Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
this is very true.Originally posted by flexion_
Well an understanding of how women think is useful.
I think the message here is to not try and figure how a women thinks by what she says.
We always see these posts asking about something a women said and for a translation - most of the time what they say has nothing to do with they do...
I liked alot of what you said, but the only thing I would like to warn about is kissing.Originally posted by BrotherAP
If only we'd stop seeing threads by guys that are trying so hard to understand women!
I agree with you completely. We don't need to understand women. I'd go further and say that many people here are way too focused on "what women like" to the point that they are supplicating worse than the AFC who showers them in gifts. These men have devoted all of their time, energy, and creative thought to pleasing women.
I don't even think it's necessary to know if she's interested or not. If I like a girl, I'm going to hit on her. Either she is receptive or non receptive. If she doesn't outright reject me the first time, maybe I'll give it a second shot. When it becomes too much of a hassle, I stop trying.
The focus is on me. What do I want? Do I want her to go out with me? Then I am going to get her to do it. End of story. If she doesn't, oh well.
I've been so free since I stopped checking for signs of interest. It's a waste of time anyway, as I've learned, since SOME GIRLS WONT EVEN SHOW ANY 'SIGNS OF INTEREST' I feel bad for the guy who has ever given up on a woman because she was too subtle with her signals.
My only test for interest is the kiss test. If she kisses me, she must like me. Otherwise, it's probably time for me to move on.
That doesn't mean that you have to be stupid about them though! I went to a restaraunt with some friends the other day, and the hostess was smoking hot. After we sat down, she came to our table just to flirt with us - but I noticed her touching my friend on his arm as he left. Instantly I knew that she was digging him, so as soon as she walked away I casually mentioned to him "I think she likes you" Everybody thought I was wrong, because they hadn't trained themselves to see these things the way I have. Well, she ended up at that friends apartment that night. I was definitely not wrong.
Good tip, 00Kevin. I like the way you think.
BrotherAP
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.