"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Follow ups/Feedback/What could I have done wrong

C

Comatozed

Senior Don Juan
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The situation:

Went out with girl from tinder, few drinks, I thought we got on pretty well (obviously not), back to mine. I had no condoms so she blew me, I went down on her. She then left because she lived with her parents and couldn't stay the night...

She's hot and I want to bang her..so I messaged her Monday saying 'So did your mum ground you then?' - a reference to her telling me about the cover up she had planned to tell her mum when she got home.

No reply. I find myself AFC'd again. The date seemed to go well, i negged her a fair bit and she responded playfully and she came to mine and blew me so it can't have been THAT bad.

Anyway, is it worth texting again on Friday something like 'I hope not cos tonight I want you to come out with me' - I see it as though I don't really have anything to lose by doing so.

OR

How do you like texting like 'fine it was a one off thing, any particular reason as i'm interested in getting better with girls' again, looks insecure but nothing really to lose...we have no mutual friends and if she's not gonna bang me then w/e.

I'm just confused. All I can think is the date wasn't as great as I thought but she was horny and used me for sex.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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H

Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
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One date in and you're already showing her signs that you've chosen her - no bueno. You get the date, go out with her, then once the date's over, wait 4 days to contact her before hitting her up to ask her on a date again. No extra convos are needed, no random texting messages asking her about stuff that doesn't involve you getting the next date. And yes, just because she blew you doesn't mean she's made a decision about you being the only guy she sees - the more patient you are, the better results you'll have.

And for the love of God, don't send her an AFC message saying "okay, I get it, I know you don't like me" or anything like that. Girls are showing these messages to other girls, some of which you may run into later and would have had a chance with had it not been for them seeing the messages of desperation you were sending. Hit her up in a few days (preferably with a phone call) and ask her out again - if she responds, great, and if not, move on.
 
C

Comatozed

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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I think I may wrongly assume that once a girl blows me she has made a commitment to at least seeing me a few more times.

Good post. I wasn't trying to get into a chatty text conversation, I planned to just use that to say hi and then ask her out the next message.

I will contact her with a date proposal on friday and then leave it at that.
 
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