For some it's a lifelong attraction

[jhonny9546]

Have you noticed that there are women who, as early as childhood, or adolescence, or at 14 or 15, meet a boy in their social circle, and they stay together for a long time. You can find them again even at 40 or 50, and they'll still be together. These women will still be very attached and super close to their now-husbands, and will still be (or so it seems) super attracted to him.

It's simply as if these men are everything she needs, even though in reality, we're talking about very different situations.
He's not the ideal man or one of high SMV.
He's more of a simple man; he could be kind or arrogant, bald or with a full head of hair, with or without muscles, tall or short, rich or poor,it really varies.
The most curious thing is that they stay together, without any major changes in their relationship.

Is it worth understanding: what factors come into play here? Scarcity? Lack of opportunity? Personality disorders? Fear of abandonment? Idealization?

 

[inquisitor]

A lot of wrong presumptions, coupled with the lack of an evolutionary basis, and I'm too sleepy now to even explain them all. I'm sleeping.

 

[jhonny9546]

We would be happy to hear from you

 

[inquisitor]

The factors are less about what you said, and more about: sole focus being their own relationship, a touch of ignorance about other people, and young yet mature decision-making, then couple that with living in the right neighborhood, proper parenting on them both, certain (or uncertain but looking forward to achieve) financial stability, and the friendship that most probably served as their foundation.

This sounds dreamy, but they get used to the person, and soon they realize how attractive they find each other. A very high chance they're even each others' firsts. They still have issues like every other couple.

There's more to this, which merits another reply. Which ones are you curious about? Their sex lives? Their exposure to media? How did the woman decide to stay? How did the man decide to stay? How do they work on their issues?

 

[inquisitor]

Here's my take on the evolutionary side: paternal guidance remains as important thousands of years ago as it is today. It used to be, elder males would guide younger males while hunting and doing other dangerous activities to become as strong as themselves in the future. This appears to be both human instinct and tradition, ensuring long-term survival for generations, with stronger and stronger males guiding the tribe forward within the punishing world.

Let's not forget the element of luck.

 

[inquisitor]

Such paternal guidance is critical to a young man's pursuit of relationships with women.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Have you noticed that there are women who, as early as childhood, or adolescence, or at 14 or 15, meet a boy in their social circle, and they stay together for a long time

In centuries prior to The 20th, that may have been common, sure. TODAY, what you describe is more rare than being a Russian boy who makes it past aged 14, WITHOUT developing a serious addiction to booze and nicotine

These callow fantasies so many of us moderns cling to, regarding love and romance, are MORE absurd than our Post-9/11 veneration of a character like Jack Bauer or Daniel Craig's rendition of Bond

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This is not as common as it used to be, but it's pretty much how couples have always gotten together.

In certain religious communities, small town type environments, it still pretty much works that way.

You meet somebody compatible enough when you're young, choose each other and then just make it work.

The longer you are together, the more shared experiences you have (solving problems, raising kids, saving money, going on vacations etc.) the stronger the bond becomes.

This has as much to do with cultural upbringing, family (parents still relatively happily married) and social circle (minimal to zero promiscuity and hook up behavior) than the two people in the relationship.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In certain religious communities, small town type environments, it still pretty much works that way.

Yeah, when one spends years 0-17 in a locale where even Texas Roadhouse is more unknown than teeth are to a hard-core methead, Burger King seems like fine dining. One's standards are elevated exponentially, when he realizes the universe is far more plentiful and diverse than he realized

 

[jhonny9546]

There's more to this, which deserves another reply. Which ones are you curious about? Their sexual lives? Their exposure to the media? How did the woman decide to stay? How did the man decide to stay? How do they work on their issues?

Your explanation is interesting, but you stopped there; instead, we'd like to hear more.

These callow fantasies so many of us moderns cling to

In my own and not only social circle (my childhood one), 80% of couples (about 15) are made up entirely of women and men who dated and met within the circle.



And they almost all seem to have oneitis for each other.

The longer you are together, the more shared experiences you have (solving problems, raising kids, saving money, going on vacations etc.) the stronger the bond becomes.







