"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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For the formerly or currently married guys

Knowing what you know now, would you go back in time and get married to the same person again?

  • YES

    Votes: 6 50.0%
  • NO

    Votes: 6 50.0%

  • Total voters
    12

Dash Riprock

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Judgment-free poll. Question is self-explanatory.

Feel free to leave a comment below if you'd like.

Thank you for your vote.

Ciao.

~Dash
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

2Rocky

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Yep....We did damn good on the kids we created. I probably would still have ended the marriage, but sooner, like 5 years.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Pierce Manhammer

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Don’t get me wrong, wouldn’t trade my children and the experience of helping rear them into amazing humans for anything. But inwouldve been able to do even a better job in a better marriage.
 

logicallefty

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My first wife, yes I would. She was my high school sweetheart. Got with her when I was 18, married her at 23, and she divorced me when I was 30. Over the years we have remained friends good to each other. We had a perfect daughter together. Right after me she got with another guy, married him, and eventually divorced him too. As friends, she has told me a few personal things over the years. First of all, she has called herself immature and said if she had to do it all again, she never would have left me. She also told me that she has only slept with me and him, nobody else. She is in her 40s, tall (maybe 5'11) and thin (maybe 145lbs) like she has always been. Redhead. She told me she hasn't slept with other men because "I have no business getting another boyfriend or husband, and I'm not the type who likes to sleep around for fun". She has a lot of empathy and was raised by two awesome parents. She really is a great person overall. So yes, I would give her another chance after the maturity and empathy she has shown since our divorce.
 
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RickTheToad

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No fvcking way. It was an absolute nightmare. She also assaulted me and nearly pushed me down the stairs. She missed, but I caught her so she wouldn't fall. Reason? She was looking for something that she misplaced and blamed it on me. The divorce lasted longer than the marriage. I then changed it to an annulment based on fraud (no child was created) just to erase the fact the marriage ever existed on paper. A different person came out once we were married. Complete shade during the 3 year dating courtship.

Should I get married again, I am taking even more precautions. Still on the fence as I do not like the family court or someone else have control of my actions and assets. The pre-nup would basically remove most rights aside from survivorship and medical. Should a lawyer or the GF not agree, no contract. Too many assets to protect.
 

BadBoy89

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My first wife, yes I would. She was my high school sweetheart. Got with her when I was 18, married her at 23, and she divorced me when I was 30. Over the years we have remained friends good to each other. We had a perfect daughter together. Right after me she got with another guy, married him, and eventually divorced him too. As friends, she has told me a few personal things over the years. First of all, she has called herself immature and said if she had to do it all again, she never would have left me. She also told me that she has only slept with me and him, nobody else. She is in her 40s, tall (maybe 5'11) and thin (maybe 145lbs) like she has always been. Redhead. She told me she hasn't slept with other men because "I have no business getting another boyfriend or husband, and I'm not the type who likes to sleep around for fun". She has a lot of empathy and was raised by two awesome parents. She really is a great person overall. So yes, I would give her another chance after the maturity and empathy she has shown since our divorce.
Why divorced then?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Modern Man Advice

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Judgment-free poll. Question is self-explanatory.

Feel free to leave a comment below if you'd like.

Thank you for your vote.

Ciao.

~Dash
Let's just say that if I had known what I know and who I am now, we wouldn't have even gotten together in the first place.

For as much I believe she is a great person, we just wouldn't have been attracted to each other or compatible. And while we are honest, knowing what I know now the range of women I see myself committing to has become significantly narrower. Effectively, you become less "dateable" according to modern date standards.

Modern Man Advice
 

2Rocky

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Did your ex wife start saying she wants you back?
Not in my case....I just realize our relationship had an expiration date. There was a point where I outgrew her. I probably would have made the same mistakes, just with someone else...

You have to realize I went into a field where my first job out of school was not where I was going to get to have a social life. I thought I needed to lock someone in to grow in that field with me. I grew, she didn't, and I eventually outgrew the field itself. That made me valuable in another related field which provides growth opportunities I never considered possible.
 

Dash Riprock

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Did your ex wife start saying she wants you back?
I've never been married but have been in many LTRs ranging from 2-9 years. If I would have brought up reconciliation, hypothetically, probably more than half would have gone for it. Others not. No regret on any of the breakups.

I honestly don't think it's in my DNA to get married. From a young age, even as a kid, it was never a goal of mine.
 

logicallefty

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Why divorced then?
She got post partum depression after our daughter was born, and three friends at work who convinced her to leave me because they left their husbands at the same time.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stoic

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Interesting thread.

I actually would probably have married the same woman, had I had to do it over again. I chose well, but I didn't behave well.

Like Dash was saying, I also may not be cut out for marriage.

She is/was a very good woman.

I was probably most of the problem.

I led poorly. Stunk at resolving issues. Took things too seriously. I was selfish.

As it happens, my ex is getting remarried today.
 
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