For the shy guy lost in space

[Faur]

There's an article sosuave article on the main site titled Why Very Intelligent Men Fail with Women that says smart guys always seek more information when facing problems and that's not the answer.

I think knowledge IS the answer. True knowledge, not dating-tips sites. In this media age some people like myself get dragged on bleak paths. I was fed bullshyt by TV, cinema and whatnot only to be some under-achiever content with his above-average education, culture and salary. And all this time until recently I was torn by my shyness and low self-esteem.

I seeked answers but I was not looking the right way. I realized that I'm insecure and socially unskilled because I'm living in a world that I don't understand. So I needed to understand basic things, like why do we exist, what's the universe and what's life. For some this is already answered, I know, while some don't think they'll get the answer in their lifetime. The problem with many people of our generation is that they don't inquire these things anymore (I didn't, so there sure must be many others like me and it's for them that I'm posting)

So I started reading - philosophy, the great classics, quantum physics. I could see the results even in my street walk. I'm fairly well built and was walking normal in my yard... But on the street I was a mass of insecurity - walking funny, stiff, tripping, the women giggled and the men stared me down... Now I walk normal, I'm aware about my surroundings, the people, now it's me doing the "research" on them. This was just an example of my increased self-esteem, also I interact better with women, I'm not "there" yet, but I can feel the day coming.

So if you're a shy guy "not getting it" then hit the library with the biggest questions you can think of...

If you don't know where to start, I suggest the Reading List of any big university, like this one or maybe this onehttp://www.stjohnscollege.edu/asp/main.aspx?page=1302 http://www.thomasaquinas.edu/curriculum/

 

[arutha]

So I started reading - philosophy, the great classics, quantum physics

Oh isn't quantum theory fun, I've just finished a huge assignment on it.

I'm not sure how reading that stuff makes you more confident though... I used to be a really shy type as well, and I don't know how I got over it. One day I just noticed that I could talk to people without feeling embarrased or anything, I think its just something you grow out of. And experience is probably a big thing, the more you do it the easier it gets.

Do you think about how confident you are trying to protray yourself while walking down the street for example though? Think I better walk a bit slower, better stretch somemore, put a half ****y grin on my face, straighten my back more, or does it just come naturally now? I think there is a difference.

 

[Faur]

I don't think about confidence, it either comes naturally or it's not there that day

Getting the big picture let's you figure out the details, therefore more confidence

 

[Vong]

St John's, i've been thinking about going to school there

I like this idea though. I read a lot as it is, but havent tried reading into philosophy and whatnot. Book store trip tommorow, I think

 

[izza]

Faur, I couldn't agree with you more. A few months ago, I posted something called A Man is a philosopher. I couldn't agree more. A real man has the courage to ask the big questions in life, and these questions do require courage. Why do I exist? Do I have a purpose in life and if so, what is it? It takes courage to imagine the life of your dreams because most of us are so far from it.

A man needs to ask the big questions in order for life to have purpose. When I posted, some responded negatively, saying that being a philosopher wasn't going to get me women, as if getting women is the only reason men exist. Pretty unfortunate how shallow some people can be. I told them when a man has purpose in life, he doesn't see women as the entirety of existence. That is surely the best way to live. Anyway, great post and it sounds like you're on a wonderful path.

Social awkwardness is a biatch, isn't it?

Izza

 

[Schlep]

If you're a shy guy, and still in school, you need to enroll in communications classes. They force you to be social, give you some skills, and in my last class there was a 10:1 girl to guy ratio.