"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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FR: Breaking out of the friend zone.

Budheavy

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6 years ago, in high school I was a full forced raging AFC. My high school oneitis drove me to this site thanks to the help of my wise older brother. He saw me groveling over "Miss Perfect" and smacked some sense into me by showing me the light. This girl was average in the looks department, a 7 at best. She was a nice girl, but her personality was nothing to rave about. Regardless, I put her way up on a pedestal for months and I endured some of the most painful (now hysterical) AFC moments in my life. Long story short: She was into me, within a week I blew it, and I was LJBF'd.

6 years later, life is good and I've got a lot of experience under my belt. I finished up with college in May, and I'm back living in the same area I grew up. A few weeks ago, the ol' oneitis and I had a run in at a bar. It turns out, we still have some mutual friends. No sparks were flying on my end, as I said shes nothing crazy. I've maintained no feelings or desire for her over the years, but it was enjoyable because we were able to laugh about the hilarity of my AFC behavior with her in the past.

So as the weeks go by we continue to run into one another. Over the years I've developed a reputation in my social circle as a guy who meets a lot of people when out in public. I've come to love the process of meeting and dating new women (Thank you sosuave :D). Anyhow, she had began taking notice of this. She started telling me how I've become a "ladies' man" and clinging to me when we'd see each other. She began contacting me insisting that we should hang out.

Initially I wasn't really thrilled about the idea of taking her out. I didn't want to waste a night out with a girl I have low interest in, but these damn forums plagued my mind. All the posts about the impossibility of breaking out of the friend zone came to mind. I decided to put myself up for a field test of sorts. I figured, what the hell, I'm curious to see if what people say is true... Can someone shatter the AFC impression that they laid on their old oneitis through years of self improvement? Could they see you in a different light despite the pathetic behavior that was exhibited in the past?

I avoided seeing her much at all over the next couple of weeks, because I didn't want to be to available to her. Yesterday, however she was texting/calling me more often than usual. She was insisting that we go out for drinks because she was leaving town the next day. It was in the bag. Sure enough, we went out, got hammered, and ended up back at my apartment. We hooked up and passed out at around 5am. She woke me up this morning insisting that I leave town with her for the weekend. I declined and she was on her way shortly after. The best case scenario from here would be to maintain an FB relationship with her from here on, but who knows. As long as she's not looking for anything serious. :)

This may or may not hold much relevance to some of the stuff discussed on these forums, but I thought it was interesting and assumed some of you might also. I do recall trying hard to win her over years back. I did everything I could to break out of the friend zone and carry out a relationship with her. Needless to say it didn't work. I found it interesting though, that years later when she saw changes in me, and that I had low to no interest level in her, she chased me.

Women are funny. :)
 
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“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Gangster Of Love

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Seriously.

My guess is that when chumps come here asking for advice on how to get out of the LJBF, they want to do it quick,etc. not looking for the 6 year plan of attack. Congratulations on your almost complete transformation, but you need to just let it go.
 

Budheavy

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Gangster Of Love said:
Seriously.

My guess is that when chumps come here asking for advice on how to get out of the LJBF, they want to do it quick,etc. not looking for the 6 year plan of attack. Congratulations on your almost complete transformation, but you need to just let it go.
I wasn't offering advice. I was simply posting what had happened. Just like a large majority of the guys on here, I learned the hard way that being LJBF'd can kill any chance of having a sexual relationship with a girl in the near future. Being that a great deal of time had passed, I'm not claiming to have accomplished anything out of the ordinary.

As far as letting it go, I have. I haven't been pining over her or anything, it was just a matter of circumstance that we ended up seeing each other. I just found it funny that the girl who ended up driving me to this site, ended up pursuing later on in life. The whole experience was just a reminder of the long way I had come since my AFC days. Perhaps my post turned into a "look at me, and how I've changed" thread, which is lame. My mistake. The title was misleading.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Isn't it great, and funny how this time around it seemed like a mismatch? haha.

Does she want to get into a LTR?

The key is time, and transforming yourself. The posts you get here are too funny sometimes, "I've stayed away for a long time, 3 weeks" lol.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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