This has as much to do with cultural upbringing, family (parents still relatively happily married) and social circle (minimal to zero promiscuity and hook up behavior) than the two people in the relationship.

In fact, this holds most weight: "exposure" to certain things and the "environment" that is created around it.

"Water takes the shape of the container it fills."



I can tell you how some couples I know, not all of whom are from the same social circle as their childhood, but who seem like two tenants, have a "solid" family image, precisely because they still have their great-grandparents and grandparents, who take care of family activities and traditions, like taking a family photo together every year.

Or other occasions. And this is also the paternal guidance mentioned above.



Again

"Water takes the shape of the container it fills."

The longer you are together, the more shared experiences you have (solving problems, raising kids, saving money, going on vacations etc.) the stronger the bond becomes.

I don't agree that it gets stronger and stronger, but they could break here, or simply for many die inside to respect the tradition of staying with that person.

 

[Travel memoir21]

I know couples like that, there relationships stemmed from Jr High and there still together from this day. It seems like there the ones who happens to have the most last relationships, I wonder why.....any answers for this?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

When you live in a country like OP where finding a partner is a pain in the @ss to begin with, you will see this phenomenon more. Social circle is predominant in some countries become some weird guy in a white hat is telling women not to phuck, so they vet more.

 

[tksniper]

It’s like a career. Imagine you had a nice and easy comfy career where you are getting paid $70k a year in a town where you only need $40k to live comfortably. You would just chalk it up to “This is handled.” Someone living in San Francisco or NYC or LA making $70k would be considered living in poverty.

To put parallels to this, an HB 10 in rural Alabama who is married to a balding man who works as a mechanic is a win for her. But if she were to move to NYC, she’d find out real quickly that she would need a 6 figure Plus man, or many men, or only fans.

Status is subjective and depends on your environment. You can be a restaurant manager in a small town making $50k a year and be a top 2% man. But you’d be bottom 99% in a major metropolitan city.

 

[Scaramouche]

When you live in a country like OP where finding a partner is a pain in the @ss to begin with, you will see this phenomenon more. Social circle is predominant in some countries become some weird guy in a white hat is telling women not to phuck, so they vet more.

Hi Billy,
Yes you are right.....The "Jam Jar Study"showed that while more options attract more initial interest, fewer options lead to more sales. Specifically, a table with 24 jam flavors drew more shoppers to stop and sample, but only 3% of them made a purchase. In contrast, a table with only six flavors attracted fewer initial browsers (40% vs. 60%), but 30% of those who stopped went on to buy a jar. This shows that too many choices can lead to decision paralysis.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Status is subjective and depends on your environment

Yeah, in 1980s Milwaukee, J. Dahmer likely APPEARED to be a chef of extraordinary talent, to all who droppers by his home for pot roast

When Dennys was/likely still is the closest those f-c-ing cheeseheads get to 4 star Michelin dining, carved up rent boy with a side of carrots and taters tastes more exquisite than an Ambien&Vodka ****tail does to Tara Reid

 

[jhonny9546]

Social circle is predominant in some countries become some weird guy in a white hat is telling women not to phuck, so they vet more.

Ok, could you tell us a bit more? Interesting.

To put parallels to this, an HB 10 in rural Alabama who is married to a balding man who works as a mechanic is a win for her. But if she were to move to NYC, she'd find out real quickly that she would need a 6 figure Plus man, or many men, or only fans.

This is true. In fact, I can see how many of those "rural" women changed their behavior toward me after increasing my SMV, while those who explored the world didn't.
Anyway, "rural" and "city" have no more boundaries. All it takes is social media, and now you have a different "set" of how people compare "status."

ps: In 2010, or at least, as soon as Instagram was released on phones, I had 15,000 followers, and girls in my city would see me on the street and say, "He's the one... well... do you know who?!"
I could hear them talking to each other. But then I deleted the account because it was giving me self-esteem issues.

 

[coldapproach]

Cuz the queen looks for highest SMV boy in the room and tries to settle down with him

 

[coldapproach]

And as long as she is truly attractled...she tends to make everything very easy...I could get away with literal ahh simping...(but it was natural, innocent and not the pathetic type)..and whenever I pulled away a bit .. she went crazy...