Forum I need your help again

[TheGambino]

brothers,

This is the girl I posted about a couple of times that I’m dating now for 6 months. In the beginning she was in love and showed all signs of wanting exclusivity but I made mistakes of playing too many games. Not meeting on Fridays and Saturdays, telling her I been in jail for a week which she told her parents and shocked her and she pulled back due these reasons. She’s smart. I could fix it due good cex and just being aloof and sweet the same time.

she pulled back a couple of times trying to distance me and I pulled back also then reached out after a week and we ended up hooking up again when she booty called me after going out drunk.

For a while she changed in seeing me as a fwb and no relationship material because of my character, I just felt that and I accepted it due all our meet up’s and hook up’s were amazing.
Then 4 weeks ago everything went great and I fcked up again. I posted a video on vacation of ordering bottles in a fancy club with some hoes on the video. She texted me everyday until she saw that video she was mad. I texted her to meet up and she told me no i can’t see u anymore we are too different and both need someone else. I called her and told her it’s ok, no worries.

After two weeks of no contact I texted her that I need some help at work with something she is an expert in and she texted me I’m downtown let’s have drinks. I met her and we made out heavily had fun and kept it short and left.

two days later she texts me again and I join her in bar we have a great great evening and she is all over me. She introduced me to her friends and I rock her night. We had a blast and she asks To stay with her that night. We hook up and she loves me. We have lunch at my house and I drop her off. I opened her up and told her I never fvckwd another women on vacation or during our “break”. Before cex she tells me we don’t have a relationship so you can do what you want but if you really cared you would fight for me and not give up when I told u “we’re done talking a couple weeks ago”. I let her talk listened to her and promised I would text her more because that’s what she wants. But i learned that initiating too much leads to her losing interest.

That evening after dropping her off i text her first and it’s been back an forth for the next day. Then she says I’m meeting my parents today and my gut tells me her parents don’t approve me since i have another cultural background and she told them everything. I feel that she is unsure of a future with me but I’m certain 10000% she is attracted to me phisicially and we have great laughs. Then she says “I really thought we would never speak or see too eachother again”
I reply with “it went differently” she agrees.

We talk back and forth and now she’s silent again, she’s seeing if I’m going to chase.

when I was with her she says.
* your so handsome, your so sweet, your so cute, your so nice, I like you 1000 times

problem is also I think I’m not her type. Yes she loves me but I’m not her father figure type of guy, not her race not like her friends just not what her ideal man is in the opinion of her raising, parents idea and her ex boyfriends are all so different then me which she said I’m way different then all goes she ever dated but she never stated this until she broke things up where she says your just not compatible with me and I think we should look for someone who fits us more which then I agreed to. Then radio silence two weeks until I reached out.

Thursday she’s going vacation with her parents and I’m busy this week.

Yes I like her, yes I figured after a long 6 months that she’s ltr potential for me, i finally like her enough to try it.

now what should I do?

Text her AGAIN? Initiate again with random talk and wishing her a good vacation and if random stuff to keep her warm and reassure her of my interest or go n.C. until she reaches out?

I really really don’t know. She also almost cried and was shocking heavily yesterday on the couch when I brought up why she ended things a couple of weeks ago and she said all the talking and hooking up that night was too intense for her.
What is best to do know?

Please don’t judge just tell me what to do going forward now tommorow

 

[soulforge]

I stopped reading at when you told her, you been in jail for a week.. SMH

 

[TheGambino]

I stopped reading at when you told her, you been in jail for a week.. SMH

I got a business, good money good car my life on trail, good work out body. Clothes on point, it was 12 years ago and it happened. I need info on what to do now not judging. Hope you understand

 

[Mertz09]

brothers,

This is the girl I posted about a couple of times that I’m dating now for 6 months. In the beginning she was in love and showed all signs of wanting exclusivity but I made mistakes of playing too many games. Not meeting on Fridays and Saturdays, telling her I been in jail for a week which she told her parents and shocked her and she pulled back due these reasons. She’s smart. I could fix it due good cex and just being aloof and sweet the same time.

she pulled back a couple of times trying to distance me and I pulled back also then reached out after a week and we ended up hooking up again when she booty called me after going out drunk.

For a while she changed in seeing me as a fwb and no relationship material because of my character, I just felt that and I accepted it due all our meet up’s and hook up’s were amazing.
Then 4 weeks ago everything went great and I fcked up again. I posted a video on vacation of ordering bottles in a fancy club with some hoes on the video. She texted me everyday until she saw that video she was mad. I texted her to meet up and she told me no i can’t see u anymore we are too different and both need someone else. I called her and told her it’s ok, no worries.

After two weeks of no contact I texted her that I need some help at work with something she is an expert in and she texted me I’m downtown let’s have drinks. I met her and we made out heavily had fun and kept it short and left.

two days later she texts me again and I join her in bar we have a great great evening and she is all over me. She introduced me to her friends and I rock her night. We had a blast and she asks To stay with her that night. We hook up and she loves me. We have lunch at my house and I drop her off. I opened her up and told her I never fvckwd another women on vacation or during our “break”. Before cex she tells me we don’t have a relationship so you can do what you want but if you really cared you would fight for me and not give up when I told u “we’re done talking a couple weeks ago”. I let her talk listened to her and promised I would text her more because that’s what she wants. But i learned that initiating too much leads to her losing interest.

