, then good, do that.

Or else, there is NO other way, time to go in natural, hardcore, and direct. Now you don't have to act like a predator going for its prey. You don't need a lot of balls for this. You just need conviction. Let your will take over you. Be unapologetic. Be very sincere and talk to her like you are closing a business deal. Assume the sale. Just take care of the logistics.

Assume she is attracted to you. Just go to her, remember what you want, SMILE, and say

"Let's go to this place tomorrow evening."

Your eyes should be saying, "This is something both of us need, its something we MUST do, and the thought of rejection is no where in my mind".

Assume the sale. Simply talk about logistics (time - place - contact, etc).

Follow your natural instincts bro. It doesn't matter if she says NO or whatever....we will all respect you for being a fvcking MAN.

 

[Darth]

Thanks.

No, as far as social value goes, I haven't developed a circle big enough to make that work.

So yeah, I am going hardcore direct. It's the only way.

On a sidenote, as I was walking out the door of the gym I saw her come in. She turned away quickly, but I recognized her backside.

Not great news because it means she's lost patience with me.

Which is why I need to go direct at the next possible opportunity.

 

[goodfoot]

At the gym, that was an opportunity. Why didn't you ask then?

 

[Darth]

Because by the time I realized it was her she was quite a ways back, and I wasn't going to go running after her. It was very very quick. I was heading out the door.

It did occur to me though. If I had realized it was her in time, I would've done it. The gym is freaking huge and it was a huge coincidence, so I wasn't prepared.

I'll talk to her ASAP. I'm thinking way too much about this.

 

[daygameguy]

^^ I second that. But let's see where this guy gets with the direct approach.. lol don't worry Darth.. you're gonna be fine

 

[Darth]

Well, number one I'm not trying to get sex, that's not the goal. Number two I'm 18 and I can't go to the pub. Number 3 there is no way in hell I'm going to give up on this girl. She's an HB 9, early 20's, and she was the one who showed interest in me.

So I am determined to get a "NO" before I give up on this one. I am not a quitter.

And yeah, it's not so much that I'm socially challenged (although I used to be before finding this site. Pook literally changed my life). It's that I have a real problem talking to girls sometimes. I have no female friends, only guys. And believe me, I've read tons and tons of theory on here, so I know basically how everything works, and I'm applying it in life to some extent...but you're right. I need to do some kind of crazy boot camp at some point.

But for now, I'm just going to corner this girl and go direct. So please don't try to change my mind on this. It'll be good for me, and if she actually says yes even with my previous mistakes, that alone will be a big ego boost.

I've already learned so much from this thread, that when the next girl comes along who shows as much interest as this one did, I know EXACTLY what to do now. When she gives away her hand that early, pounce and ask her out without the small talk BS I'm so bad at.

 

[Darth]

She was in class today. Made a beeline for the door and didn't turn around to acknowledge me or anybody else.

If she'd wanted to talk to me, she would've stuck around awhile. I was going to force her to talk to me, but I'm not going to just grab her or call after her like a desperate little wimp. I'm just not.

So I see nothing wrong with the library on Saturday to wrap this thing up. Unless she thinks I'm coming at the same time every time just to see her. In which case I will open with, "You again." Like I don't care. Which I really don't at this point.

If she finds someone else rather than going downstairs with me again, I'll know what the story is and I'll forget it. If she goes downstairs with me, I win.

In other news, I actually got another girl's name/number on a sticky note today (heh, the irony), so for social proof what I thought would be funny would be when I'm giving her the book to find, I'll pull that piece of paper out of my pocket and write the title on that.

It's not actually coming in with a girl, but I want to try it and see what happens. Just for fun.

This'll be wrapped up by the end of the week. I've learned my lessons and this will not happen again.

 

[Darth]

I'm lying to myself. I do care.

I'm mostly just pissed at myself for not taking the perfect opportunity after class, and even more pissed for going to the library again and driving another nail into the coffin.

She liked me. She handed herself to me on a silver platter. i was just too stupid to recognize it.

And you know what? She'll probably refuse to come downstairs with me on Saturday. I can take that. I just have to get closure. This is the worst feeling in the world....

 

[jdon23]

Darth you seem to have aquired oneitis for this girl. I would just forget about her and start pursuing other women..

By investing so much of your time and energy with a woman that you BARELY know, you are setting yourself up for FAILURE. She will smell your desperation from a mile away.

I want you to sit next to a hot girl in EVERY one of your classes and try to initiate conversation. Even if its just "hey do you have an extra pen?". The more interactions you have, the more confident you will become in your social skills.

 

[The Master Disaster]

Darth if you are going there the same time on Saturday. Don't use "You again."

Use, "What, are you stalking me?"

