"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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FR: (ElStud style)

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O

Obliteraga

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Hey all, ElStud here. Ok, so I just got done mildly interacting with members of the female gender and that means I have a field report to share with you for your reading pleasure! Btw, I'm much more daring than you KBJs because I actually speak to women, like this one chick who opened me with "can I take your order?" I responded in a really suave manner. She was interested. But that's a whole other story. Here's interaction 1!

I was standing in line at the bank to get some money and this HB11 stood behind me! She was just standing there pretending to be disinterested in me when I gave EC. I took this as an IOI because SHE WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ME NOT MOVING. She was obviously trying to be near me so I would open her. I said "hey babayyy!!!" and she ignored me and gave me a weird look. This was just a sh!t test though; DJs like me can see right through it.

I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said "please stop talking to me" which actually means "please talk to me more; you're hot and I want you." So I did. The convo ended when some guy said "sir, you're next in line, may I help you?" I think he was trying to open me but I don't swing that way.

he/she was interested.
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interaction 2:

I was walking through the park and saw this HB sitting on a bench. I wanted to try out some mild neg hits and decided she would be a good target. Here's the convo:

Me: why hello there

Her: hi

Me: hey, you're really ugly and should post your picture on uglypeople.com

Her: excuse me?

(note: at this point I've clearly established higher value and she's worshipping me in her mind)

Me: no really, it's like a freakish kind of ugly. You look like the love child of lyle lovett and a troll with particularly bad hygiene.

Her: what?!?

Me: you're fat

Her: get away from me you son of a b!tch!

(note: sh!t test, she wanted to see if I would be too scared to continue the interaction)

Me: I'm an alpha male with high SV, you can't frighten me with your w0manese!

Her: Police!

I got bored with her and walked away. Next time I'll try some actual insulting neg hits.

She was interested.
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interaction 3

I was looking to buy some clothes so I went to the store. This chick opened me by saying "are you finding everything alright sir?" I said, "well I wasn't until I found you babayyyy!!" She laughed and turned away to roll her eyes at someone else that worked there, but I saw it. Not sure what that was about. Anyway, I asked her to help me find some clothes and she did. Once I found everything I wanted I said "you've been really helpful, give me your number." and to my amazement she said "sure."

For whatever reason, her number was on her employee badge. She must get hit on a lot and wants it there in case she forgets it or something. After she wrote it down on a piece of paper she said "make sure you put in a good word for me to my manager!" and walked off. Dunno what that meant. I glanced at what she gave me and it looked really weird for a phone number; it had a lot more numbers. I tried it later that night when I got home but it didn't work. Oh well, maybe her phone was temporarily disconnected or something.

I didn't care though, I got my first number close. YEAH!

She was interested.
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That's all for now!
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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W

War Against Betaism

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LMAOOOOO :crackup:

Honestly, that was just classic. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard from an internet message board.
 
J

j0n024

Master Don Juan
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Jeez!! Now I know why girls start yelling and cursing you out! They are just sh1t testing you!! Good you made me understand so when a girl actually yells at me Ill know what to do lol. I started laughing till I got hiccups(no joke)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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W

WesCottII

Master Don Juan
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Seeing as Elstud hasn't got back from unbunching his panties over the last thread, I'll stand in as him. Now obviously I don't have his intelligence, so I'll just post a list of what we've come to expect from a Elstud reply.

  • Hahaha. You guys make me laugh, and I'm the troll?
  • I'm a DJ. You good sir, are an AFC (notice the fact I'm speaking like a 17th century lawyer. "I put it to you, good sir......")
  • You have no idea about women
  • *Insert parroted Dj principle*
  • Your post count is lower than mine. Therefore, I know more
  • *Story about me indecently touching a girl*
  • Hahaha. You good man, are a classic KBJ
  • I'm the only guy out there doing sh"t
  • I don't need numbers, these girls were obviously interested. If they wern't they would have told me to get lost

I might of forgot some, but theres the basic bones of it.

YOU'RE ALL AFC'S!!!
 
E

ElStud

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WesCottII said:
Seeing as Elstud hasn't got back from unbunching his panties over the last thread, I'll stand in as him. Now obviously I don't have his intelligence, so I'll just post a list of what we've come to expect from a Elstud reply.

  • Hahaha. You guys make me laugh, and I'm the troll?
  • I'm a DJ. You good sir, are an AFC (notice the fact I'm speaking like a 17th century lawyer. "I put it to you, good sir......")
  • You have no idea about women
  • *Insert parroted Dj principle*
  • Your post count is lower than mine. Therefore, I know more
  • *Story about me indecently touching a girl*
  • Hahaha. You good man, are a classic KBJ
  • I'm the only guy out there doing sh"t
  • I don't need numbers, these girls were obviously interested. If they wern't they would have told me to get lost

I might of forgot some, but theres the basic bones of it.

YOU'RE ALL AFC'S!!!
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Trying out for the King of Making Sh1t Up Award? If so, you're doing well. Seriously though, I can confidently say 99% of that is BS that you took out of your ass.
 
A

AfRoSwiss-Disiac

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At first i didnt think anybody could suck at approaching..
I thought everybody could improve after at least 30 approaches...
Then there was El Stud
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

A

Alkali

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Hey guys, stop discouraging him.

If you force him to stop his threads he'll be virgin forever (and we'll miss the entertainment.)
 
O

onthepath

Don Juan
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Rochester, NY
ahahahaha
i've book-marked this its bloody hilarious!

funniest sh!t i've read in a very long time

can't wait for your next field report tomorrow ;)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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