That evening after dropping her off i text her first and it’s been back an forth for the next day. Then she says I’m meeting my parents today and my gut tells me her parents don’t approve me since i have another cultural background and she told them everything. I feel that she is unsure of a future with me but I’m certain 10000% she is attracted to me phisicially and we have great laughs. Then she says “I really thought we would never speak or see too eachother again”
I reply with “it went differently” she agrees.

We talk back and forth and now she’s silent again, she’s seeing if I’m going to chase.

when I was with her she says.
* your so handsome, your so sweet, your so cute, your so nice, I like you 1000 times

problem is also I think I’m not her type. Yes she loves me but I’m not her father figure type of guy, not her race not like her friends just not what her ideal man is in the opinion of her raising, parents idea and her ex boyfriends are all so different then me which she said I’m way different then all goes she ever dated but she never stated this until she broke things up where she says your just not compatible with me and I think we should look for someone who fits us more which then I agreed to. Then radio silence two weeks until I reached out.

Thursday she’s going vacation with her parents and I’m busy this week.

Yes I like her, yes I figured after a long 6 months that she’s ltr potential for me, i finally like her enough to try it.

now what should I do?

Text her AGAIN? Initiate again with random talk and wishing her a good vacation and if random stuff to keep her warm and reassure her of my interest or go n.C. until she reaches out?

I really really don’t know. She also almost cried and was shocking heavily yesterday on the couch when I brought up why she ended things a couple of weeks ago and she said all the talking and hooking up that night was too intense for her.
What is best to do know?

Please don’t judge just tell me what to do going forward now tommorow

Well, I'm exhausted, not by the length of your post but by the lack of punctuation and grammar. Makes for a hard read. But oh well.
It sounds like the 2 of you are rather young, and that's OK. And that you have feelings for each other. That being said: I would
go N.C. until she reaches out. Don't chase, add some mystery. If it works out then great, if not then it wasn't meant to be.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I got a business, good money good car my life on trail, good work out body. Clothes on point, it was 12 years ago and it happened. I need info on what to do now not judging. Hope you understand

You don't come across as a mentally healthy person.
Neither do I, but I don't pretend to be sane.

You lost frame the moment you tried to tell her about your past. No sane person would tell a new lover they spent time in jail over a decade ago. Something like that is no longer relevant and makes you look like a cheap hood. I think you're proud that you spent time in jail because it makes you look like someone who should be respected and feared. Why else would you even mention something like that to a woman?

You screwed up with this woman. Find another one, and exercise some discretion about your delinquency. Real badasses don't go to jail.

 

[TheGambino]

You don't come across as a mentally healthy person.
Neither do I, but I don't pretend to be sane.

You lost frame the moment you tried to tell her about your past. No sane person would tell a new lover they spent time in jail over a decade ago. Something like that is no longer relevant and makes you look like a cheap hood. I think you're proud that you spent time in jail because it makes you look like someone who should be respected and feared. Why else would you even mention something like that to a woman?

You screwed up with this woman. Find another one, and exercise some discretion about your delinquency. Real badasses don't go to jail.

it was for a fight and it happened I was young and drunk. and I am a sane person I’m all good. I’m asking what to do now not judging

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

it was for a fight and it happened I was young and drunk. and I am a sane person I’m all good. I’m asking what to do now not judging

You're not reading what I wrote. I don't give an airborne copulation about you getting arrested for fighting or calling yourself Gambino or putting an avatar of the teflon don in your profile. If you want to project tough guy vibes here, go ahead.

BUT:

Don't tell women about spending time behind bars. Not for any reason.

Not even if you spent time in maximum security to support a dying friend. Spending time behind bars isn't cool and it won't make you a tough guy. Just grow up and stop mentioning that shyte to anyone. You're doing yourself a huge disservice.

Do you get it now?

 

[Mertz09]

You don't come across as a mentally healthy person.
Neither do I, but I don't pretend to be sane.

You lost frame the moment you tried to tell her about your past. No sane person would tell a new lover they spent time in jail over a decade ago. Something like that is no longer relevant and makes you look like a cheap hood. I think you're proud that you spent time in jail because it makes you look like someone who should be respected and feared. Why else would you even mention something like that to a woman?

You screwed up with this woman. Find another one, and exercise some discretion about your delinquency. Real badasses don't go to jail.

"You lost frame the moment you tried to tell her about your past."
Always remember: Women never want full discloser.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"You lost frame the moment you tried to tell her about your past."
Always remember: Women never want full discloser.

Never tell her outright. Grandpa never talked about the war. He would just wake screaming the house down, then say it was 'just a nightmare'. But everybody suspected that mild-mannered Grandpa had seen more than his share of atrocities.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You were never her ideal man and your frame stood the test of time. This is further proof that archetype/nichemaxing is the way to go if you want to date. No matter what you do, NATURE will come and collect its debt! Just be happy that you didn’t marry this girl and the debt owed would have accrued interest. You were never going to win this battle, a short battle is a W IMHO

 

[Black Widow Void]

In the past, I've given you a hard time about your situations. I'm glad to see that this time, you're straight to the point. We all meet a certain woman that we'd like to keep around. I hope that this one works out for you.

