"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Followed so-suave advice; worked well. Now what?

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,110
Reaction score
136
Age
45
Location
Manhattan, NY
ohiobohio518 said:
I'm 23... she's I dunno, 24 or 25. I know her through work (she doesnt work at the same place). Recently single.

First date:

Invited her out to ice cream the way you're supposed to, just a few hours before going: "I'm gonna get ice cream after I eat dinner. Wanna join?" Asking as if I was gonna go there anyway, and doing it pretty spontaneously.
Sounds good. Just out of curiosity, are you against drinking?

I bring her back to her apt, but she isn't in a rush to leave. She doesn't even reach for the door and we kind of keep talking. I'm not sure what she's expecting here, but I wasn't gonna kiss her (I've heard from sources she hates 'players')
Why would kissing a woman make you a player?

Also, of course you'll hear that women hate "players," but if you look at their sexual history, these are the guys who get into their pants. So obviously, they don't hate them too much, right?

I get out of work at 10pm Wed-Fri so I can't do any of those nights. Calling tomorrow and asking for Tuesday would seem a little desperate yeah?

So should I call tomorrow and ask for a Sat night dinner and then go check out the ride?
You're 23, so I don't see why you can't arrange some type of date after 10pm.

But yeah, try to get her out on Saturday. Again, I personally would rather do something a little more adult-themed, as dinner and amusement parks sounds too "Chick Flick" for me. But hey if it's working for you, then roll with it.
 

ohiobohio518

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
73
Reaction score
0
Location
Cleveland, Ohio
Iceberg said:
Sounds good. Just out of curiosity, are you against drinking?
No, I actually reconnected with her (and found out shes recently single) while on a night out with coworkers.

Why would kissing a woman make you a player?
I dunno. Maybe that was dumb. But I have one more chance before I blow it forever.

You're 23, so I don't see why you can't arrange some type of date after 10pm.
True, but since she has work at 9 in the morning it gets pretty restrictive as to how long you can stay out, or what you can do. Also, I forgot to mention, I live in a pretty small city where there really isn't much to do after 10 pm except go drink at a trashy bar. I don't actually live in Cleveland like my profile says.

But yeah, try to get her out on Saturday. Again, I personally would rather do something a little more adult-themed, as dinner and amusement parks sounds too "Chick Flick" for me. But hey if it's working for you, then roll with it.
You're right. The amusement park ride thing is just one thing that would take like 5 minutes. Maybe 15 minutes with the wait. We could just get that out of the way and then go get dinner, where drinking can be involved. Since it's Sat night, we can then go out, or watch a movie or something at my place.

Thanks for the advice... now just one last thing... call today or tomorrow? Smeh, really not that big a deal, but I'm just wondering
 
Joined
May 25, 2011
Messages
51
Reaction score
0
you should of kissed her, or at least raised her sexual interest level through kino. You are very much heading for friend zone.
 

ohiobohio518

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
73
Reaction score
0
Location
Cleveland, Ohio
justanothernormalguy said:
you should of kissed her, or at least raised her sexual interest level through kino. You are very much heading for friend zone.
I know, but it also didn't seem right, you know? I'm not trying to be a p*ssy about this and make excuses, really. It would've been awkward if I tried kissing her there. (This, on top of the player thing)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,413
Reaction score
297
Location
UK
Iceberg said:
Also, of course you'll hear that women hate "players," but if you look at their sexual history, these are the guys who get into their pants. So obviously, they don't hate them too much, right?
Exactly! All women say that, but very few act on it. Plus, it doesn't mean they don't want sex or physical contact.

You really should've kissed her and I'm guessing she was expecting and hoping for it.

It doesn't mean it's a lost cause, but tread very carefully with the gentleman card. It can be endearing at first, but the novelty wears off pretty quickly and if you don't show her some kind of sexuality, you could end up in the friendzone or judged as a "nice guy".

It has happened to me way too many times. Check out this post I wrote based on these exact experiences...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180108
 

ohiobohio518

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2005
Messages
73
Reaction score
0
Location
Cleveland, Ohio
OK. I got it. I think I'm going to ask her for a follow-up date sooner. I feel like I will be etched in the friend zone if I wait until Sat. I'm gonna call her tonight and try Tuesday. I mean, Tuesday, who has plans for Tuesday? K, done. Thanks for the advice guys.
 
Joined
May 25, 2011
Messages
51
Reaction score
0
You can always find a moment for a kiss, the more you wait around looking for the perfect moment the less likely you are to find it!
 
Top