FR: 1st Date. Thoughts, please?

[killahpl]

Right, long story short, I'd been gaming this 19 year old HB9 (smokin' hot!) ever since New Year's Eye, where she initiated a drunken make out session with me.

I'd texted her several times after that and attempted to ask her out pretty quickly, but things got in the way: her exam session, my car accident, her ilness, etc.

Anyway, I decided to persist all the way to the point of "She'll either go out with me or she'll be have to say "No, I won't go out with you." or something to the effect thereof.

Well, we'd agreed to meet for drinks tonight, and she turned up looking smoking hot! We drank a bit and I did kino throughout the evening, which se was receptive to (no, she didn't wet her panties or anything, but still - receptive. And obviously comfortable.). She was also laughing throughout most of the evening, joked back, etc., so I'd be willing to wage a hefty sum that she was having a good time.

Now the thing you have to know about me is, a MAJOR sticking point for me has always been going in for the kiss. I have other sticking points - sexual innuendo, heavy flirting, etc. - but to my credit those other sticking points I have been able to combat with this girl.

So, I went into this date tonight thinking that I will go in for the kiss, no matter how clumsily and awkwardly I would do it, because even doing it clumsily and awkwardly is better than not doing it at all, which I had been guilty of far too many times.

So yeah, throughout the date I was thinking about that kiss, and slowly I was getting that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am once again going to fail to go in for the kiss and she's gonna LBJF me.

So I gutted it out and went in for the kiss as I was walking her home right after she gave me a look. Well I put my arm around her and leaned in, but she smiled and said "no, no, no." I tried again - same thing. I said, 'well, maybe next time?' and she said 'maybe next time.'

Now I want to stress again that I am extremely happy that I at least went in for the kiss, but I know how much I would be berating myself right now if I hadn't. That being said, something went wrong. Thoughts would be much appreciated. Is it worth asking her out again? SHould I next her? Did I do something wrong? I'll be happy to provide more details.

 

[Tiguere]

You made the hoe say no. Nc her for a week or 2. Then try again ( if she doesn't initiate contact while u nc her NEXT HER.

Now grab your phone and call your next prospect.

 

[killahpl]

Thanks, the no contact thing seems like a very good idea, actually.

I don't really have a next prospect per se.

Any input from anybody else (please)?

 

[hansol]

Well good job on going balls out and going for the kill. That's the most important thing. Now you'll have the confidence for next time.

But yeah, the thing is, if she was digging you, she'd have wanted you to kiss her. She called it off... So you kinda know where this is headed.

I'd wager that no contact seems actually a really good idea. You were ballsy, you had a decent time, then boom, you're gone. It should throw her off a bit.

 

[Falcon25]

A lot of people on these forums think that NO CONTACT will work or do anything. Here is reality;

She has many of you. She doesn't care, nor will she remember you if you go NC for two weeks. You tried, didn't work, try again. Call her in a few days and ask her out. Don't be discouraged, don't spend too much on her. If she keeps refusing a kiss, just move on. Trust me, she will forget tonight and move on to the next guy and next free dinner. You have to be persistent. Just call her in a few days. Good job. Like Jay Z says "on to the next one".

NC does not work, it has never worked, not with women who have options. So how do you combat that? You have options yourself.

 

[Huffman]

(sorry wrong thread )

but anyway on topic: she made out with you and now won't be kissed? Is making out drunk and it not meaning anything at all so common? damn, remind me never to bother with american girls.

 

[killahpl]

(sorry wrong thread )

but anyway on topic: she made out with you and now won't be kissed? Is making out drunk and it not meaning anything at all so common? damn, remind me never to bother with american girls.

You might wanna reconsider as she's not American - she's Polish like me (hence the "pl" in my nick). Otherwise your argument is valid.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Unfortunately if you're THIS worried about what to do during your date instead of just saying f*ck it and having fun, you're never going to get any.

Rather than dissect every little bit of irrelevant info, let me put it this way. You don't feel worthy. It's obvious. As soon as I read the first few lines I knew this girl saw you as a friend. Forget about dating for awhile and work on YOU. If you work out, get your life straight, work hard, etc you will feel entitled to p*ssy. And you know what? You will be.

Click the link at the bottom of this page that says "The DJ Bible" and read the Book of Pook. Good luck man, and work hard.

 

[the305]

A lot of people on these forums think that NO CONTACT will work or do anything. Here is reality;

She has many of you. She doesn't care, nor will she remember you if you go NC for two weeks. You tried, didn't work, try again. Call her in a few days and ask her out. Don't be discouraged, don't spend too much on her. If she keeps refusing a kiss, just move on. Trust me, she will forget tonight and move on to the next guy and next free dinner. You have to be persistent. Just call her in a few days. Good job. Like Jay Z says "on to the next one".

NC does not work, it has never worked, not with women who have options. So how do you combat that? You have options yourself.

This is solid advice, NO CONTACT to a girl that YOU ****ed up on expecting her to hit you up, like.. WTF? lol

Original Poster: i suggest never going into a date expecting anything. don't force a kiss or anything of that matter. if you feel you two had a good time and you built some comfort and rapport, thats BETTER then a kiss, cause you learning so much more on how to build connections, this isnt some baseball game where you have to score some point before the end of the night. So try to change your mindset around, cause you're only setting yourself up for failure in all honesty.

 

[killahpl]

Unfortunately if you're THIS worried about what to do during your date instead of just saying f*ck it and having fun, you're never going to get any.

Rather than dissect every little bit of irrelevant info, let me put it this way. You don't feel worthy. It's obvious. As soon as I read the first few lines I knew this girl saw you as a friend. Forget about dating for awhile and work on YOU. If you work out, get your life straight, work hard, etc you will feel entitled to p*ssy. And you know what? You will be.

Click the link at the bottom of this page that says "The DJ Bible" and read the Book of Pook. Good luck man, and work hard.

Yeah, I agree with you, man. I reall don't feel worthy. That being said, I HAVE started working out it's probably been one of the better decisions I've made in a long time; I do work hard and I have been reading the Bible and Pook's stuff. With regard to getting my life straight, that's hard because there's a lot of eff'ed up crap in it, hence my not feeling worthy.

This is solid advice, NO CONTACT to a girl that YOU ****ed up on expecting her to hit you up, like.. WTF? lol

Original Poster: i suggest never going into a date expecting anything. don't force a kiss or anything of that matter. if you feel you two had a good time and you built some comfort and rapport, thats BETTER then a kiss, cause you learning so much more on how to build connections, this isnt some baseball game where you have to score some point before the end of the night. So try to change your mindset around, cause you're only setting yourself up for failure in all honesty.

Thanks, this is solid advice for the future, but the thing is, as I mentioned in my original post, at the very least I got through a MAJOR sticking point which was going in for the kiss, meaning that it won't be as big a deal next time with another girl. If I hadn't done it, I would've been mentally berating myself...with a vengeance; then I would have thought, ok I'm try and set up another date with this girl and go in for the kiss then.

See, I don't really care about this girl too much...only insofar as her being really smoking hot - she lives in another town, won't be seeing her around, etc. So, rather than one particular girl - experience!