"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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For the Pigeons

DeepBlue

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 8, 2002
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Dear Vet Love,
I'm a decent looking male pigeon and I get a fair amount of action, but the other day I was with this stuck up female pigeon and whenever I went around behind her left side she would turn away to the right, and then when I went around on her right side she turned away to her left. I did this three times and she still kept doing it! I figured maybe it was low Interest Level, but then why doesn't she just fly away instead of standing there playing these games? What should I do next time this happens?

Sincerely,
Tired of the whole "courtship dance" thing.



Vet Love replies:

Dear Tired,
You didn't do anything wrong--you followed the rules exactly and did it three times just like I say in my book, but she still kept playing games. Well, thank her for revealing her true nature as a shrewd, manipulative game playing pigeon. Better you should find out now than after she lays four eggs and you're stuck feeding the nest! Remember guys, if she still turns away after three times, it's sayonara pigeon! Take heed all you roosters, rams, bulls, and stallions, if she wants to take you for a ride, you better be the one holding the reins!

Trust the Love Veterinarian to tell you the truth about the females of the species. You can count on me to separate the honest genetic rituals from gratuitous game playing! The Love Vet will never lead you astray!

Till next time,
Keep up the action,
Vet Love
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ace of Flames

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
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Location
Everywhere you want to be.... I'm like a Visa card
No sense of humor? Life isn't so serious, so don't go about it that way.

We could use a little laughter to break up all the whiny posts around here anyway.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Joined
Jul 31, 2006
Messages
27
Reaction score
0
Ace of Flames said:
No sense of humor? Life isn't so serious, so don't go about it that way.

We could use a little laughter to break up all the whiny posts around here anyway.
Well we dont need that kind of humor,maybe if he had a funny field report.
 
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