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For those of you who got into LTR with HB's who weren't that interested in the beginning but fell in love with you later?

pete101

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Have any of you guys been in long term relationships with HB's who weren't that interested in you in the beginning but you won her over and she eventually fell in love with you?

How much do you overlook in the beginning? Ignoring red flags? If your game isnt 10/10 tight how much do you let her lack of IL slide?

They always say the IL should be super high from the off but i have been in LTR's where it didn't start off with high IL but eventually she fell in love with me.. maybe the fact we arent still together proves the red flags are there for a reason.

Basically how much do you let slide in the beginning if your game isn't 100% tight and you still do afc things that normally would ruin things?
 

IKO69

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Yeah I have experience with that. A good number of my gfs were like that. In most cases we were friends for a time (sometimes years) and then they developed feelings. It has happened very often and in most cases I wasn't even trying to game.

I would let nothing slide lol. I would treat her like any other friend and call her out on bs when needed.
 

pete101

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Yeah I have experience with that. A good number of my gfs were like that. In most cases we were friends for a time (sometimes years) and then they developed feelings. It has happened very often and in most cases I wasn't even trying to game.

I would let nothing slide lol. I would treat her like any other friend and call her out on bs when needed.
My question is more pondering whether i should really bother with women who have mid IL anymore regardless of my past relationships or them falling in love.

The fundamental rules are high IL from the off + no flaking

I mean it really tells you whether she really liked you rather than trying to win them over every time
 

IKO69

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No one can really tell you man, you have to exercise your own judgement because things aren't always cut and dry like you read on here. Life is fluid. I've had success when I thought everything went wrong or I had "broken" the rules. Conversely i've also failed big time when I thought I was firing on all cylinders and thought the stars had surely aligned that day.
* Timing is also everything in life. I should mention for me, a lot of these women when I met them were already in relationships. They turned out to be cool so I became friendly with them. I typically didn't try to game chicks that rejected me and moved on from them.

Typically the woman will signal interest, yes, and then you decide whether to take it from there or not. If the woman appears to be on the fence/or is potentially "hiding" her attraction, then do what I do: don't try to win them over. This is one of the mistakes many men make without realizing. Usually when you try to win someone over you end up not doing so. RELAX, let go and take it easy - what is yours will be pulled into your orbit at the right time.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Never been worth it in my experience. They will still continue to play games and think they can do better than you. You are better off finding a girl with initial high Interest in you IMHO.
 

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TheGambino

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No one can really tell you man, you have to exercise your own judgement because things aren't always cut and dry like you read on here. Life is fluid. I've had success when I thought everything went wrong or I had "broken" the rules. Conversely i've also failed big time when I thought I was firing on all cylinders and thought the stars had surely aligned that day.
* Timing is also everything in life. I should mention for me, a lot of these women when I met them were already in relationships. They turned out to be cool so I became friendly with them. I typically didn't try to game chicks that rejected me and moved on from them.

Typically the woman will signal interest, yes, and then you decide whether to take it from there or not. If the woman appears to be on the fence/or is potentially "hiding" her attraction, then do what I do: don't try to win them over. This is one of the mistakes many men make without realizing. Usually when you try to win someone over you end up not doing so. RELAX, let go and take it easy - what is yours will be pulled into your orbit at the right time.
This is the best advice I've gotten in years.
 

Konada

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Contrary to what has been preached here on this forum, anything less than sky high IL is not a red flag. Why should you be entitled to her time and energy if she doesn't know you well enough yet?

Red flags are primarily saved for traits that you find are dealbreakers or indicators of a potentially toxic relationship down the road. They should not be ignored, regardless of whether your goal is to spin plates or have an LTR.
 

pete101

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Contrary to what has been preached here on this forum, anything less than sky high IL is not a red flag. Why should you be entitled to her time and energy if she doesn't know you well enough yet?

Red flags are primarily saved for traits that you find are dealbreakers or indicators of a potentially toxic relationship down the road. They should not be ignored, regardless of whether your goal is to spin plates or have an LTR.
Yes and noticing them from the off and not letting them slide.

Just because she ticks boxes doesn't mean she is someone you are compatible with long term

Also can you even really trust a girl who wasn't attracted to you from the off.

None of us have 10/10 game but if you are operating at a 6/10 level then how can you expect her to be all over you.. like how much do you let slide or give her a chance if she is going through stuff

It just makes me wary and mistrusting
 

pete101

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No one can really tell you man, you have to exercise your own judgement because things aren't always cut and dry like you read on here. Life is fluid. I've had success when I thought everything went wrong or I had "broken" the rules. Conversely i've also failed big time when I thought I was firing on all cylinders and thought the stars had surely aligned that day.
* Timing is also everything in life. I should mention for me, a lot of these women when I met them were already in relationships. They turned out to be cool so I became friendly with them. I typically didn't try to game chicks that rejected me and moved on from them.

Typically the woman will signal interest, yes, and then you decide whether to take it from there or not. If the woman appears to be on the fence/or is potentially "hiding" her attraction, then do what I do: don't try to win them over. This is one of the mistakes many men make without realizing. Usually when you try to win someone over you end up not doing so. RELAX, let go and take it easy - what is yours will be pulled into your orbit at the right time.
I guess in your situation they already were in relationships so you were biding your time doing your own thing

For me the times i gotten into relationships they werent interested from the start but became interested like i won them over but didnt actively try to

But again when i do actively try it backfires like you said

You shouldn't have to try at all i guess is the point, because my game isnt 100% i feel i have to let things slide a bit when maybe i shouldnt
 

Konada

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Yes and noticing them from the off and not letting them slide.

Just because she ticks boxes doesn't mean she is someone you are compatible with long term

Also can you even really trust a girl who wasn't attracted to you from the off.

