"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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For those in LTRs... when was the time to move in together?

Francisco d'Anconia

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ready123 said:
...You mentioned before failure is too costly. Which of these is more definitive of failure? Breaking your vows? Or sustaining an unhappy relationship?
If you're unsure, why get married? What will getting married offer you personally as a man that you couldn't achieve through a comitted relationship without marriage?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Nightwing said:
That's exactly why you should give cohabitation at least a year prior to marriage.
In whose house, what happens if it doesn't work? Who leaves? Who has to start over at square one?

This is why I say do the long vacations first. At least each has mutually neutral corners to go to after the fight.
 

ready123

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
If you're unsure, why get married? What will getting married offer you personally as a man that you couldn't achieve through a comitted relationship without marriage?
that's a good point. never thought of it like that
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I made a big mistake a few years ago and let my girlfriend move in. I didn't even ask her to live with me. She just gradually kept bringing more and more of her stuff to my place and before I could think she was living with me. That was a big mistake and it took forever to get rid of her.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
... I didn't even ask her to live with me. She just gradually kept bringing more and more of her stuff to my place and before I could think she was living with me. ....
:cuss: I hate it when that sh1t happens! Get up on a Monday morning, brush your teeth and notice right before the spit that you are brushing your teeth with someone else's toothbrush then you shoot Crest Wintergreen out your nose! :cuss: And don't get me started when another woman finds someone else's toothbrush and you have to make up a excuse...
"What? A pink toothbrush? Ohhh...Uhhh yeah, that's mine... I had run out of toothbrushes and I went to the store, right; and all they had were toothbrushes in those two-packs, right; but the only kind that they had left was the one with a pink and a blue one, right; so I had to but that one because I hadn't brushed my teeth in about a week, right; so since I am a man I used the blue one first, right; but somehow I misplaced that one, right; so I had to start using the pink one, right; but I didn't want to use it because I'm a man, right; plus I wanted to save that one for you, right; but I couldn't because I know that you like fresh breath, right; so that's why there's a pink toothbrush..."

"Huh? There's a green one on the sink too? Ummm, That's the one I use for the dog. :whistle:

​
Oh come on, don't tell me I'm the only one who's had to use that excuse...
 
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