"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Forum Suggestion: Zoomer and Boomer areas

Should we create age-specific forum areas? (for Zoomers, Millineals, Gen X and Boomers)

  • Yes

    Votes: 3 18.8%
  • No

    Votes: 13 81.3%

  • Total voters
    16
  • Poll closed .

FlirtLife

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Is a woman in her 40s too young or too old? Men in their 30s and 50s may answer that differently, and both be right.

Instead of taking sides, maybe those discussions would be better on age-specific forums. Forum members born 1997-2012 would have access to the Zoomer forum, but not the others. Another Millineal-specific forum for birth years 1981-1997, and one for Gen X from 1965-1980. Anyone born 1964 or earlier meets their peers on a Boomer forum.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FlirtLife

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Most girls above 23 are too old
Said by someone aged 36, which is my point. Two men in their 50s had other views, and maybe arguing who is right isn't the best approach.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Pierce Manhammer

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Since the age is in the profile information, I'd be against segregation. Regardless of age we can learn from each other, if you segregate to age you will get a couple of echo chambers.
Not everyone exposes their age in their profile. I’ve suggested posters asking questions should state up front:
Their age
Nationality/ethnicity
What country they are operating in

These factors would make it much easier on those willing to try to help out or discuss the issues at hand.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Culture matters. A Cypriot does not encounter the same challenges as a guy in LA, it can make all the difference in the world in the advice delivered.
 

FlirtLife

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Yup, me. And it's the truth. You either are moving upward in your life or downward. Staying the same is a myth. If you think you are staying the same, you are moving downward in reality.
That's great, but it has nothing to do with me saying people of different ages bring different perspectives. My example was a woman aged 40, who is younger than some members and older than others. Since Dr Suave is younger than 40, he dislikes the woman aged 40. Those of us a decade past 40 have seen some 40 year olds who hit the gym and stay in shape, and have another view.

Which is actually a good example of the reason for my suggestion. Here, I have to debate men under 40, and things veer away from what I was trying to discuss. Fine, men don't peak. But men in their 20s and 30s still have differeent collective opinions about things than men who are older. And instead of discussing what I want, I'm debating this.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That's great, but it has nothing to do with me saying people of different ages bring different perspectives. My example was a woman aged 40, who is younger than some members and older than others. Since Dr Suave is younger than 40, he dislikes the woman aged 40. Those of us a decade past 40 have seen some 40 year olds who hit the gym and stay in shape, and have another view.

Which is actually a good example of the reason for my suggestion. Here, I have to debate men under 40, and things veer away from what I was trying to discuss. Fine, men don't peak. But men in their 20s and 30s still have differeent collective opinions about things than men who are older. And instead of discussing what I want, I'm debating this.
Men in their 20s and 30s would die to have the wisdom men in their 50s and 60s have if they knew how valuable it is, but sadly they have no idea about the value of this until they reach this age and one day they sit back and say "Damn...I wish I knew all this stuff back in my 20s!".
 

FlirtLife

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Since the age is in the profile information, I'd be against segregation. Regardless of age we can learn from each other, if you segregate to age you will get a couple of echo chambers.
My thought is to add a forum area for each generation, not replace anything that exists already. Some discussions are better among the same generation, other discussions are more general. I wanted to add another area, not segregate all discussions by age.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

FlirtLife

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Men in their 20s and 30s would die to have the wisdom men in their 50s and 60s have if they knew how valuable it is, but sadly they have no idea about the value of this until they reach this age and one day they sit back and say "Damn...I wish I knew all this stuff back in my 20s!".
My suggestion is for additional areas of the forum, not segregation of the entire forum by age.

Those new areas are segregated by age to allow some "Mature" discussions. In my view, every guy who just gained the right to rent a car (age 25) is not "Mature", which is why I'm suggesting adding more areas of the forum.
 

BackInTheGame78

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My suggestion is for additional areas of the forum, not segregation of the entire forum by age.

Those new areas are segregated by age to allow some "Mature" discussions. In my view, every guy who just gained the right to rent a car (age 25) is not "Mature", which is why I'm suggesting adding more areas of the forum.
I have banged the drum for the Mature Man age to be upped to 35 or 40 but have been overruled in Moderation discussions.
 

BackInTheGame78

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if you're not mature at 25, it's not certain you will be at 35.
It's not certain you will be at any age, but at some point you have to just set a number.

If you asked 100 random people walking around "At what age would you consider a man mature", somewhere near 35 or 40 would be a lot higher response than near 25
 

BackInTheGame78

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OK, so let's up the age to 30.
Again. This has been discussed and I have been on the losing end of any changes. It's not happening unless you get major support from other members on this and I don't see that happening.

And honestly if the change is only 5 years, it's not even worth it.
 

SW15

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I have banged the drum for the Mature Man age to be upped to 35 or 40 but have been overruled in Moderation discussions.
OK, so let's up the age to 30.
This has been discussed and I have been on the losing end of any changes. It's not happening unless you get major support from other members on this and I don't see that happening.

And honestly if the change is only 5 years, it's not even worth it.
I have supported raising the age in The Mature Man forum. It doesn't make any sense to have that forum start at 25, since it overlaps Don Juan Discussion. My initial thought was to raise it to 30, but even 35 would be good.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Pierce Manhammer

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If these changes were instituted I would want the forum to be read only for everyone on the board but those who pass the age required who should be able to post freely there.

Anyway it’s going to require more work from the mods and admins to institute and they already have enough to do as volunteers.
 

BadBoy89

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Is a woman in her 40s too young or too old?
Too young or too old for what?

For attraction, babies, marketing, selling, and sex, yes.

For dinner parties, trips, companionship, cleaning up your house, no.
 

SW15

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Too young or too old for what?

For attraction, babies, marketing, selling, and sex, yes.

For dinner parties, trips, companionship, cleaning up your house, no.
Plenty of men are having sex with women who are 40+.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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@BadBoy89 remind me how old you are? Mid thirties?

Too young or too old for what?

For attraction, babies, marketing, selling, and sex, yes.

For dinner parties, trips, companionship, cleaning up your house, no.
 

Serenity

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I don't think spreading out the forum with more sections will do anyone any good. The exchange of opinion between the younger and older generations is healthy, it forces everyone to think differently and may lead to overall better understanding. If we create artificial barriers to that, we'll remove this healthy stimulation. People who agree have little to discuss and there's little to learn from others like themselves.

More sections would also water down the forum, everyone who posts will have more limited exposure for their ideas and everyone who reads will be exposed to less. Most of discussions on this forum happening in one section is an advantage. The only good reasoning I see for splitting up into more specific sections would be if the main forum section gets way too much activity. As it is today I don't think the main section is overloaded, so more sections would hurt the forum more than it would help.

The sections other than Don Juan Discussion are already relatively low activity and limited exposure. We removed a forum section a couple of years ago or something because it was almost dead anyways. People seem to concentrate on the main forum section anyways, because it's the most engaging.

It seems your main argument is to reduce disagreement, which might look good at first glance, but going down that road will absolutely kill a forum. Age perspectives can be discussed and I think the benefits far outweigh the negatives of it.

TL;DR It would make this forum worse rather than better.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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