None of us have 10/10 game but if you are operating at a 6/10 level then how can you expect her to be all over you.. like how much do you let slide or give her a chance if she is going through stuff

It just makes me wary and mistrusting
She still has to be sufficiently attracted to meet you. If she makes it difficult for you to meet her, she is usually not worthwhile the effort.

IL will go up or down depending on what she finds out about you as time progresses.

While its good to admit your mistakes and work on your game, it doesn't mean you can tolerate disrespect from your woman, these are 2 separate matters. Letting it slide = more disrespect from your woman.

For example:

Your woman berates you in public loudly for not stepping up to a major crisis. While its your fault for not leading the way and solving the issue, it doesn't give her a free pass to emasculate you in public.

My response to the above situation will be: "I know I could have handled the situation better, but I do not appreciate you raising your voice at me in public. We can discuss this at home."

If she continue to act like a bytch, she is getting kicked to the curb regardless of the reason for her outburst.
 

LARaiders85

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Contrary to what has been preached here on this forum, anything less than sky high IL is not a red flag. Why should you be entitled to her time and energy if she doesn't know you well enough yet?
Because other men were entitled to exactly that. It's definitely something to seriously consider.
 

EyeBRollin

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Listen here.

You want high interest from the jump. The problem with “making her fall in love” is she is far quicker to fall out of love. The reason being is she did not perceive you as high enough value initially. That matters. This girl will always instinctively believe she can do better.

For LTR, pick from the gals that already like you.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Contrary to what has been preached here on this forum, anything less than sky high IL is not a red flag. Why should you be entitled to her time and energy if she doesn't know you well enough yet?

Red flags are primarily saved for traits that you find are dealbreakers or indicators of a potentially toxic relationship down the road. They should not be ignored, regardless of whether your goal is to spin plates or have an LTR.
I think sky high IL is a red flag in general. At minimum, the girl needs to be responsive, non-flakey, let you take the lead or co-operate, and not argumentative early in the relationship. Sex is no longer a security deposit because I'm running in to women that will have sex with me and still not display these behaviors. It never worked out in the long run because I just got sick of it and found a new girl that gave me more interest.

From my 3 previous exes, one applied to this. My previous 2 were girls that didn't see me as a home run hit for them match wise, so I got some pushback from them. They would always be hot and cold with me with their interest levels. One month they would think I'm God's gift and the other month they would be playing games, arguing, trying to test me, complaining, and etc. Not worth it IMHO, find a girl that likes you for you initially.
 

pete101

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Listen here.

You want high interest from the jump. The problem with “making her fall in love” is she is far quicker to fall out of love. The reason being is she did not perceive you as high enough value initially. That matters. This girl will always instinctively believe she can do better.

For LTR, pick from the gals that already like you.
Yeah i sense this. In my mind she is short term at best. It is 50/50 whether anything happens probably less but might as well carry on and see where it goes in a couple weeks before giving up.

The messages to her are still c+f but i dont like sudden turn from her, she was all for the date over the weekend now she doesn't even acknowledge it when i suggested drinks tryna change subject it is a sh*t test but also an IOD.
 

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pipeman84

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They always say the IL should be super high from the off but i have been in LTR's where it didn't start off with high IL but eventually she fell in love with me.. maybe the fact we arent still together proves the red flags are there for a reason.
A good number of my gfs were like that. In most cases we were friends for a time (sometimes years) and then they developed feelings.
I'm very skeptical of this...I think in the majority of cases it's a case of settling, not of slowly developing interest level. If the persons are of good character, it will lead to a roommates type of situation, rather than a couple who passionately makes love. If they are of poor character, they'll cheat on each other. Attraction is not a choice...it's either there or not from the beginning.
 

bat soup

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Generally speaking, if a woman wasn't interested in the beginning she's not going to change her mind later. In the first 10 minutes, if you know how to read the signs, you'll know everything you need to know.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I'm very skeptical of this...I think in the majority of cases it's a case of settling, not of slowly developing interest level. If the persons are of good character, it will lead to a roommates type of situation, rather than a couple who passionately makes love. If they are of poor character, they'll cheat on each other. Attraction is not a choice...it's either there or not from the beginning.
Not true. Researchers find the longer a woman knows you, the less looks matter. The less time a woman knows you, the more they matter.
 

pete101

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Generally speaking, if a woman wasn't interested in the beginning she's not going to change her mind later. In the first 10 minutes, if you know how to read the signs, you'll know everything you need to know.
Im starting to see this despite having relationships where they fell in love with me after but because it didn't last it probably tells me why
 

pete101

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She still has to be sufficiently attracted to meet you. If she makes it difficult for you to meet her, she is usually not worthwhile the effort.

IL will go up or down depending on what she finds out about you as time progresses.

While its good to admit your mistakes and work on your game, it doesn't mean you can tolerate disrespect from your woman, these are 2 separate matters. Letting it slide = more disrespect from your woman.

For example:

Your woman berates you in public loudly for not stepping up to a major crisis. While its your fault for not leading the way and solving the issue, it doesn't give her a free pass to emasculate you in public.

My response to the above situation will be: "I know I could have handled the situation better, but I do not appreciate you raising your voice at me in public. We can discuss this at home."

If she continue to act like a bytch, she is getting kicked to the curb regardless of the reason for her outburst.
Can you give more examples of incidents of the woman lashing out and what to say without looking psycho

Because the example you gave above is really really good, a thread on various sh*t tests and what to say and why could be very useful for myself and others who dont always navigaye these situations correctly in fear of looking psychotic.. like you cant tell off a girl you only met a few times about her disrespectful behaviour not reading your messages and only doing so when convenient..

yeah i get it is low IL so shouldn't be meeting them anyway but sometimes these things happen and later they want to meet again when they are over whatever turmoil they have gone through
 
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