 

[daygameguy]

Get your panzy ass to the library. I'll have to hold your hand this time. Do what I say:

You: "I'm sure you took this job so you could STALK me every saturday "
Her: "Ohh.. you're the one who's stalking me..hah!"
You: "Oh come on, don't flatter yourself. I'm not that easy. The most I can do is let you buy me a coffee/drink tomorrow evening/night. Meet me outside the library at (whenever her work gets over), and don't be late, I don't like to be stood up. "

Now Do this bro... its actually more fun to do a good approach on a one-itis type girl, cuz you have CONVICTION my friend... girls like guys with conviction. Its not exactly the same as desperation.

Good luck. Make me proud.

 

[Darth]

Darth if you are going there the same time on Saturday. Don't use "You again."

Use, "What, are you stalking me?"

Lol. This is a great line! I don't know if it'll work this time though. Maybe if I'm feeling it though.

"What, are you stalking me? No matter what time of day I come you're here. What's the deal?"

Or some reordering of that type of idea.


But thanks a lot, because I get what to do now, which is to just act like a ****y prick and to not care. Which will be funny because I'm sure she thinks she's got me wrapped around her finger now....

Now Do this bro... its actually more fun to do a good approach on a one-itis type girl, cuz you have CONVICTION my friend... girls like guys with conviction. Its not exactly the same as desperation.

Well I believe this 100%. The first time in the library I showed a ton of conviction, combined with indifference about her. That's what attracted her. Interaction 2 and 3, I was coming from more of an awkward/needy standpoint. That's what didn't attract her. Now I need to go back to what worked, which was not caring.

Just ask for another book get to the bottom. When your all alone, she'll be like, "what book are you looking for, stud muffin?" Just be like, "It's not a book, sweet cheeks" and go in for a kiss.

Lol...if she actually calls me a stud, that would be a call for instant action

 

[The Master Disaster]

Lol. This is a great line! I don't know if it'll work this time though. Maybe if I'm feeling it though.

"What, are you stalking me? No matter what time of day I come you're here. What's the deal?"

Or some reordering of that type of idea.

No No nO ! Don't reorder it!

It'll work as long as you giver her a smirk. It's ****y. It's funny. It's perfect.

Like any joke. It'll be ruined if you explain it.

If you're not feeling that line just ask her if she can help you find a book, be like "Hey [Name], I need your help. I can't seem to find this book." (Hold a piece of small piece of paper in your hand.

Then when you get down stares, give her the piece of paper. The paper should read "E412.142.I WANT YOU." or something like that. She should just eat that up. I can't see a girl who is even mildly interested turn that down.

It may take some balls, but it'll work.

 

[Darth]

If you're not feeling that line just ask her if she can help you find a book, be like "Hey [Name], I need your help. I can't seem to find this book." (Hold a piece of small piece of paper in your hand.

Then when you get down stares, give her the piece of paper. The paper should read "E412.142.I WANT YOU." or something like that. She should just eat that up. I can't see a girl who is even mildly interested turn that down.

It may take some balls, but it'll work.

You're a genius dude. That's hilarious. That's perfect. I can see her blushing after this one....

Thank you.

 

[Darth]

She wasn't at the library. This is like some kind of cruel joke.

So now the plan is, next time I have class with her, I'll just sit down next to her and make her talk to me, lol. Then we'll see how things work.

But thanks for all the advice guys. It is so clear to me what happened now. After I realized she wanted me, I didn't talk to her like a guy anymore..for some reason I went into geeky wuss mode and probably made her so awkward and uncomfortable.

So at this point I don't think this girl will work out, but I will back her into a corner one way or another and report back with the results...

 

[Darth]

I don't deserve the title of man.

I had given up on this girl and tried to forget about her. So today we had a test. And as you finished the test, you left.

Now, maybe it was a complete coincidence, but she finished at the exact same time as me and managed to get to the door...at the exact same time as me. She walked off down the hallway...I didn't call after her.

Of course looking back of COURSE it was not a coincidence.

Here's the second reason I'm an idiot....

She actually was at the library last Saturday...I didn't recognize her because she's doing her hair differently, which I found out today.



So yeah, I feel like complete sh!t right now. Is it even worth trying to get her number at this point?

EDIT: Don't answer that question. Of course it is. If she still tried to give me an opportunity today considering everything else I did wrong, maybe she just really likes me. Or maybe it was a coincidence....Who the hell cares, I need to act.

I PROMISE you guys I will ask her out before the week is out. Sorry for letting the male team down.

 

[daygameguy]

You know what, here is something you can do:

Remember: If you change your perspective, you can change the reality.

Go up to her, and as she will most likely be expecting another DJ line or something, do something that will completely blow her mind, and put HER in the qualifying position:

"I am going to talk to the authorities about you. I can't take it anymore. The way you look at me, with that mean sexual thirst in your eyes (rofl), its just too much for me. I'm not a piece of meat you know, if you wanna talk, you can just say hi!"

"You know when I first talked to you, I thought you were a very cultured shy good kinda girl, but its pissing me off now, cuz I've been waiting for days for you to ask me out, and you are just too shy, damn! Ok, I'll make it easy for you, wen do u wanna hang out?"

^^ if you dont try this dude, I'm gonna kick u in the balls. lol