Although she may say that she wants you to fight for her and not give up, do not text her a second time.

You might be thinking that you're going to lose her if you don't do as she wishes... but it's just the opposite. I'm sure that this is confusing and so I'll provide an example.

Remember back when you were younger and you'd hear a girl say that she just wanted a nice, polite and understanding man that would listen to her troubles? We've all met women like this and what do they do? They go after someone just the opposite of what they 'claim' they wanted.

You've got a lot going for you. You've been locked up (bad boy image). Her parents disapprove (she gets the drama that she craves).

Although she says that she wants you to fight to keep her... that's only half the story. She probably doesn't even know what she really wants, but I'll clue you in. She wants a man that displays dominance. But if you're dominant in chasing her, she will not respect this.

When she's good, reward her with attention. If she acts distant, let her have distance. Don't let her teach you how to behave. You teach her.

 

[TheGambino]

displays

Thanks man. It’s true but you sure another text will harm me? That’s what I need to know shall I text or just go ghost until she reaches out?

thnx so much @Black Widow Void

I

 

[Money & Muscle]

Before cex she tells me we don’t have a relationship so you can do what you want but if you really cared you would fight for me and not give up when I told u “we’re done talking a couple weeks ago”.

Am I the only one seeing this as a red flag?
In other words: "do what I want or I leave you".

How old are you two? This whole thing reeks of high school drama. FWB don't owe each other anything, particularly commitment, yet she wants you to fight for her?

The relationship is her responsibility to earn from you - not the other way around.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Thanks man. It’s true but you sure another text will harm me? That’s what I need to know shall I text or just go ghost until she reaches out?

thnx so much @Black Widow Void

I

I'm sure that another text would not be a good idea. If you sent the last text, then you are not "ghosting" her.
I understand that you might worry that she'll think that you don't care, but I wouldn't text her again until she responds to your first text.

The reason is because you've already sent her a text that she has not replied to. You don't want her to think that you are over concerned and that you are worrying. It's okay if you're concerned and worrying, but keep that with the brothers here and don't let her know.

 

[Desdinova]

she tells me we don’t have a relationship so you can do what you want but if you really cared you would fight for me

Then she says “I really thought we would never speak or see too eachother again”

when I was with her she says.
* your so handsome, your so sweet, your so cute, your so nice, I like you 1000 times

First of all, you're buying into her words too much. Words don't mean 5hit unless she's got the actions to back them up, which she doesn't. In these cases, it's just her emotions flowing in the moment and nothing more.

telling her I been in jail for a week

I posted a video on vacation of ordering bottles in a fancy club with some hoes

I would say that you're more of an emotional thrill than a "safe provider". When you get yourself into a "safe provider" mode, she bails. You become boring as hell.

Yes I like her, yes I figured after a long 6 months that she’s ltr potential for me, i finally like her enough to try it.

I highly doubt she's going to consider you for a LTR since she was thoroughly enjoying the emotional rollercoaster you took her on.

now what should I do?

Text her AGAIN? Initiate again with random talk and wishing her a good vacation and if random stuff to keep her warm and reassure her of my interest or go n.C. until she reaches out?

I really really don’t know. She also almost cried and was shocking heavily yesterday on the couch when I brought up why she ended things a couple of weeks ago and she said all the talking and hooking up that night was too intense for her.

Quit all this relationship talk with her. This kind of crap is going to make her emotionally neutral toward you. If you're going to do anything, get her emotions running again. Send her something you know is going to give her an emotional charge (and telling her she sweet or I love you is off limits). Tell her you're thinking of moving to a different country or that you almost got hit by a car; anything to get an emotional charge out of her. If you do that, she'll respond.

And quit being so fvcking nice to her. She hasn't earned it. Keep a wooden spoon in the bedroom and whack her on the ass with it. Then tell her "That's for going on family vacation without me".

 

[TheGambino]

I'm sure that another text would not be a good idea. If you sent the last text, then you are not "ghosting" her.
I understand that you might worry that she'll think that you don't care, but I wouldn't text her again until she responds to your first text.

The reason is because you've already sent her a text that she has not replied to. You don't want her to think that you are over concerned and that you are worrying. It's okay if you're concerned and worrying, but keep that with the brothers here and don't let her know.

No she replied we were texting all day. She reacted polite on something and I quit the conversation after that @Black Widow Void

 

[Mertz09]

"You lost frame the moment you tried to tell her about your past."
Always remember: Women never want full discloser.

Women don’t want full disclosure. Lol

 

[NealIRC]

What happened to the woman that was a top high-end employee that came to your place barefoot to install something or so.

 

[Black Widow Void]

No she replied we were texting all day. She reacted polite on something and I quit the conversation after that @Black Widow Void

In that case, you should respond just like usual. Just be sure to not over do it or anything. You've been around and so I'm sure you already know this.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

In what world does this woman qualify for LTR?

C'mon man.